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missjtiger Offline
KOKO'S MOMMA/D.J.'S MOMS
Jersey Retired

Posts: 34,190
Joined: Feb 2004
Reputation: 1478
I Root For: MEMPHIS TIGERS
Location: Olive Branch MS

Crappies
Post: #1
true story
This is a true story. If you have children you will
> probably relate to this father.)
>
>
> As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of
> ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of
> expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
>
>
> The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it
> to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands,
> but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
>
>
> 'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get
> my sandwich,' she said.
> I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder
> and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed
> a streak of mustard
> on my fingers.
> I love mustard.
> I had no napkin.
> I licked it off.
> It was not mustard.
> No man ever put a baby down faster.
> It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
> tongue protruding out.
> With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of
> routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
> Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard,
> my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy
> mustard 'Poupon.''

03-lmfao
08-11-2008 03:29 PM
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georgiatiger Offline
Axel
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Posts: 29,350
Joined: Jun 2004
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Donators
Post: #2
RE: true story
You're such a dork.
08-11-2008 04:44 PM
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J-villeTiger Offline
Special Teams
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Posts: 901
Joined: Sep 2007
Reputation: 61
I Root For: Memphis
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Post: #3
RE: true story
missjtiger Wrote:This is a true story. If you have children you will
> probably relate to this father.)
>
>
> As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of
> ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of
> expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
>
>
> The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it
> to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands,
> but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
>
>
> 'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get
> my sandwich,' she said.
> I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder
> and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed
> a streak of mustard
> on my fingers.
> I love mustard.
> I had no napkin.
> I licked it off.
> It was not mustard.
> No man ever put a baby down faster.
> It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
> tongue protruding out.
> With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of
> routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
> Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard,
> my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy
> mustard 'Poupon.''

03-lmfao

Now tell us why they call you a peon...........05-stirthepot
08-11-2008 05:54 PM
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tigergirljenn Offline
1st String
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Posts: 1,370
Joined: Feb 2008
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I Root For: MEMPHIS
Location: Olive Branch,MS
Post: #4
RE: true story
That happened to me once. My son was 8 weeks and I was eating a hot dog. Only I was smart enough to smell my hand first!03-lmfao
08-11-2008 06:01 PM
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J-villeTiger Offline
Special Teams
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Posts: 901
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I Root For: Memphis
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Post: #5
RE: true story
tigergirljenn Wrote:I was eating a hot dog.

pics please........TIA
08-11-2008 06:13 PM
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covingtontiger Offline
Heisman
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Posts: 7,163
Joined: Oct 2006
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I Root For: Memphis Tigers
Location: T -County

Donators
Post: #6
RE: true story
tigergirljenn Wrote:That happened to me once. My son was 8 weeks and I was eating a hot dog. Only I was smart enough to smell my hand first!03-lmfao

Sounds like mamas are smarter than daddies when it comes to this type stuff.
08-11-2008 07:18 PM
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mairving Offline
Ignant Homer
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Posts: 28,603
Joined: Nov 2007
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I Root For: Memphis
Location: MediocreVille
Post: #7
RE: true story
Mine is worse than that. My wife had made brownies. There were some big crumbs left on the counter so I grabbed one and popped it in my mouth. It turned out not to be a brownie but the umbilical cord that had just come out of my sons navel.
08-11-2008 08:49 PM
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tigerloyal Offline
Hall of Famer
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Posts: 18,307
Joined: Feb 2004
Reputation: 120
I Root For: Memphis Tigers!
Location:

CrappiesCrappiesDonators
Post: #8
RE: true story
I have just learned not to read these threads when your sick with a cold and have a lot of drainage!
These are some sick stories! lol
08-11-2008 09:16 PM
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