(07-20-2021 12:20 AM)BIGDTiger Wrote: My brother in law and one of my dearest friends of over 30 years committed suicide. He leaves behind a beautiful wife , 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. He had everything all of us would say we want in life. Career. Dream home in the smokies. Dream wife. Dream kids. None of them were troubled. He came home for lunch and killed himself. No note. No appearance of issues that would have caused this.
He was the happiest person any of us ever knew. Yet none of us knew of whatever this struggle was he was having. What if that one conversation would have saved him? What if whatever had hit him so hard the other day would have fixed itself, or proven to be so much simpler with a few days of perspective and another visit with the grandchildren? What if he would have talked to his wife?
What if I would have called him more? Or texted?
We were not meant to bare our burdens alone. Don’t forsake friends. If you are struggling in life. If you have issues no one knows of but you. Seek help. Seek love. Seek prayer. And never believe for the first time that the world is better without you. The wreckage your absence will leave will effect everyone who’s life you have touched forever. Kids growing up without a dad. Grandkids never hearing the wisdom of a grandfather. A wife pulling back sheets for an empty side of the bed.
Everyone forever left with the question of , what if?
I don't even know any of you but reading this just tore me to pieces.
I can't begin to express how sorry I am for you and your family over this tragedy. The wake of things like this will have such a massive impact on all of you for the rest of your lives. And his wife and children.....I do not have the words but my heart and my spirit cries out for all of you.
You are going to be foremost in my prayers in the days ahead, you and your family and the family he leaves behind. No one can lessen the pain or fill the void but I will pray with all my heart for Christ to lift you up and help the family pick up the pieces and carry on in the days, weeks and years that lie ahead.
Remember that you can't blame yourself, nor can his family, he made a personal decision in a moment of terrible distress. As bad as we want to believe we can, none of us can save each other. No matter what we do there is no guarantee that it would have changed the outcome in the end. Its vital you and his wife and kids try to remember that in the days ahead. No matter how badly we want to save those we love, its really out of our hands in the end. All we can do is let them know how much we love them and how much we are here for them. And this is a very cold and loveless time we are in, people have grown cold and put up walls around each other. Decadent societies (like ours is now) tend to grow very cold in their latter stages, even in the midst of great prosperity.
Everyone needs to remember, (me included) that everyone else out there we meet and know is going through something that we know nothing about, EVERYONE is struggling with something in their life no matter how well it may be hid. So we should all remember to be kind to each other, because no matter what happens everyone is dealing with something in their life that day. So be kind, have grace with each other. I forget that at times as well, we ALL do. None of us are perfect, we ALL have problems we are dealing with. Some people are better at covering it up than others, but its there in everyone.
The only one that can save anyone of us is Christ, and He is the only one that can fill those dark places with light and bring us through those dark times. He suffered in life as much as anyone and died a horrible death as anyone, and it was all to pay our debt for us to be reconciled to God. He literally took all sin upon Himself and paid the penalty for us.
The best advice I can give you and the family now is to lean on Christ and lift each other up in love as much as possible. What else do we have in this life but those we love and our Lord and Savior? All the pleasures of the world leave us empty in the end, all that shimmers in this world will fade. All our works crumble to dust in the end, all we have is those whom we love and our Savior who will raise us all up and gather us to Himself on the last day. He willingly lived and experienced these struggles just as we do now. He paid our debt for us and redeemed us by His own blood, all we have to do is accept His free gift and believe.
I pray will all my heart and soul for strength and support for you and the family as you morn and try to move forward from here one day at a time. I pray for his children that will have that hole in their lives without their father and the questions that will linger in their lives from this. I pray for his wife that will feel the burden of all of this the most. She will need total unconditional support and love from you and the family in the years ahead.
If you ever need someone to talk to about this or just prayer support I am here and always will be. Feel free to PM me.
May God bless all of you.
Grace and peace to you all in Jesus name.