RE: The Wire, Unions, and Poison Ivy
Back in the mid-80's when I was a wee lad, I got a hold of a machete. It was part of a 4 piece decorative knife set my dad brought back from a business trip to the Philippines.
This was back in the day when the best toys where still little green army men, and I was using the machete to cut them up. I placed the poor dudes on a wicker basket and hacked away at the army men with the machete.
One blow glanced off the side of the basket, and buried itself in my knee all the way to the bone. As in there it is, my kneecap!
There really was very little blood, and little to no pain. Probably some combination of a clean cut to the bone, and shock.
At the time, my mom was out of the apartment somewhere, and my dad was at work. The only person at home was my little sister and our Amah, (maid) who took one look at me and screamed.
This is of course way, way before cell phones so she tries my dad at work with no luck. She next tried our friends upstairs, and they are home and come down. It's a family from New Zealand whose father works at the Embassy as the Military Attache. He's half white, half Maori and may have been pushing 6.5' ,250lbs. Our Amah had wrapped my leg in dishtowels, so he hauls me downstairs to his Embassy car - a beautiful late 70's Mercedes fintail - and we hightailed it over to the Hospital. Many many years later, after this guy retired, we found out that he was one of the top covert spies in NZ intelligence and had received many medals for his contributions to the Commonwealth.
By that time, my dad had been located and he met us at the hospital. The doctor was a tiny Indian man, and he was able to put his ENTIRE HAND into the wound, the check it out. It was that swollen. The cut is pretty clean, their is a small V-shaped wedge out of my knee, and some tendons are severed and had retreated back into me leg.
After surgery, I find out it took almost 70 stitches to put me back together. 10 for the tendons, 30 for the first layer inside my leg, 30 for the skin layer at the top. I had a crotch to ankle cast for an entire summer. Even today the scar is 6 inches long and 1/2 wide, pink as you know what, and still gets a lot of comments.
Mostly I tell people I was attacked by German Shepard guard dogs, or bit by an alligator.
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