Quote:Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal the election, again, we've
decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country,
and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the Slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you finally get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti- war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your neocons.

They apparently are willing to overlook Jesus' peaceful "turn the other cheek" tenet and send their children to their deaths for oil, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of

America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, UCLA, Berkeley and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have
to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

--Blue States

Note to Blue States, I hear that Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Alaska will charge an export tariff to the blue states for gasoline, natural gas. It will be confiscatory, but since you're no longer part of the United States and have no refineries, they can afford to do that. Drilling on that Atlantic shelf will start looking real good about then. And you can put a pipeline from California, there's that small problem of the San Andreas fault. So, good luck with that. Maybe you could merge with Canada? They seem like your kind of people.

EastStang Wrote:Note to Blue States, I hear that Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Alaska will charge an export tariff to the blue states for gasoline, natural gas. It will be confiscatory, but since you're no longer part of the United States and have no refineries, they can afford to do that. Drilling on that Atlantic shelf will start looking real good about then. And you can put a pipeline from California, there's that small problem of the San Andreas fault. So, good luck with that. Maybe you could merge with Canada? They seem like your kind of people.

Who needs oil and gas when you've got alternative energy sources.
In ten years, we'll be free from foreign oil.

I'm pretty sure the companies like Microsoft (or, well, any profitable business) would flee the Socialist state to avoid 75%+ taxes (or at least outsource their job).

Boy, I'm really nervous about our pineapple and lettuce supply being cut off.

Think about the GDP of blue states vs. the GDP of red states. It's not even close. Then you red state policies starting to have a detrimental effect on the blue states. It's time for a change.

I have been long saying there is a war on Middle America.

So called "Blue States" think they are doing so well...but it's only b/c they take resources from the "Red States".

Harvard? Good luck w/ Baltimore, Philly and Los Angeles students. W/o decent midwestern schools, Harvard will soon be Cambridge Community College.

Stem Cell research? Not w/o Middle America's taxes to pay the NIH.

Microsoft? Try living in a CAD drawing of a house. It's the manufacturing that goes on in "Red States" that people still need to live.

Dear blue states if you want to break it down county by county across the U.S. then you have got a deal

We will even extend the courtesy of open borders so you can drive or fly to visit each other at your convenience.

Signed Red counties

The problem is that the blue states will have no oil or guns to fight the red states. Red states do need to pay their fare share of taxes. California gets $.78 for every $1.00 sent to washington. Mississppi gets $1.81, Arkansas gets $1.54. Let's dump these welfare states.

Does anyone care to guess where the illegal aliens and drug dealers will flock to?

cb4029 Wrote:Who needs oil and gas when you've got alternative energy sources.

You might want to check a map and see where the viable wind and solar areas of the country are.

How about this, we split the country between liberals and conservatives. BUT, your conservatives move to the south or Midwest and you take our liberal leeches.

Cool?

As for schools, I think we'll do just fine. We have schools in the South that match anything up north, maybe with the exception of the date of their charter.

smn1256 Wrote:Does anyone care to guess where the illegal aliens and drug dealers will flock to?

Whatever, you figure it out, Blue states only have to deal with California. Red states have Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and Florida.

firmbizzle Wrote:

smn1256 Wrote:Does anyone care to guess where the illegal aliens and drug dealers will flock to?

Whatever, you figure it out, Blue states only have to deal with California. Red states have Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and Florida.

yes but us in the red states can organize the militia and go hunt the drug dealers. have a nice day.

Interesting map. I suspect it will look a little different in 2008 - it looks like quite a few states had just one or two counties at most that voted blue in 2004. And what's that little corridor of north-to-south blue - is that basically along the Mississippi River?? Maybe it's something in the water.

As far as some of the other points of this thread, there is some very funny stuff, but c'mon now, the one stat I refuse to believe is that 88 percent of obese Americans are in red states. Are you saying there aren't any fatsos in California, New York, New Jersey, Michigan, Illinois, etc.?? At best, it's got to be 60-40 chunkies, red states over blue.

ShoreBuc Wrote:Dear blue states if you want to break it down county by county across the U.S. then you have got a deal

We will even extend the courtesy of open borders so you can drive or fly to visit each other at your convenience.

Signed Red counties

Fort Bend Owl Wrote:Interesting map. I suspect it will look a little different in 2008 - it looks like quite a few states had just one or two counties at most that voted blue in 2004. And what's that little corridor of north-to-south blue - is that basically along the Mississippi River?? Maybe it's something in the water.

It's the delta. The delta's always been majority black.

Rebel Wrote:

Fort Bend Owl Wrote:Interesting map. I suspect it will look a little different in 2008 - it looks like quite a few states had just one or two counties at most that voted blue in 2004. And what's that little corridor of north-to-south blue - is that basically along the Mississippi River?? Maybe it's something in the water.

It's the delta. The delta's always been majority black.

Ahh, the black water is what makes them vote democrat. Looks like this black water has made it back from Iraq and infiltrated America.

firmbizzle Wrote:Ahh, the black water is what makes them vote democrat. Looks like this black water has made it back from Iraq and infiltrated America.

WTF? He was asking why it was so blue. I explained it to him. Black people are, by proportion, huge supporters of Democrats.

Anymore brainbusters, light brite?

Now, here's a question for you....assuming you know any f'n thing about the Delta, why has their plight gotten worse and worse over the years while they continue to vote Democrat?

Did anyone else catch that wierd INDIE film which was What if the South had won the Civil War and somehow gobbled up the Northern States except those that merged with Canada, called "CSA"? It rewrote American History and basically slavery was abolished in like the 1960's. The interspersed the "documentary" with pseudo-racist commercials. It was very strange. This thread sort of reminds me of that movie for some reason.

Slavery would have been abolished well before 1960. Slavery wasn't around for social stature. They had them to work and bring in money. After the cotton gin and mechanization, slaves would have eventually become liabilities instead of assets.

Maybe. I used to think that. But, the way it looks now, we have psuedo-slavery going on with all of the illegal aliens flooding our country and working for peanuts.

The future impact of unchecked immigration is going to make this "financial crisis" look like a day at the beach. And nobody's talking about it, except maybe Lou Dobbs.