One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, " DUKE."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

A blonde Dook co-ed took a summer job in a department store. But, she had a terrible time figuring the pricing and in-store discount programs. Time and again, the department manager explained it to her, but she just didn't get it.

Finally, in exasperation the manager said: "Look, I'll make it simple. If I were to give you $1000, less a 10% discount, how much would you take off?"

The co-ed thought a moment, then said: "Everything but my earrings!"

Here's an oldie but goodie:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">(AP)Durham, NC
Duke football practice was delayed for nearly two hours on Wednesday.

One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the team would not likely encounter the substance again.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-JD

I knew this thread was still around. Here's one I saw over on the Tar Pit this morning: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The Duke football office just announced that with the opening game fast approaching that they are closing all future practices.

They want to simulate game conditions. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img border="0" alt="[laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/laughing.gif" />

-JD

Here are two more:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The Durham Herald is reporting this morning that two of the Duke playbooks were
stolen. Carl Franks is very upset. He hadn't finished coloring them.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">and </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Announcement from P.A. system at Wallace Wade Stadium:

Will the parents who lost your eleven kids here at the stadium please come get
them? They are leading the Blue Devils 21-0.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-JD

Yeah, but I heard the kids got bored and left the field. Three plays later Dook scored!