Quote:Your child's bookshelves are crawling with racism and toxic problematicness.

But don't worry -- it's nothing we can't fix with a little good old-fashioned book burning.

There are hundreds of children's books that could use a good canceling. But let's just start with these nine for now:

1. Horton Hears a Who -- This Seuss book hasn't been canceled yet, but it sure needs to be. The book claims a person is a person no matter how small, showing that Seuss hates women's rights and wants to control their bodies.

2. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom -- Prominently features the letter "Q."

3. Every Berenstain Bears book -- These books perpetuate the idea of a nuclear family with traditional values. They also appropriated furry culture.

4. Clifford the Big Red Dog -- He’s literally a dog whistle for far-right neo-Nazi extremists and their affinity to the color red.

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Teaches kids there should be consequences for bad behavior without even considering the child's race, ethnicity, or history of being oppressed.

6. The Very Hungry Caterpillar -- This is book encourages kids to consume and consume, destroying the environment for their own personal gain.

7. Goodnight Moon -- Honestly, it's probably not racist, but if we have to read this book to our kids one more time we're gonna die.

8. The Jungle Book -- Insensitive and stereotypical of Indian culture. Mowgli is called "man-cub," and don't even get us started on that loaded term. How has this not been canceled already?

9. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie -- Teaches kids about cause and effect-- which, as we all know from corporate anti-racism training, is an aspect of white culture not shared by other people groups.

10. The Tuttle Twins -- Free markets? Individual responsibility? American history? Are you kidding? Where do we even start? We literally can't even with this one.

11. The Little Engine That Could -- Implies that hard work and effort can help you overcome challenges, which is pretty tone-deaf considering oppressed groups aren't able to benefit from hard work.

12. Genderqueer Marxist Baby -- Actually this one seems fine.

Get out the kerosene if you love your children.

(03-04-2021 01:46 PM)CrimsonPhantom Wrote:  6. The Very Hungry Caterpillar -- This is book encourages kids to consume and consume, destroying the environment for their own personal gain.