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How To Deal With Terrorists, by GENERAL PERSHING
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OregonGamecock Offline
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Post: #1
 
Too bad General Pershing is not alive today...

John J. Pershing:
Born September 13th, 1860 near Laclede, MO
Education West Point.
1891 Professor of Military Science and Tactics University of Nebraska
1898 Serves in the Spanish-American War
1901 Promoted Captain
1906 Promoted Brigadier General
1909 Military Governor of Moro Province, Philippines
1916 Promoted Major General
1919 Promoted General of the Armies
1921 Appointed Chief of Staff
1924 Retired from active duty
Died: July 15th, 1948 in Washington, D.C.

Just before World War I, there were a number of terrorist attacks on the United States forces in the Philippines by; you guessed it, Muslim extremists.

So General Pershing captured 50 of these Muslim terrorists and had them tied to posts execution style. He then had his men bring in two pigs and had the pigs slaughtered in front of the horrified terrorists.

The important thing to note is that Muslims detest pork because they believe pigs are filthy animals. Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't even touch pigs at all, nor any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from paradise (and those 72 virgins) and doomed to hell.

The soldiers then soaked their bullets in the pigs blood, and proceeded to execute 49 of the 50 terrorists with these pig blood soaked bullets, by firing squad.

The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the 49 terrorist's bodies and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc.

They let the 50th man go.

And for the next forty-two years, there was not a single Muslim extremist attack anywhere in the world.
05-05-2003 07:45 PM
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RochesterFalcon Offline
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Post: #2
 
Why was General Pershing in the Phillipines in the first place?

(I don't think he's Filipino).



<!--EDIT|RochesterFalcon|May 6 2003, 07:56 AM-->
05-06-2003 07:49 AM
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OregonGamecock Offline
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RochesterFalcon Wrote:Why was General Pershing in the Phillipines in the first place?

(I don't think he's Filipino).
Come on, that is the best LIBERAL crying that you can do.........
05-06-2003 09:42 AM
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georgia_tech_swagger Offline
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SkunkworksFolding@NCAAbbsNCAAbbs LUGCrappies
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I have found a new idol!

04-bow
05-06-2003 05:53 PM
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T-Monay820 Offline
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Sounds kinda like the Sioux. Any people the captured they always would let one go, just barely alive and usually mutilated, to tell the tale. The others they sealed up inside of dieing, not yet dead, and diseased cows.
05-06-2003 06:05 PM
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RochesterFalcon Offline
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Post: #6
 
What happened at the trial?
05-06-2003 06:56 PM
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