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Talk to the people you love and who love you
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ATLMemphfan Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
That's tough, man. Sorry for y'alls' loss.
07-22-2021 09:09 PM
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Merrick Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

Just....Wow....

I'm so sorry for his family, and for your loss. I'm sorry for all of his friends. It is truly unfortunate, but you are correct...we all need to be more caring for each other, and to look out for others...
07-23-2021 09:53 AM
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HumboldtTiger Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

On 01/04/1994 my wife didn't show up for work. Her co-worker called & I left work to go home to see what was going on. She had committed suicide. I tried to revive her but to no avail. She was a happy person everyone loved and adored. Two boys (one from a previous marriage & one together) that were 8 & 3 at the time. She left a note but no explanation. To this day I still find it hard to believe. What I have learned through this is the fact that if someone is serious about suicide you won't know it. The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious! In hindsight I see the signs that I missed. They were obvious after she was gone. I never thought she'd leave her boys. I never thought she'd leave her family. I never thought she'd leave me. I've had the opportunity to stop one person from taking his life since I lost my wife. I thank God he gave the vision to see what was going on & intervene. I'll say a prayer for you & your family. It's not going to be easy but know that there are people out here that truly understand your pain & if you need them all you have to do is reach out.
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2021 09:20 PM by HumboldtTiger.)
07-23-2021 09:19 PM
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jsw3ent Online
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Post: #24
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-23-2021 09:19 PM)HumboldtTiger Wrote:  
(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote:  My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.

He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?

What if I would have called him more? Or texted?

We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.

Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?

On 01/04/1994 my wife didn't show up for work. Her co-worker called & I left work to go home to see what was going on. She had committed suicide. I tried to revive her but to no avail. She was a happy person everyone loved and adored. Two boys (one from a previous marriage & one together) that were 8 & 3 at the time. She left a note but no explanation. To this day I still find it hard to believe. What I have learned through this is the fact that if someone is serious about suicide you won't know it. The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious! In hindsight I see the signs that I missed. They were obvious after she was gone. I never thought she'd leave her boys. I never thought she'd leave her family. I never thought she'd leave me. I've had the opportunity to stop one person from taking his life since I lost my wife. I thank God he gave the vision to see what was going on & intervene. I'll say a prayer for you & your family. It's not going to be easy but know that there are people out here that truly understand your pain & if you need them all you have to do is reach out.

WOW just WOW---I am so very sorry---SAD so sad----prayers for you and your family as well
07-23-2021 09:25 PM
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ATLMemphfan Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
"The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious!'

I'm really sorry for your loss. The above quote is not true at all. Plenty of people that talk about it are serious. Others are in the middle of talking themselves into it. Medical professionals have to take any talk of it seriously for exactly those reasons.
07-23-2021 09:36 PM
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HumboldtTiger Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-23-2021 09:36 PM)ATLMemphfan Wrote:  "The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious!'

I'm really sorry for your loss. The above quote is not true at all. Plenty of people that talk about it are serious. Others are in the middle of talking themselves into it. Medical professionals have to take any talk of it seriously for exactly those reasons.

Your opinion....my personal experience. Either you missed my point or I didn't explain it better. The silent ones aren't asking for help. The ones that talk about it are reaching out! But this debate isn't the issue. We can debate this another day! BigDTiger & his family are what's important.
07-23-2021 09:50 PM
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ericsrevenge76 Away
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Post: #27
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-23-2021 09:50 PM)HumboldtTiger Wrote:  
(07-23-2021 09:36 PM)ATLMemphfan Wrote:  "The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious!'

I'm really sorry for your loss. The above quote is not true at all. Plenty of people that talk about it are serious. Others are in the middle of talking themselves into it. Medical professionals have to take any talk of it seriously for exactly those reasons.

Your opinion....my personal experience. Either you missed my point or I didn't explain it better. The silent ones aren't asking for help. The ones that talk about it are reaching out! But this debate isn't the issue. We can debate this another day! BigDTiger & his family are what's important.



