Sorry man to see you thru this. If it helps, I can start trolling the hell out of the realignment board. I'm willing to make that sacrifice...

Seriously, I hope things get going in your favor. You're trying to make something of yourself, so the future is there for the taking IF you are willing to work for it. You have had a lot of tragedies in your immediate family with the loss of loved ones. While the grieving process is unique for everyone and the timeline for grieving varies for all of us, trying to set goals for yourself to accomplish will ultimately give you that purpose you seem to be seeking. I'd start small, like 1 week of perfect attendance at class starting next semester (I assume fall semester is done). Then build on the small goals. You can have fun with it and maybe put a series of small goals together in your mind (or on paper) and see if you can develop an overarching plan - basically a bottom up process. I'd quite drinking completely - at least for the time being until you have a master plan that you are working on for your life. An obviously important goal to throw yourself into is school. Get the best grades you can, and take pride in the work you do so that you get that feeling of satisfaction when you do a good job on a project or test.

If you don't do anything else during this week, get a hold of that girl and apologize person to person. Offer to take her out as friends - reset the relationship. Take a stroll thru Panther Hollow and visit the Phipps Conservatory. Visit the Carnegie Museum. Find a Light Opera House to attend a show or the Pittsburgh Symphony. Or offer to cook your friend a gourmet meal - better yet offer to work on it together and then have a quiet dinner alone with a movie and a bottle of wine (if you choose not to cut out alcohol completely) or pot of Jasmine Green Tea.

As a single guy in his early 30s, you have a gift. You have the opportunity to explore things that you would never consider doing before. If the traditional paradigm for Joey was to live, eat and sleep sports - shelve it for awhile and try something new. IMHO, you won't meet that special someone without putting yourself out there and being open to change.

Sorry for the rambling, but please drop me a line if you need to.