Interesting article, discuss:

http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/12/y...er_it.html

Quote:According to Peter Schmidt in the Chronicle of Higher Education, yet another individual working in higher education has been demolished for saying the wrong thing about homosexuality. The basis on which to define people as "anti-gay" has, however, taken a turn to the absurd (and eerie).

Unlike Angela McCaskill, who was nearly fired from Gallaudet University for signing a petition on gay marriage, Crystal Dixon of the University of Toledo was fired for writing an editorial in a local newspaper. She referred to Exodus and mentioned people who chose to leave the gay lifestyle.

For this column I will stick to the gay male angle, since I have but 1,200 words. Even if we accepted, for argument's sake (which I do not accept), that McCaskill was "anti-gay" because she signed a petition, the case against Dixon is based purely on wild assumptions about sex. To fire Dixon, one must accept that gay men cannot stop themselves from having anal sex or engaging in fellatio. Without anal sex or fellatio, it would seem that a gay couple is tough to distinguish from roommates who like to kiss each other once in a while.

These assumptions bestialize and infantilize gay men. While I have tired of penning editorials about gay controversies, the situation is dire. I feel compelled to write a column once again emphasizing a basic reality: gay sex is a choice. Nobody lacks the power to refrain from having gay sex. Get. Over. It.

Dixon said that gays had the choice to leave the lifestyle (in other words, stop engaging in anal sex and fellatio). According to her detractors, such was tantamount to being anti-gay. Her detractors are following the lead of the Southern Poverty Law Center, which lists "conversion therapy" as a hate crime.

Scroll through the comments section of any article about these issues. You will see a roll call of gays and pro-gay supporters, issuing confident testimonials that nobody has ever changed from gay to straight. (It's fine to change from straight to gay, according to these tribunes, because that's simply coming out of the closet.) They allude, at various times, to Simon LeVay's 1991 brain study or problematic decades-old research into identical twins, if not warped evolutionary logic from ideologues like David Barash or anecdotes about someone they know. The research has spoken! Anyone who says you can change your sexuality is a lying, right-wing bigot! To which I say the following:

Does anybody who uses the term LGBT remember the "B" in that God-forsaken acronym? Hello? There are bisexuals. I am one of them. Why include us in these categories if you think we don't exist?

Dating and marriage don't magically happen, like going to the bathroom or breathing. They take conscious choices -- where do you hang out? What are you looking for? What type of partner shares your goals? Whether to hang out in gay clubs or straight clubs makes a huge difference; these are completely different cultures. We choose the life we want to live (or leave, for that matter).

Even gay men still choose which sex acts they commit. I hate to admit this, but I worked as a housekeeper in a gay sex club in Manhattan in the early 1990s, when I was desperate for work. I witnessed, literally, thousands of men having sex in the open, with me having to go clean up after them. Very rarely (thank the Lord) did they engage in anal sex.

I have known, personally, scores of gay male couples that barely have any sex at all after they have been together for a while. (They start preferring Monday Night Football and hitting the sack early.) A large portion of the sex club patrons came to watch and then went home. If "Gs" can choose what kind of sex to have, they can also choose not to have sex at all. It's a choice.

In the lurid job I held in a Manhattan sex club, I learned some other things as well. Many men get involved in the gay scene for unexpected reasons. Many of them want fast and inexpensive sex, sometimes because they have trouble with women. They can go to a bathhouse or a cruising zone and pick up men without paying the fortune they'd have to spend on a prostitute.

Moreover, a lot of times I saw people who were addicted to drugs and addicted to anonymous sex; the two compulsions were linked somehow, and there was no way for such people to quit their addiction without quitting their homosexuality. These folks often ended up on the AA circuit or joining a church and getting baptized.

Lastly, a lot of men came to the gay sex scene in order to engage in bondage and sadomasochism, because they were raped as boys. The aftereffects of sexual assault, as we know from studying female rape victims, are complicated and often lead people to repeat or recreate the assault scene. Many of these mentally scarred men did not even have sex in sex clubs, even though they sought male partners to enact their eroticized simulations.

