Good Evening, eminent powers of athletics. If you can suffer the miserable bleatings of a Southern Miss fan for just a moment, I need help finding the exact wording of a quote uttered by Norm Sloan. He said it (I think) when he left that mighty citadel of learning of which I am unworthy of speaking, NC State, for that other palisade of excellence of which I dare not think, Florida.

Coach Sloan said something like "You want to get invited to the dance, and you get all dressed up and everyone says you look good, but you never get invited. Eventually, you wonder if the whole thing is even worth your time. That's where I'm at today."

Of course, my crude attempt to paraphrase the actual words of this giant has no doubt disappointed and offended the august readers here, and I apologize. I am a crude organ for the communication of the sentiments of this great man, and I apologize.

I also apologize for wasting your time. I am but a poor graduate of a school that has proven incapable of selling truly massive quantities of baseball caps, and for that I apologize with all my heart (which is smaller than Doug Flutie's giant heart, who I am also much shorter than.)