Best thing I read on the Clancy trial. I can't take credit for summarizing their stupidity. For all the tiktok detectives.....
So let me make sure I understand the Patrick conspiracy theory correctly because apparently I missed an episode.
Patrick secretly took Lindsay's phone while she was at the doctor WITH THE KIDS and searched how to unalive herself.
Then he forced her to seek mental health treatment, somehow convinced her to tell doctors she was having these thoughts, used her phone to text her mother about those same thoughts, and forced her to take medication.
But WAIT. The mastermind wasn't finished.
He then used Lindsay's phone to map out exactly how long it would take him to go to CVS, grab food, and get back home.
Then he texted HIMSELF asking for takeout so he could establish his own alibi and send himself on a little mission.
He drives to CVS, parks somewhere nearby, changes clothes like he's Jason Bourne, SPRINTS back home, unalives the children, somehow calls himself from Lindsay's phone for 14 seconds just to really sell the production, then SPRINTS back to his car, changes back into Regular Husband Patrick, picks up the food and casually drives home.
He gets there and realizes, "DvMN. Forgot to finish Lindsay.*
But instead of finishing this apparently years-in-the-making master plan, he CALLS 911 and brings police, firefighters and paramedics directly to the scene.
And according to TikTok Detective Academy, he orchestrated the mental health treatment, the doctors, the medications, the phone searches, the texts, the CVS trip, the food order, the timeline, the unaliving AND the world's most unnecessarily complicated alibi...
ALL BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE MARRIED ANYMORE???
At some point the conspiracy theory requires Patrick to be a psychiatrist, pharmacist, hacker, Olympic sprinter, professional hitman, screenwriter and time traveler all before the takeout got cold.
Stick to the box wine and let actual detectives and lawyers do their job.
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