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10MAN Offline
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Crappies
Post: #1
 
The Men's View
--------------
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping
06-11-2003 02:43 PM
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TJRocket Offline
All American
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Posts: 3,515
Joined: Aug 2002
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I Root For: Toledo Rockets
Location: Toledo, Ohio

Crappies
Post: #2
 
Good stuff 10MAN 04-cheers 04-cheers
06-11-2003 02:50 PM
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Tasha Offline
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Post: #3
 
Quote:1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.


Well that goes for me too. It's not just men. :girl:

Tasha
06-11-2003 03:10 PM
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Laettners Legacy Offline
Heisman
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Posts: 8,863
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I Root For: Duke Blue Devil
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Post: #4
 
04-rock
06-11-2003 11:32 PM
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UTLAW Offline
Special Teams
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Posts: 711
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Post: #5
 
04-bow 04-bow 04-bow 04-bow
06-12-2003 09:09 AM
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CMichFan Offline
Moderator
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Posts: 7,670
Joined: May 2002
Reputation: 19
I Root For: CMU
Location: SE Michigan

Crappies
Post: #6
 
04-cheers :laugh:
06-12-2003 09:40 PM
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