With all the discussions and specualtion on BEast expansion/split that predominate the offseason, and drive me bonkers, we now open discussion on BEast expansion, splitting into 2 conferences, or remaining the way we are. Let's open the floor with a roll call. Who's here?

I'm here.

Don't bother me until I've had my coffee. I had a bad night, and I'm not in the mood.

I'm here. But now I'm stuck on this shield. Can anybody get me off?

I'm having my coffee, man. Didn't I tell you not to bother me until I've had my coffee?

Hey! Don't look at me. I'm just here. That's it.

Hey guys. I just flew in, and boy are my arms tired.

I come. I go. I return. What say thee now?

BANG!!!

(looks stunned... sh!ts in pants)

I'm here. What's that foul smell?

Is anybody listening? I'm still stuck on this shield.

Yea. I'm here. Do I have to be? It reeks. And can somebody take that musket away from the Mountaineer. Girls with guns scare me. They remind me of my last girlfriend.

You and what army is going to take my musket? One more word out of you, and I'll nail your head on a wall.

You mean I left a nice comfy couch for this sh!t?

I burned all my couches. Now shut up.

I don't smell nothing. What's everybody complaining about?

Me thinks thou sayest too much, me lady.

Can we join in too?

Who let these jerks in? Don't I have enough morons hitting on me already?
(turns are glares at Scarlet Knight)
One more word out of you, and I'm going to ram this musket up your armor in the place that will do the most good for you and me both...

(looks stunned... sh!ts in pants again)

I can see Memphis' point. But I can see UCF's point too. Even ECU makes a good case. Perhaps we should let 'em sit in and discuss this with us.

If one of these morons hits on me, I'm going to shoot somebody.

The Big East needs Memphis. After all, we bring the entire State of Tennessee, as well as the Liberty Bowl. We've also got a long history of being really good in basketball. It doesn't get any better than that.

Didn't your coach - and all your talented players - leave town just before the NCAA investigative team hit town?

Hey, it's not our fault. That guy (what's his name? Oh yea!) Calipari screwed us royally and then skipped out on us, leaving us holding his bag. It's all Kentucky's fault. They set us up so they could steal our coach easier. But with the Memphis market, we're still the best option for expansion.

Heck no. It doesn't bring more exposure in Florida. We've got Mickey Mouse, stupid. What do you guys have? A flood plain in the spring.

We've got all the exposure in Florida we need. Now get me off this shield, so I can gore that stupid knight.

You can never get enough exposure in Florida. Mickey likes it here in Orlando, and you guys will too. Trust me. Seriously.

Shut up. We don't need you. We've got Florida covered now that Miami is gone. Now can anyone get me off this shield, or do I have to listen to this sh!t all day?

Hey, you guys go on without us. I'm talking with Joe Paterno. He's going to get us into the Big Ten!!!

Thank God! The number of morons hitting on me is reduced by one.

Memphis brings the Liberty Bowl.

Don't you think it's time to invite ECU? You need at least one more member to ease your scheduling problems, and we'd give y'all a big TV market in the heart of ACC country. My buddy the Mountaineer assured me we'd be in. After all, we do play WVU a lot.

How the hell did I get dragged into this crap? Does every blind date I take have to end up in some kind of scandal? Is it some kind of law? Or is it a punishment for socializing with Pirates?

No self-respecting Pirate would ever punish you. Unless your tastes run that way, that is.

Can't we all just get along? By the way, do you like dogs with your Pirates?

Can I shoot 'em, and put 'em out of my misery?

Well be that way, then. (goes sulking in the corner with his tail between his legs)

( walks over to corner where the Husky lay sulking)
Come doggie. As a precursor to my glorious entry into the Big Ten, let us repair to the storeroom. We shall seek succor there, and perhaps some sustanance in the form of hard drink.

(flies over to Scarlet Knight, lands on his helmet, and craps all over it)
A drink sounds good about now. These guys don't need us for this discussion.