Lastly, straight men do not magically reach puberty with a fully functional sex life because of their nature. They struggle with impotence, might be late bloomers, get embarrassingly aroused in all-male environments occasionally, and sometimes can't find women they are attracted to. To address these issues, many men in relationships with women have to work through their difficulties by talking things over with someone else, who might be a chaplain or even a counselor. Are they all gay? No!

Lastly, I am left with my own life story. I can't change it. I went from being in the gay lifestyle to marrying a woman, having a daughter, and living a happy heterosexual life.

I'm over it

I'm over it as well.

This article is written by a stated bisexual, someone who admittedly does not understand being gay. Being gay means you literally are not physically attracted to the opposite sex. This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen. For people who are exclusively gay or nearly so (see the Kinsey scale for reference and a greater understanding of the wide range of sexual orientations and identities), having sex with people of the opposite sex really doesn't work.

And plus - the author actually states that the purpose of this article is celibacy more than anything else (thrown in stories disguise the main point, but it's there)... "I have known, personally, scores of gay male couples that barely have any sex at all after they have been together for a while. (They start preferring Monday Night Football and hitting the sack early.) A large portion of the sex club patrons came to watch and then went home. If "Gs" can choose what kind of sex to have, they can also choose not to have sex at all. It's a choice." This... seems like a very dumb point to make. Especially when... ALL people can "choose" not to have sex.

That's quite the revelation. Having sex is a choice.

Now THAT'S what you should get over.

(08-05-2013 11:04 AM)Ole Blue Wrote:  I'm over it as well.

This article is written by a stated bisexual, someone who admittedly does not understand being gay. Being gay means you literally are not physically attracted to the opposite sex. This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen. For people who are exclusively gay or nearly so (see the Kinsey scale for reference and a greater understanding of the wide range of sexual orientations and identities), having sex with people of the opposite sex really doesn't work.

And plus - the author actually states that the purpose of this article is celibacy more than anything else (thrown in stories disguise the main point, but it's there)... "I have known, personally, scores of gay male couples that barely have any sex at all after they have been together for a while. (They start preferring Monday Night Football and hitting the sack early.) A large portion of the sex club patrons came to watch and then went home. If "Gs" can choose what kind of sex to have, they can also choose not to have sex at all. It's a choice." This... seems like a very dumb point to make. Especially when... ALL people can "choose" not to have sex.

That's quite the revelation. Having sex is a choice.

Now THAT'S what you should get over.

On this board only "the gay" is bad

All sex is a choice. I wish heteros would use better choices.

Circle the date on your calendar when you made the decision to find girls attractive rather than boys.

Ought to be easy, right? I mean, it was a choice.

the film shortbus explores the boundaries of sexuality kinda in the way the author describes, as a choice. though, not gay to straight. it's the gayest movie ever. it's a great film, if you don't man intermittent man on man. and for the squeamish, all of the sex is real, balls and all. i had to shield my eyes a few times. but ultimately, it's a love story.





i'm not a gay man, i can't sit here and say it's choice or not. i do know that this article does nothing for the thousands of teens who've said, "i do not choose to be humiliated, bullied, and murdered." life's too short to live for the sake of being different.

(08-05-2013 11:04 AM)Ole Blue Wrote:  This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen.

I've known women that I wasn't sexually attracted to until after spending time with them and getting to know them.


And that's not even counting the ones I wasn't attracted to at 6:00PM but was by closing time.

(08-05-2013 11:04 AM)Ole Blue Wrote:  I'm over it as well.

This article is written by a stated bisexual, someone who admittedly does not understand being gay. Being gay means you literally are not physically attracted to the opposite sex. This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen. For people who are exclusively gay or nearly so (see the Kinsey scale for reference and a greater understanding of the wide range of sexual orientations and identities), having sex with people of the opposite sex really doesn't work.

And plus - the author actually states that the purpose of this article is celibacy more than anything else (thrown in stories disguise the main point, but it's there)... "I have known, personally, scores of gay male couples that barely have any sex at all after they have been together for a while. (They start preferring Monday Night Football and hitting the sack early.) A large portion of the sex club patrons came to watch and then went home. If "Gs" can choose what kind of sex to have, they can also choose not to have sex at all. It's a choice." This... seems like a very dumb point to make. Especially when... ALL people can "choose" not to have sex.

