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Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet
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Bearcat2012 Offline
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Post: #1
Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet
http://www.sbnation.com/college-football...ball-again

03-lmfao 03-banghead

Offense

Cincinnati's rushing offense ranks ahead of SMU's (negative-8 yards per game and negative-.41 yards per carry through two games).

Vanderbilt (two games) and Cincinnati have the same number of red zone touchdowns.

Cincinnati has as many passing touchdowns as 11 teams, including Hawaii, which has thrown 94 passes.

Eastern Michigan (two games) has only one more 20-yard gain than Cincinnati has, and Fiesta Bowl champ UCF (one game) is among three teams with only one more 10-yard rush than Cincinnati has.

Miami has only three more third-down conversions than Cincinnati does, with 23 attempts in two games.

The Cincinnati offense is the country's most disaster-proof, having avoided any penalties, turnovers, or sacks all season.

Special teams

Cincinnati has converted as many extra points as SMU, which did not get to try after scoring its only touchdown of the year, since it was the last play of a loss.

Through two games, Ole Miss has three more kick return yards than Cincinnati has, and three teams have gathered no return yardage.

Cincinnati's punt return unit has gained more yardage than five teams, including Clemson and Wisconsin. And SMU. SMU is all over the place here.

Cincinnati has booted as many touchbacks as five teams, including a combined 23 tries by New Mexico State and Wisconsin.

Cincinnati has given up no special teams touchdowns or allowed any return yardage of any sort or done anything bad at all.

Defense

Cincinnati has forced as many turnovers as 11 teams, including Michigan, which so far this year has finished its rivalries with Appalachian State and Notre Dame.

Cincinnati has sacked as many quarterbacks as two other teams who have sacked no quarterbacks. I do not know who those teams are.

Cincinnati's defense ranks as the best of all time through two weeks, as it has given up no yards.
 
09-08-2014 01:13 PM
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Flying Bearcat Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet
(09-08-2014 01:13 PM)Bearcat2012 Wrote:  http://www.sbnation.com/college-football...ball-again

03-lmfao 03-banghead

Offense

Cincinnati's rushing offense ranks ahead of SMU's (negative-8 yards per game and negative-.41 yards per carry through two games).

Vanderbilt (two games) and Cincinnati have the same number of red zone touchdowns.

Cincinnati has as many passing touchdowns as 11 teams, including Hawaii, which has thrown 94 passes.

Eastern Michigan (two games) has only one more 20-yard gain than Cincinnati has, and Fiesta Bowl champ UCF (one game) is among three teams with only one more 10-yard rush than Cincinnati has.

Miami has only three more third-down conversions than Cincinnati does, with 23 attempts in two games.

The Cincinnati offense is the country's most disaster-proof, having avoided any penalties, turnovers, or sacks all season.

Special teams

Cincinnati has converted as many extra points as SMU, which did not get to try after scoring its only touchdown of the year, since it was the last play of a loss.

Through two games, Ole Miss has three more kick return yards than Cincinnati has, and three teams have gathered no return yardage.

Cincinnati's punt return unit has gained more yardage than five teams, including Clemson and Wisconsin. And SMU. SMU is all over the place here.

Cincinnati has booted as many touchbacks as five teams, including a combined 23 tries by New Mexico State and Wisconsin.

Cincinnati has given up no special teams touchdowns or allowed any return yardage of any sort or done anything bad at all.

Defense

Cincinnati has forced as many turnovers as 11 teams, including Michigan, which so far this year has finished its rivalries with Appalachian State and Notre Dame.

Cincinnati has sacked as many quarterbacks as two other teams who have sacked no quarterbacks. I do not know who those teams are.

Cincinnati's defense ranks as the best of all time through two weeks, as it has given up no yards.

It is always moments like this that make me think that us fans would be better off covering our own teams than the people who write articles about them.
 
09-08-2014 01:20 PM
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geef Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet
I think it was hilarious, and obviously tongue-in-cheek.

(09-08-2014 01:20 PM)Flying Bearcat Wrote:  
(09-08-2014 01:13 PM)Bearcat2012 Wrote:  http://www.sbnation.com/college-football...ball-again

03-lmfao 03-banghead

Offense

Cincinnati's rushing offense ranks ahead of SMU's (negative-8 yards per game and negative-.41 yards per carry through two games).

Vanderbilt (two games) and Cincinnati have the same number of red zone touchdowns.

Cincinnati has as many passing touchdowns as 11 teams, including Hawaii, which has thrown 94 passes.

Eastern Michigan (two games) has only one more 20-yard gain than Cincinnati has, and Fiesta Bowl champ UCF (one game) is among three teams with only one more 10-yard rush than Cincinnati has.

Miami has only three more third-down conversions than Cincinnati does, with 23 attempts in two games.

The Cincinnati offense is the country's most disaster-proof, having avoided any penalties, turnovers, or sacks all season.

Special teams

Cincinnati has converted as many extra points as SMU, which did not get to try after scoring its only touchdown of the year, since it was the last play of a loss.

Through two games, Ole Miss has three more kick return yards than Cincinnati has, and three teams have gathered no return yardage.

Cincinnati's punt return unit has gained more yardage than five teams, including Clemson and Wisconsin. And SMU. SMU is all over the place here.

Cincinnati has booted as many touchbacks as five teams, including a combined 23 tries by New Mexico State and Wisconsin.

Cincinnati has given up no special teams touchdowns or allowed any return yardage of any sort or done anything bad at all.

Defense

Cincinnati has forced as many turnovers as 11 teams, including Michigan, which so far this year has finished its rivalries with Appalachian State and Notre Dame.

Cincinnati has sacked as many quarterbacks as two other teams who have sacked no quarterbacks. I do not know who those teams are.

Cincinnati's defense ranks as the best of all time through two weeks, as it has given up no yards.

It is always moments like this that make me think that us fans would be better off covering our own teams than the people who write articles about them.
 
09-08-2014 01:31 PM
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Bearcats#1 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet
lol love this
 
09-08-2014 02:35 PM
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