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LeftMemphisTiger Offline
2nd String

Posts: 341
Joined: Nov 2003
Reputation: 7
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Post: #1
:crying: :crying: :crying:

Here is a followup to this post. This is the writer responding to Ole Piss fan's anger at him. Funny stuff....

<a href='http://www.postherald.com/sp050705.shtml' target='_blank'>http://www.postherald.com/sp050705.shtml</a>

Readers points out where I was wrong

I have learned the error of my ways, and I have e-mail to thank for it.

Last Tuesday I wrote a column about new Ole Miss football coach Ed Orgeron. I mentioned some of his past brushes with the law and how I didn't think he'd win in Oxford.

This column was not received well by many people who reside in the 228, 662 and 601 area codes.

Since I'm a nice little feller who wants to be loved by everyone, I offer up today's column as a way to make amends for my transgressions. Let me say that, upon further review, I think Orgeron will go down as the greatest football coach who ever lived, leading the Rebels to eight of the next nine national championships.

The only year it won't happen will be the 2009 season, when the BCS — in a bizarre move — awards the crown to a 6-6 Florida Atlantic team, even though the Rebs are 14-0 and in the midst of a 70-game winning streak.

Why the change of heart? Because I was called to the carpet, and now my face has carpet burns.

Here's a sampling of some e-mails and my humble responses:

"...after having read your article, it is apparent you would not comprehend the words being displayed to you across the page. Is it a long flight to your world or do you just drive there?"

Actually, I take the bus. Not only does it help the environment, but I tend to get distracted by shiny objects when I drive.

"...So get your facts straight, (expletive deleted). I bet you never even played sports in high school. You sound like a dork with taped eyeglasses. Give the truth to the people, not distorted facts. You are one hell of an (expletive deleted). Around the bowl and in the hole. Roll Tide Roll! Alabama (stinks)."

Actually I did play sports in high school. On the other hand, I am a dork and, in fact, wear taped eyeglasses.

"...I can only assume your views are tainted because your head is firmly embedded in Tommy Tuberville's (rear)."

I knew I left it somewhere.

"Going out on a limb would require more thought and I'm going out on a limb thinking that's not your forte."

What's a forte?

"Oh, I get it. You're just one of those Alabama journalist/liars that compose lies & half truths to sell newspapers and to make a name for yourself."

Now that one hurt. While I majored in journalism and minored in lying, I was only able to get an associate's degree in half truths. Fortunately I don't have to make a name for myself because Mom and Pop gave me one shortly after I was born.

"You are a joke, a complete joke. If you are a sports anything I am the King of England."

I was flattered by this e-mail because I've never corresponded with royalty. Well, I think I made a prank call to Camilla Parker-Bowles once, but that was before she became Camilla Parker-Bowles, Duchess of Cornwall, so it might not count.

Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who e-mailed their thoughts, which are too numerous to mention here.

I had hoped to get around to the e-mails that called me a geek, weenie, moron, hayseed, jackleg, pseudo-writer and pond scum, but there is only so much space in our section.

Still, I'm pleased that readers were able to get everything off their chest and that I was able to provide a humble, heartfelt apology to Orgeron, Ole Miss, the state of Mississippi, the cities of Tupelo, Oxford and Biloxi, and all those who have ever wandered through the Grove on a crisp fall Saturday and scoped out the fine scenery.

And just remember — the Rebels open their season Monday, Sept. 5, when they travel to Memphis to take on the Tigers (and win the game, 347-0).

It's going to be the beginning of something great ...

Easy Writer appears Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday in the Birmingham Post-Herald.
05-10-2005 08:13 PM
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