There have been two other local resolutions like this.

But none to make me King. What the he11 is the matter with our legislators?

Pitt,

I don't know about JC, but in Knoxville you can get the mayor to proclaim just about anything by sending the text to the city's resolution office (yes, there actually is one).

I've had special days created for different things over the years and the mayor will show up, open the scroll, and declare it __________ Day in Knoxville.

I think we should put Lover in charge of this. Lover: my suggestion would be to begin the resolution with:

"Let it be known to all Johnson Citians and those who trod the soil of our fair city. That this day (you pick the date - Pitt's birthday would be nice) is hear-by declared, in the city of Johnson City, Tennessee, as PITT DAY."

Has a ring to it. Of course, 90% of the citizens will think it's in honor of George Pitts, but that's a trivial matter.

You're on the right path- but consider what I will do as King of Tennessee.

The first thing I will do is utilize the Tennessee National Guard. I will use them to fetch me the fair Vanessa Kay in California so I can make her my wife.

Now, all these politicians who make highway beautification bills really won't have a leg to stand on, will they? I mean, there is nothing that would improve the beauty of Tennessee more than bringing Vanessa Kay here.

Now, after this we can get a few projects started, using Tennessee's natural resources.

Here we go-

A- Send Dolly Parton on tour to speak on the evils of breast reduction surgery.

B- Have a "Headbangers Ball" wing of the Grand Ole Opry.

C- Paint all Highway Patrol cars like "The General Lee."

D- Start a campaign in schools to eliminate the overuse of hyphenating words.

E- Get the top professors out of Vanderbilt and into Roan Mountain WHERE THEY NEED THEM!!!!! Splitting the atom can go on hold. Those people there can't even read!

F- Start selling perogies and Iron City in EVERY supermarket.

G- Replace the "Tennessee Waltz" as the official state song with "You Shook Me All Night Long."

H- Torture Rod Shaw while I eat since he once wanted to call me "Caligula." Further his suffering by having theposterformerlyknownasthedoctor treat his wounds.

I- Make Bruce Pearl move to Indiana. Just so I'll never have to hear you bring that up again.

J- Surround myself with sycophants who think it is actually impressive that I can recite the alphabet through its first 10 letters.

I think we can safely say that all our lives would be much better if I was the head of a monarchy overseeing this state.

After all, you see what I've done with this board!

If we were still in the Southern Conference we would still have SOUTHERN CONFERENCE TALENT. The fact of the matter is we've recruited to the conference we're in, and it shows. Last year's team would have been blown out of the gym by the 9-17 Southern team, James Anthony would have looked like a lottery pick against this year's group, and honestly, could Kevin Tiggs guard Dillion Sneed? Could Andrew have stopped Nuckles? The talent level of the basketball team has gone WAAAY down.

posterformerlyknownasthedoctor Wrote:What if..........

ETSU had still been in the SoCon this year..........

How bad, considering ETSU's woeful attempts to guard against the 3-ball, would it have been? I'm guessing something like 128-71, Davidson, with Curry going for 67 or so........
And yes, I'm kidding.......maybe........
Actually it's not hard at all to imagine him hanging a 50+ pt. game on ETSU.

Kind of like many, many people predicted, unfortunately.