Count me in guys. I need a drink myself.

Well be that way. But we're still the best option. After all, we've got almost as many fans in Charlotte as WVU has.

Did I here somebody say something about a drink? I'd kill somebody for a drink. How about you, Otto?

A drink sounds good. I finished my coffee, and I'm still hungover.

Do you know the best thing about you, Otto?

What's that?

You don't hit on me because you don't have any sexual organs.

I don't!?!?!? Now you tell me.

(races out of the room, and says, his words fading into the background) Wait up guys. I want to get there before the Mountaineer drinks it all. I've never met a girl who could hold so much liquor before, and I haven't gotten lucky once yet.

Don't leave me on this shield guys. I want a drink too.

Memphis brings the Liberty Bowl.

We're in Florida guys.

ECU!!! ECU!!!

Guys? Don't leave me here! Get me off this shield. Please don't leave me in here with these nutcases.

Guys?

Thank U board.. the semi wild cat outside just had kittens and they were all still born.

Thanks for the laugh bit. I needed that today.

Not a prob...

[quote='bitcruncher' pid='4416831' dateline='1244674785']

[quote] Didn't your coach - and all your talented players - leave town just before the NCAA investigative team hit town?[/quote]

Hate to go off on a tangent (this is a very funny thread), but this might be a good place to interject an interesting point (which is not worth a new thread). UofM denied all allegations of wrongdoing in basketball last Saturday (the verdict should be in about 6 weeks), but admitted the charges in women's golf, which were essentially that about $2500 in cash and gifts were given to players by their coach. The frustrating thing is that the inducements had nothing to do with "cheating" in the normal sense. The coach is a lesbian who was seeking "favors". She was immediately fired and corrective actions were taken as soon as UofM learned what had happened.

I thought I covered that...

bitcruncher Wrote: Hey, it's not our fault. That guy (what's his name? Oh yea!) Calipari screwed us royally and then skipped out on us, leaving us holding his bag. It's all Kentucky's fault. They set us up so they could steal our coach easier. But with the Memphis market, we're still the best option for expansion.

But seriously, sexual deviants appear everywhere. There was an incident at Tennessee not long ago involving a professor and a couple of students that was handled quietly - in-house, as it were...

The fact that Memphis got a player that Syracuse wanted is exactly why Otto said that. You bruised the Orange, now feel Otto's squirting juices...

One more word out of you, and she's going to ram that musket up the place that will do you the most good...

(06-11-2009 12:58 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  I thought I covered that...

bitcruncher Wrote: Hey, it's not our fault. That guy (what's his name? Oh yea!) Calipari screwed us royally and then skipped out on us, leaving us holding his bag. It's all Kentucky's fault. They set us up so they could steal our coach easier. But with the Memphis market, we're still the best option for expansion.

But seriously, sexual deviants appear everywhere. There was an incident at Tennessee not long ago involving a professor and a couple of students that was handled quietly - in-house, as it were...

Once I met a girl on rocky top 1/2 bear the other 1/2 cat.
She looked just like my twin sister and I still dream about that.:rolltide:

(06-11-2009 06:03 PM)KnightChris Wrote:  

(06-11-2009 05:06 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  The fact that Memphis got a player that Syracuse wanted is exactly why Otto said that. You bruised the Orange, now feel Otto's squirting juices...

Are you implying that Otto's juices are bitter??? Sir, you just crossed the line!

-Chris

By the way, have you ever had orange juice squirt into your eye? Sweet or not, the citric acid burns...

Bit, my wife can't figure out why I'm laughing so hard right now. Thanks for the comic relief.

Did you show her why?

Sounds like fun. But God help those in the line of fire...

You are right about one thing though. It would have been better if the Card was the one poking fun at Memphis. But with Kragthorpe being in town, I just couldn't see Louisville talking sh!t to anyone. Crapping on Rutgers, sure. But talking sh!t? You got to be kidding me...

Now do one with the BB schools