Quote:The world seems to be blowing up all around us, yet Joe Biden is still doing Joe Biden-like things -- spending his time at the beach and engaging in activities that solve none of the problems he helped to create. He managed to make it back from the beach on Monday but his events were about anything except dealing with the chaos.

What was on Biden's public schedule on Monday?

An event with Kamala Harris talking about their commitment to "safe AI" and giving out Halloween candy. Nothing at all about the hundreds of Americans trapped in Gaza that Hamas wouldn't allow to leave or the American hostages who are being held. Leftists like to call Gaza an "open-air prison," but if it is, it's Hamas who are the jailers, not Israel.

But back to that important duty that Biden had to do -- doling out candy to little kids visiting the White House.

It's bad when he can't even do that without problems.

Jill Biden was dressed as their cat, Willow, which she announced in her typically cringy way.

At least she didn't go as their dog Commander, because he likes to bite people. That might have given people paws.

But then Biden was asked a very deep question: what costume was he wearing?

His costume? Pretending to be a competent leader. It's not a very good costume -- it doesn't fit well.

Then Biden was dropping things, shaking candy at a little kid and bending over like he was 100 years old.

Jill was trying to direct him and get him to stand in the right place, but Biden appeared confused about what he was supposed to do.

Then things started to get weird and gross.

The same guy who chastised the country for not wearing masks started coughing into his hand and then transmitting whatever germs he had to the little kids.

He also stuck a kid's fake plastic ice cream into his mouth, then gave it back to the kid, along with whatever germs he had.

But it's a children's event, so you know Joe Biden is going to Joe Biden. He couldn't resist sniffing and being weird with a child. Why can't he stop doing this?

Because of the bad policies of Bidenomics, Biden has even made Halloween more difficult for people and has made candy much more expensive. Unfortunately, those bad policies will continue to haunt us in so many ways long after Halloween is done.

(10-31-2023 01:03 PM)Eagleyed Wrote:  Why did I automatically assume there must have been traces of crack found in the candy?

Quote:WASHINGTON, D.C. — Parents are encouraged to check their child's Halloween candy haul every year to keep an eye out for razor blades and granola bars, but they didn't have to worry about the treats they'd get from the White House — until now. According to sources, the President and First Lady accidentally handed out fresh-cut bags of cocaine to trick-or-treaters at the South Lawn of the White House instead of candy, endangering both children and poll numbers.

"Dagnabbit, I grabbed the wrong basket again," said a frustrated Biden upon realizing he had already distributed his son Hunter's stash to the entire neighborhood. "Ah well... anyway, prick or preet, kids, have fun!"

Quote:WASHINGTON, D.C. — A lucky young boy who went trick-or-treating at the United States Capitol building came away with $40 billion in candy after dressing up as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

"Jackpot! I knew this costume would pay off big time!" shouted young Tommy Billington after being notified of his candy haul. "All my friends thought I was stupid for dressing up like that Zelensky guy who is always on the news, but now they look like the stupid ones. I've got enough candy to last me 20 lifetimes!"

Billington had arrived early for trick-or-treating in a cardboard mask depicting the Ukrainian President's face. Believing him to be the actual Zelensky due to his short stature, Capitol Police ushered him directly into the corridors of the Capitol to meet with congressional leadership. Within an hour, Billington had been informed he would receive $40 billion worth of candy. "He knows his stuff," said one unnamed member of Congress. "He specifically asked that half of it be in Reese's peanut butter cups, with the remainder being split evenly in Snickers, Twix, KitKat, and Jolly Ranchers. This was identical to a request we had received from President Zelensky last year."

Soon afterward, Billington watched excitedly as Capitol Police officers helped load pallets laden with candy-filled duffle bags onto several large trucks outside the Capitol building. "I'm never wearing a different costume," he said. "Dressed as this Zelensky guy, I can get whatever I want!"

At publishing time, Billington was believed to be on his way to the White House, where he was expected to ask President Biden to pledge an additional $25 billion in candy over the next six months.

(10-31-2023 02:09 PM)MileHighBronco Wrote:  

Quote:WASHINGTON, D.C. — A lucky young boy who went trick-or-treating at the United States Capitol building came away with $40 billion in candy after dressing up as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

"Jackpot! I knew this costume would pay off big time!" shouted young Tommy Billington after being notified of his candy haul. "All my friends thought I was stupid for dressing up like that Zelensky guy who is always on the news, but now they look like the stupid ones. I've got enough candy to last me 20 lifetimes!"

Billington had arrived early for trick-or-treating in a cardboard mask depicting the Ukrainian President's face. Believing him to be the actual Zelensky due to his short stature, Capitol Police ushered him directly into the corridors of the Capitol to meet with congressional leadership. Within an hour, Billington had been informed he would receive $40 billion worth of candy. "He knows his stuff," said one unnamed member of Congress. "He specifically asked that half of it be in Reese's peanut butter cups, with the remainder being split evenly in Snickers, Twix, KitKat, and Jolly Ranchers. This was identical to a request we had received from President Zelensky last year."

Soon afterward, Billington watched excitedly as Capitol Police officers helped load pallets laden with candy-filled duffle bags onto several large trucks outside the Capitol building. "I'm never wearing a different costume," he said. "Dressed as this Zelensky guy, I can get whatever I want!"

At publishing time, Billington was believed to be on his way to the White House, where he was expected to ask President Biden to pledge an additional $25 billion in candy over the next six months.

https://babylonbee.com/news/capitol-tric...n-in-candy