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Full Version: The Road to Depression
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Something I wrote as a means to help get myself on the right path.

https://joeweasel.wordpress.com/2015/12/...epression/

Part 2:

https://joeweasel.wordpress.com/2015/12/...ng-myself/
Joey, I wish you all the best as you get through this rough patch. I hope you find the help and support that you need. Writing this was a really brave step for you. If there's anything I can do, you know how to reach me.
Sorry man to see you thru this. If it helps, I can start trolling the hell out of the realignment board. I'm willing to make that sacrifice...

Seriously, I hope things get going in your favor. You're trying to make something of yourself, so the future is there for the taking IF you are willing to work for it. You have had a lot of tragedies in your immediate family with the loss of loved ones. While the grieving process is unique for everyone and the timeline for grieving varies for all of us, trying to set goals for yourself to accomplish will ultimately give you that purpose you seem to be seeking. I'd start small, like 1 week of perfect attendance at class starting next semester (I assume fall semester is done). Then build on the small goals. You can have fun with it and maybe put a series of small goals together in your mind (or on paper) and see if you can develop an overarching plan - basically a bottom up process. I'd quite drinking completely - at least for the time being until you have a master plan that you are working on for your life. An obviously important goal to throw yourself into is school. Get the best grades you can, and take pride in the work you do so that you get that feeling of satisfaction when you do a good job on a project or test.

If you don't do anything else during this week, get a hold of that girl and apologize person to person. Offer to take her out as friends - reset the relationship. Take a stroll thru Panther Hollow and visit the Phipps Conservatory. Visit the Carnegie Museum. Find a Light Opera House to attend a show or the Pittsburgh Symphony. Or offer to cook your friend a gourmet meal - better yet offer to work on it together and then have a quiet dinner alone with a movie and a bottle of wine (if you choose not to cut out alcohol completely) or pot of Jasmine Green Tea.

As a single guy in his early 30s, you have a gift. You have the opportunity to explore things that you would never consider doing before. If the traditional paradigm for Joey was to live, eat and sleep sports - shelve it for awhile and try something new. IMHO, you won't meet that special someone without putting yourself out there and being open to change.

Sorry for the rambling, but please drop me a line if you need to.
No Miko, please don't do that... hahaha

Appreciate the words of advise. Since I'm a vet, I sent her a text to see if she wants to check out Soldiers & Sailors. Got no word back from her. I'm kinda sure she's not going to respond. So I'm kinda not going to sweat her much because there's more fish in the sea. And yea, I do other things than sports. I've gone to operas and symphonies, and I actually like them.

Appreciate the kind words fellas.
As far as the girl, I'm pretty sure you'll never hear from her again. Still, that's just one life experience. Like you said - there's plenty of fish in the sea. I'm glad you reached out to her, though, and tried to make things right.

I think we all go through spurts where we're not ourselves. We aren't feeling right and nothing seems to help. I feel this way a lot around this time of year and I think, at least for me, that it has something to do with the lack of sunlight. When things persist longer or there are extremely dark thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, it's probably time to get some help. I don't necessarily practice what I preach and I've been there, too. Just know you're not alone in this.

For a while not too long ago I was listening to Derek & the Dominos Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs on a loop. Talk about sad. Clapton was in love with Pattie Boyd, George Harrison's wife. George happened to be his best friend. I mention this not comparing our situations at that time but you mentioned that you're into music. I am too. I'm always working on building my vinyl collection. I really connect with the music in good and bad times and I think even a sorrowful connection can be fulfilling.

Anyway, like I said - you know how to get in touch with me. If you ever want to talk, don't hesitate to reach out to me.
For me, the root cause of everything was my depression was me tearing my MCL. I called the VA everyday to set up an appointment and pretty much got ignored. My frustration with the VA, combined with replacing the tires (700 bucks) and the death of my aunt/family feud just progressed my frustrations into depression....

As for music, when I'm depressed/frustrated/upset, I tend to listen to heavy metal. The angrier the better.

This song really speaks to me in a way, especially the subtitles of military/veterans facts.





As for the girl, I pretty much know that I could never be friends, with her again and the chances of any relationship past a friendship is far slimmer; however, I just wanted to offer an apology and toss some water under the bridge. She did set up a fundraiser through Children's Miracle Network, which I donated a few bucks towards. I did that mostly because I grew up w/ heart issues, as well as a lot of my family.
Hope you're haning in there Joey! Feel free to drop me a line anytime.....
As I mentioned, it takes a lot of guts to post this. I hope you are hanging in there. Feel free to drop me a line if you ever need to.
Great to read you're hanging in there and getting better!
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