SI: As all of you know, last week Toledo Offensive Coordinator Jason Candle sat down with us after the victory over CMU. He's been gracious enough to agree to an early morning interview, following a big win over rival Bowling Green. For those of you that do not know, Jason and I talk via Skype. Oh, there he is… “Hello Jason, I …. You look a little disheveled this morning. Your shirt appears covered in vomit and are you in hotel room?”
JC: My head is killing me for some reason. Man. Let’s just get this over with this. First of all, we have had a strong week of practice, feel we have strong game plan, and we can’t wait to beat those bastards to the south!!
SI: What? Umm, Jason the game was last night….Toledo won.
JC: Stop speaking in riddles! I don’t know what you…..Wait a minute. That wasn’t a dream?!!! Holy #@!!
SI: What? I’m not following you.
JC: Well, we were up in press box, like usual, before the start of the game. We decided “What the Hell”, and started pouring a shots of tequila early. We were feeling pretty warm by the start of the game, if you know what I mean. Anyway, Bobo our poop flinging play calling monkey got into the hooch. Man, I have never seen a monkey do things like that!!!
SI: Sigh...What about the game…
JC: This is my story! Don’t be rude Peter! Anyway, the Captain Morgan girls finally showed, but they weren’t impressed and wanted to leave. So we were like, “Hey, don’t run off without us!!” Let’s take this party on the road!!?” So we stole one of those golf carts and…
SI: Wait, you left the stadium?
JC: Hell Yeah! I figured so many people complained about my play calling over the last couple of weeks, let’s just see the Rockets win without Jason Candle! Good luck with that jerks!! Anyway, we went down to this place called Ziggy Zoombas. $7 dollar pitchers and beer pong night!!! I got hammered!!! After about the third pitcher, I started watching the game on the big screen and was getting pissed! Toledo was running the ball on first downs and third and shorts. I started screaming, “This is NOT Toledo Football! This IS NOT How We DO IT!” It was like a nightmare!!!! I kept screaming into my headset, but no one was listening…
SI: I see… Did you ever make it back to the game?
JC: Gosh Dang it Peter! Stop interrupting! Well, at halftime they have this Twister competition…
SI: Oh my…
JC: You guessed it. Bobo saw the Twister mats coming out and started flinging poo everywhere! We tried to cover it up and said how the poo matched the school colors, but they kicked us out anyway. We walked down to Barney’s for some Subway, and that’s when Jimmy Petterson walked up…....
SI: I give up...
JC: He’s a grad assistant and he handed me a folded paper, told me it was a special play and then he said the team bus was waiting outside. That was right after he offered me a fizzy drink….He roofied me!!! That was no play, it was a flippin bus ticket!!! What the?! Where am I at?!! What's this placard say? I’m at the Dayton Red Roof Inn?!!! That son of a %$#*!
SI: Well that’s all the time we have today. Time to say so long, and Go Rockets!

You have a gift. LOL! Now that was funny.