Most of us understood your point. 04-cheers
07-24-2021 12:20 AM
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ATLMemphfan Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-23-2021 09:50 PM)HumboldtTiger Wrote:  
(07-23-2021 09:36 PM)ATLMemphfan Wrote:  "The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious!'

I'm really sorry for your loss. The above quote is not true at all. Plenty of people that talk about it are serious. Others are in the middle of talking themselves into it. Medical professionals have to take any talk of it seriously for exactly those reasons.

Your opinion....my personal experience. Either you missed my point or I didn't explain it better. The silent ones aren't asking for help. The ones that talk about it are reaching out! But this debate isn't the issue. We can debate this another day! BigDTiger & his family are what's important.

It isn't opinion, I've studied this extensively and worked to help many suicidal people. I'm not trying to debate, I'm trying to stop the spread of misinformation. I apologize if that sounds rude, as it isn't my intent to be rude. I simply don't want someone to read this and think "oh he doesn't really mean it" when their friend or family member mentions suicide.
07-24-2021 11:11 AM
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memphisike Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
So sorry for your loss
Prayers for you and family
07-24-2021 12:05 PM
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HumboldtTiger Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-24-2021 11:11 AM)ATLMemphfan Wrote:  
(07-23-2021 09:50 PM)HumboldtTiger Wrote:  
(07-23-2021 09:36 PM)ATLMemphfan Wrote:  "The ones that hint or talk about it are asking for help. The ones that are silent about it are serious!'

I'm really sorry for your loss. The above quote is not true at all. Plenty of people that talk about it are serious. Others are in the middle of talking themselves into it. Medical professionals have to take any talk of it seriously for exactly those reasons.

Your opinion....my personal experience. Either you missed my point or I didn't explain it better. The silent ones aren't asking for help. The ones that talk about it are reaching out! But this debate isn't the issue. We can debate this another day! BigDTiger & his family are what's important.

It isn't opinion, I've studied this extensively and worked to help many suicidal people. I'm not trying to debate, I'm trying to stop the spread of misinformation. I apologize if that sounds rude, as it isn't my intent to be rude. I simply don't want someone to read this and think "oh he doesn't really mean it" when their friend or family member mentions suicide.

TO BE CLEAR....I never said it wasn't serious! I'm not "spreading misinformation". I'm relaying my experience in hopes that it helps someone (BIGDTiger) that's going through the same thing I went through. When someone talks about or hints about suicide they are reaching out aka asking for help is what I said. Not that they aren't serious! Sorry again BIGDTiger about your loss & hope you find peace through all this. Those of us who have walked that same road you are about to walk truly understand. Sometimes talking to those that have walked the same path makes it easier. Take care & may God be with you & your family through this very trying time.
(This post was last modified: 07-25-2021 09:34 AM by HumboldtTiger.)
07-25-2021 09:30 AM
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snowtiger Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
Every situation is different. Reasons are different.

Sometimes it's not even suicide when it is--
like driving a car recklessly and losing control... like accidentally falling off a cliff when you didn't take precautions to begin with....Sometimes people just want to check out
07-26-2021 12:29 PM
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BIGDTiger Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Talk to the people you love and who love you
(07-26-2021 12:29 PM)snowtiger Wrote:  Every situation is different. Reasons are different.

Sometimes it's not even suicide when it is--
like driving a car recklessly and losing control... like accidentally falling off a cliff when you didn't take precautions to begin with....Sometimes people just want to check out

I think everyone has the thought or feeling at some point in their life. It’s always so important to remember, within 5 minutes all of your fortunes can turn. It has for me before. Also, think of the unending sorrow and constant questions of “what if” that will plague your family and friends.

Also remember this, your life is not your own. And if your maker has deemed or allowed that your life is not what you have dreamt of, get over it. If your trials are over coming you, let them make you stronger. And in your strength you can help someone else someday who’s going through what you did.
07-27-2021 01:36 AM
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