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BIGDTiger Offline
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Post: #1
Talk to the people you love and who love you
My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?
(This post was last modified: 07-20-2021 12:26 AM by BIGDTiger.)
07-20-2021 12:20 AM
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jsw3ent Online
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Post: #2
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Prayers sent
07-20-2021 12:36 AM
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TigerJJ Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Prayer sent for you and his family. I also suffered a tragedy 9/11/2020 when my son's private plane crashed. May the Lord give you comfort and peace that only He can give in this in this terrible incident.
07-20-2021 01:46 AM
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danny1 Online
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Post: #4
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
So sorry to hear. Very wise words of advice for all of us.

Praying for God’s perfect peace for you, the rest of his family, friends and loved ones.

Thank you for sharing.
07-20-2021 02:54 AM
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danny1 Online
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Post: #5
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 01:46 AM)TigerJJ Wrote:  Prayer sent for you and his family. I also suffered a tragedy 9/11/2020 when my son's private plane crashed. May the Lord give you comfort and peace that only He can give in this in this terrible incident.

Sorry to hear of your loss. God bless you and your family.
07-20-2021 02:57 AM
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ericsrevenge76 Away
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?



I don't even know any of you but reading this just tore me to pieces.

I can't begin to express how sorry I am for you and your family over this tragedy. The wake of things like this will have such a massive impact on all of you for the rest of your lives. And his wife and children.....I do not have the words but my heart and my spirit cries out for all of you.

You are going to be foremost in my prayers in the days ahead, you and your family and the family he leaves behind. No one can lessen the pain or fill the void but I will pray with all my heart for Christ to lift you up and help the family pick up the pieces and carry on in the days, weeks and years that lie ahead.

Remember that you can't blame yourself, nor can his family, he made a personal decision in a moment of terrible distress. As bad as we want to believe we can, none of us can save each other. No matter what we do there is no guarantee that it would have changed the outcome in the end. Its vital you and his wife and kids try to remember that in the days ahead. No matter how badly we want to save those we love, its really out of our hands in the end. All we can do is let them know how much we love them and how much we are here for them. And this is a very cold and loveless time we are in, people have grown cold and put up walls around each other. Decadent societies (like ours is now) tend to grow very cold in their latter stages, even in the midst of great prosperity.

Everyone needs to remember, (me included) that everyone else out there we meet and know is going through something that we know nothing about, EVERYONE is struggling with something in their life no matter how well it may be hid. So we should all remember to be kind to each other, because no matter what happens everyone is dealing with something in their life that day. So be kind, have grace with each other. I forget that at times as well, we ALL do. None of us are perfect, we ALL have problems we are dealing with. Some people are better at covering it up than others, but its there in everyone.

The only one that can save anyone of us is Christ, and He is the only one that can fill those dark places with light and bring us through those dark times. He suffered in life as much as anyone and died a horrible death as anyone, and it was all to pay our debt for us to be reconciled to God. He literally took all sin upon Himself and paid the penalty for us.

The best advice I can give you and the family now is to lean on Christ and lift each other up in love as much as possible. What else do we have in this life but those we love and our Lord and Savior? All the pleasures of the world leave us empty in the end, all that shimmers in this world will fade. All our works crumble to dust in the end, all we have is those whom we love and our Savior who will raise us all up and gather us to Himself on the last day. He willingly lived and experienced these struggles just as we do now. He paid our debt for us and redeemed us by His own blood, all we have to do is accept His free gift and believe.

I pray will all my heart and soul for strength and support for you and the family as you morn and try to move forward from here one day at a time. I pray for his children that will have that hole in their lives without their father and the questions that will linger in their lives from this. I pray for his wife that will feel the burden of all of this the most. She will need total unconditional support and love from you and the family in the years ahead.

If you ever need someone to talk to about this or just prayer support I am here and always will be. Feel free to PM me.

May God bless all of you.

