And for those who don't get the clogged toilet offense reference .... enjoy this gem:
Running with the Madness, Part II
By Bill Simmons, ESPN
10:45: You know how some offenses have names, like Four Corners, Motion, Flex and so on? Here are the possible names for the offense G-Tech is running today: "Inertia" … "The Diarrhea Motion" … "One Dribbler, Four Watchers" … "Clogged Toilet" …
11:15: Clark Kellogg tells us that G-Tech "has the horses" to catch up to UNLV. "Too bad they don't have the jockey," House says. He's on fire this morning. Maybe the key for House with any running diary is to avoid showering and be as constipated as possible.
11:21: G-Tech threatens to take the lead with 3:32 to play, thanks in no small part to a ghastly 0-for-8 shooting performance from Kevin Kruger (son of Lon). We haven't seen nepotism destroy a college hoops team's NCAA chances like this since the heyday of Saul and Tubby Smith.
11:23: JackO points out that this is a three-apostrophe game: Ra'Sean Dickey and D'Andre Bell for G-Tech, Jo'Van "Wink" Adams for UNLV.
11:26: G-Tech 68, UNLV 67, under three minutes to play. "If they lose this game, Kevin Kruger should change his name to Freddie," House says.
11:28: G-Tech runs the "clogged toilet" offense and gets an airball as the shot clock is expiring. Well done. That's followed by a UNLV bucket (they're up by one, two minutes to play) and G-Tech calling a timeout to set up "inertia." And yes, that was G-Tech's last timeout. I think Doc Rivers needs to hire Paul Hewitt as his bench coach for the Celtics. We need him for the last 20 games of our lottery push.
11:30: Three bricks for UNLV, three offensive rebounds. We're down to 73 seconds, tie game, UNLV ball. Could we be headed for a buzzer-beater???? Back in an hour.
HOUR 3
11:33: UNLV scores a go-ahead layup, followed by G-Tech running "clogged toilet" again and getting a rarely seen five-second dribbling violation to give the ball back to UNLV with 54 seconds to play. You couldn't make this stuff up. Hey, can they fire Paul Hewitt before the game ends, or do they have to wait until the final buzzer?
11:36: Cameroon native Gaston Essengue nails two freebies to put UNLV up by four with 37 seconds to play. Is it just me or is there an inordinate number of Cameroonies in this year's tournament? Cameronites? Cameroons? Camerooners? "It's Google time," JackO happily says.
11:37: The answer: Camerooners.
11:41: G-Tech scores to cut it to two, then fouls UNLV's best FT shooter (Umeh, shooting 83 percent). He sinks both. That's followed by a G-Tech airball, another made free throw with 12.2 seconds left (no timeout because G-Tech doesn't have any), another turnover and two more UNLV free throws. Game time. We should see Paul Hewitt's résumé on Monster.com within the next three hours.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/sto...CAA/daytwo