That's quite the revelation. Having sex is a choice.

Now THAT'S what you should get over.

So you're a homo?

Paradoxical dichotomy: Making great effort to convert people into a "born that way" lifestyle.

(08-05-2013 12:15 PM)AngryAphid Wrote:  Paradoxical dichotomy: Making great effort to convert people into a "born that way" lifestyle.

lol nice

(08-05-2013 11:55 AM)Paul M Wrote:  

(08-05-2013 11:04 AM)Ole Blue Wrote:  This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen.

I've known women that I wasn't sexually attracted to until after spending time with them and getting to know them.


And that's not even counting the ones I wasn't attracted to at 6:00PM but was by closing time.

We know what supermodels look like. We also know that back in the middle ages, fat women were the supermodels. You can't tell me that social norms don't come into play with sexual attraction.

(08-05-2013 12:15 PM)AngryAphid Wrote:  Paradoxical dichotomy: Making great effort to convert people into a "born that way" lifestyle.

LOL

(08-05-2013 01:06 PM)LSU04_08 Wrote:  

(08-05-2013 12:15 PM)AngryAphid Wrote:  Paradoxical dichotomy: Making great effort to convert people into a "born that way" lifestyle.

LOL

(08-05-2013 12:37 PM)EverRespect Wrote:  

(08-05-2013 11:55 AM)Paul M Wrote:  

(08-05-2013 11:04 AM)Ole Blue Wrote:  This is not a choice, because let's be honest do you choose who or what turns you on? I've yet to meet someone who can honestly say that they decide who to be sexually attracted to. It just doesn't happen.

I've known women that I wasn't sexually attracted to until after spending time with them and getting to know them.


And that's not even counting the ones I wasn't attracted to at 6:00PM but was by closing time.

We know what supermodels look like. We also know that back in the middle ages, fat women were the supermodels. You can't tell me that social norms don't come into play with sexual attraction.

The APA, and AMA universally agree that being gay is not a choice...but hey, what do MDs and PhDs really know anyway?

(08-05-2013 03:07 PM)UofMemphis Wrote:  The APA, and AMA universally agree that being gay is not a choice...but hey, what do MDs and PhDs really know anyway?

Exceptn' Spartans and prisons.

Seriously, has no one in the AMA or APA looked at history? Many of them visit prisons. Are they totally unaware of what goes on there?

(08-05-2013 03:07 PM)UofMemphis Wrote:  The APA, and AMA universally agree that being gay is not a choice...but hey, what do MDs and PhDs really know anyway?

History says otherwise and it's a lot harder to change history than the opinions of professionals who you can bury for being politically correct. Harder but not impossible. Don't worry Memph, they will get around to rewriting that soon enough.

(08-05-2013 03:16 PM)Bull_In_Exile Wrote:  

(08-05-2013 03:07 PM)UofMemphis Wrote:  The APA, and AMA universally agree that being gay is not a choice...but hey, what do MDs and PhDs really know anyway?

History says otherwise and it's a lot harder to change history than the opinions of professionals who you can bury for being politically correct. Harder but not impossible. Don't worry Memph, they will get around to rewriting that soon enough.

as someone has said...orientation isn't about who you sleep with...it's about who you're attracted to.

you can't control if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever...you can choose who you have sex with.

This concept seems to go right over the GOP mind...

(08-05-2013 03:07 PM)UofMemphis Wrote:  The APA, and AMA universally agree that being gay is not a choice...but hey, what do MDs and PhDs really know anyway?

I think it is a mistake to go down this road.

Who cares if it is a choice or genetic? Aren't people allowed to make choices?

The problem with it being genetic is that if we can't discriminate against people for their genetic predispositions, then we can't keep genetically predisposed pedophiles from being elementary school teachers... something the APA and AMA are increasingly inclined to say (genetic predisposition).

Whether it is a choice or a genetic predisposition is immaterial to the fact that most people don't consider 90% of what they do to be public issue. The same isn't true of pedophiles... again, whether genetic predisposition or choice.