Grace and peace to you all in Jesus name.
(This post was last modified: 07-20-2021 02:25 PM by ericsrevenge76.)
07-20-2021 02:58 AM
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TallTiger Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Prayers of peace and comfort to you and your family, BigDTiger.

Thank you for your response, ericsrevenge76.
07-20-2021 07:16 AM
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former guest Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Prayers for you, your family, and all those affected by this. Unanswered questions are so hard to deal with by those left behind.
07-20-2021 07:32 AM
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Claw Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Prayers.
07-20-2021 08:02 AM
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SeñorTiger Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Very sad and very painful for the families. I had a cousin take his own life several years ago.

84 men a week take their own life. 75% of suicides are male. It is a very sad reality that many men are silently walking around in and trying to burden on their own.
07-20-2021 10:22 AM
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Stammers Online
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Post: #11
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

I'm very sorry for your loss and prayers sent for his family. The truth is that his family and friends loved him and cared about him, and nothing could have been done to save him. It wasn't about one more conversation or calling more often or asking more questions. Sadly, we all know people like your friend. The worst part for them I think, is that they know that they should be happy, should have a great life, are lucky for what they have, have family and friends that care about them and miss them, and they still can't cope.
07-20-2021 10:28 AM
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gulfcoastgal Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
I'm so sorry and crying as I read this. My nephew suffers from depression and has been in and out of treatment centers since 10yrs old. I always answer his calls and text regularly. As hard as this is for you and your family, thank you for sharing. Praying for you and yours.
07-20-2021 10:36 AM
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poppaslaw Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
God Bless you and yours.
07-20-2021 12:21 PM
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rc0213 Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Condolences...

Prayer goes out to the family and friends.
07-20-2021 12:28 PM
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geosnooker2000 Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?


This is the evil that is the internet as far as I'm concerned. I'm not saying people didn't commit suicide 30 years ago, but I have never felt so isolated as I do now. It gets worse and worse every year. People don't get together in person like we did before social media took over. Now it is "too much trouble" to meet up with old friends when you can just text them or IM them in generalities and platitudes. Not to mention the facade we see every time we see our "friend's" facebook posts instead of their real world situation. I'm as guilty as the next. I only post the positive, none of the negative.

Sorry for your loss. Very sad.
07-20-2021 02:28 PM
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Tigerx3 Online
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

Thank you for sharing your story. I grieve with you. The sad truth is the public person we each project often masks pain that can run very deep. The past 18 months reveal mental health casualties including suicide have risen dramatically as we became more detached and isolated in the pandemic. Your heart-felt words are spot on. Compassionate human contact is a healing power. It heals the giver and the recipient.

Screw our differences and partisanship. Find joy in being part of connecting to people you know and helping those you may not.

May your family be blessed with only good memories as you celebrate the man you knew and loved.
07-20-2021 02:50 PM
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covingtontiger Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Reading this post reminds me of my lady friend, whose father committed suicide over 40 years ago. His family still does not understand why that happened. I’m sure that your family will be impacted in a similar way, even years from now. But, they have realized that it was no fault of theirs and that there was nothing they could have done to change that terrible outcome.

I will pray for all of you to receive comfort from God to ease your pain. May the love of Jesus bring you all peace and the ability to move forward with your lives.
07-20-2021 08:16 PM
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tigerjamesc Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
So sorry, my friend. I pray for peace and no blame in your family or yourself. I’m sorry for the hurt he experienced and thankful you have one another to lean on
07-22-2021 12:17 PM
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tigergreen Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
I'm so sorry, BigD. Sending prayers of peace to you and your family.
07-22-2021 03:51 PM
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21-17 Best Time I Ever Ha Offline
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RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Some people commit suicide quickly, and some commit it over years. We are often left with only questions to which we will never have real answers...and a lot of guilt and what if's. Try to let go of that, and God will give you peace. There is usually very little we can do to save another person.
07-22-2021 06:42 PM
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