Since we aren't allowed to discuss this **** on the UNC board I figure we will talk about him here.

Commense public flogging NOW!

Okay, Dean Smith and Phil Ford were in Four Corners one evening discussing great games of the past, ex-Tarheel All-Americans, and the magic of Chapel Hill. The waitress came by and asked what they wanted to drink. They both said beer. Then Dean said, "You know Phil, if we're both drinking beer, we ought to just get a pitcher." Phil thought a minute and said, "Good idea! Hey waitress, two pitchers!"

<img border="0" alt="[Cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/cheers.gif" />

Best sign seen in Cameron circa 1996

"Hey Trish(Ford's Wife), who's the best penetrating guard?" <img border="0" alt="[Laughing]" title="" src="graemlins/laughing.gif" />

I had a sign in 96-97 that read "Who's driving the Ford now?" The LJVM nazis didn't like that one much!

One day Dean Smith was sick and was unable to attend practice. Phil Ford had to act as head coach for the day. Before practice, Phil asked the team if anyone had anything to confess. Dean, being the family oriented person he was, had a team rule that if you confessed to a sin before anyone found out, the punishment would be much less severe. King Rice blurted out, "I punched my girlfriend last night." Phil said, "Okay King, that will be two laps. Start running." Brian Reese then said, "I skipped my 9:00 class this morning." Phil said, "You what? This is THE University of North Carolina! You don't skip class here. Who do you think we are, NC State? Twenty laps! Start running." Then Rick Fox said, "I got a blowjob last night." Phil looked puzzled and paused for a moment. "Blowjob, blowjob, blowjob" he said as he thought and scratched his head. Just then Johnny the towelboy walked by. Phil said, "Hey Johnny, what does Dean give for a blowjob." Johnny said with a smile, "Two twinkies and a Pepsi!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

BOOM!

How does Phil Ford change a light bulb?

He grabs on to the bulb and drinks 'til the room starts spinning. <img border="0" alt="[Cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/cheers.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/cheers.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[drinky]" title="" src="graemlins/drinky.gif" />

Phil Ford was driving Dean to the game when a state trooper pulled them over. The trooper said, "Mr. Ford, I clocked you at 85 MPH." "No way officer," Phil replied, "You must be wrong." So the trooper showed him the radar gun flashing 85. "There is no way I was speeding," Phil said,"the radar gun must be broken." "Listen fella," the trooper begins. Just then Dean leans over and says, "Don't argue with him officer, he's always this stubborn when he's been drinking."

The Phil Ford Basketball Lexicon:

Lane Violation - Crossing the double yellow line.

No look Pass - Passing a vehicle with one eye closed.

Assist - Help back on to your bar stool.

Bucket - Beer serving at Blimpie's.

Double Dribble - Beer stains on your pants AND shirt.

Time Out - Pee break.

Four Corners - a Chapel Hill pub.

Final Four - drinks after last call.

March Madness - Attending happy hour every day in March.

Floor Burn - What Mrs. Ford got while hanging with jeff McInnis.

ROTFLMAO!!!

oh man....you guys show no mercy! <img border="0" alt="[Laughing]" title="" src="graemlins/laughing.gif" />

Always great to see people taking stabs at The Foot.

One dark, rainy night on I-85 between Chapel Hill and Durham, Phil Ford and Johnny Dawkins got into a nasty head on auto collision. Miraculously, neither was injured even though both cars were totaled. They got out and exchanged insurance information and Phil commented, "You know Johnny, there's so much hatred between us, our schools, our teams. Well, I think it's time we both realize that all that doesn't matter anymore. What's important is that we're both alive." They both break into tears and hug for a good five minutes. Johnny said, "You're right, I think this calls for a celebration." He goes back to his mangled trunk and pulls out an unopened bottle of "Old Crow" whiskey. "A toast!", Johnny exclaimed as he handed Phil the bottle. Phil downs nearly 3/4 of the bottle in one sip, then hands it back to Johnny. Johnny screws the cap back on the bottle and throws it into the woods. "What's the matter, don't you want some?", Phil asks. Johnny says laughing, "No, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up." <img border="0" alt="[drinky]" title="" src="graemlins/drinky.gif" />

<small>[ April 01, 2002, 11:49 AM: Message edited by: Big Pimpin Deac ]</small>

How can you tell if a Carolina student is a virgin?

He can outrun his roommate!

A classic...

A Duke student, an NCSU student, and a Carolina student are walking along the beach and come across a lantern. One of the students picks it up, and a Genie pops out. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Blue Devil says, "I am studying to be a doctor. My father was a doctor, and my son will also be a doctor. I want a nice doctor's office so I can treat all the people in the area. With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM', the doctor's building appeared with all the latest medical technology. The Carolina student was amazed, and so he said, "Our town is a wonderful town, the best town in the world. I want a wall around Chapel Hill so that no one else can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF', there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill. The NCSU student asks the Genie: "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, and nothing can get in or out. Now, what is your wish?" The NCSU student says, "Fill it up with water."

Once again, nice to see the ABC crowd in full bloom....

-JD

Have fun on that sinking ship JD! <img border="0" alt="[wave]" title="" src="graemlins/wave.gif" />

"Sinking" right back to the top of the ACC!

-JD

I must have missed something. When did Carolina get back on top? <img border="0" alt="[bang]" title="" src="graemlins/banghead.gif" />

Dude, you guys are already at the top in soccer. I think that's about all you can expect.

Didn't mean "top" in that we will be undisputed leaders of the ACC. I meant "top" in that we will be among the top teams in the league, along with Duke, Maryland, etc.

And, I fully expect that we will at least be passing Wake on the way up -- what with 4 of your top 5 scorers leaving after this year, and 3 top 10 recruits coming in for us.

Y'all had great games against us in football and basketball this past year, and I commend you for that. If I were you, I wouldn't be so optimistic about both sports next year, though.

Sorry I broke up the party. You can recommence your Carolina-bashing now....

-JD

Why wouldn't we be optimistic? We will be better in football than we were last year. You guys will not. In basketball, we may lose a lot. So do you. Also, we have a good recruiting class coming in, too. We will just keep ours intact for more than one year. Do I guarantee we will beat you guys? No. Do I think we have as good a chance as last year or better? Yes. In the meantime, it's almost summer. Cheers! <img border="0" alt="[Cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/cheers.gif" />