In the past five weeks or so I've been seeing a really nice girl, and I can tell that a potential long-term relationship is brewing.
After the initial three or four dates several weeks ago, we began spending the nights at one another's homes.
Since her home is rather untidy compared to mine, and because I live in closer proximity to both of our workplaces, lately she's been spending an awful amount of time at my house.
She's been spending so much time at the house that some of her things have made a permanent resting place in my home, i.e. brassieres and shoes.
She has so many freakin bras at my house, that they are beginning to take over.
Coming home on my lunch hour the other day, I walked the dog, returned and flipped on C-SPAN as I do on most days. I had stepped into a puddle when walking 'Sucka' and got my shoes and socks wet, so I went into my chest-of-drawers to get a clean pair of socks. When I opened the drawer where socks and underwear belong, lo and behold the contents of the drawer were inundated with brassieres.
All shapes and sizes were in the drawer. She had the blue bras, the black ones, the ones with shoulder straps and the ones without. There were white bras, sport bras, extra support bras (whatever the hell that is).
Now my new gal has a nice rack, don't get me wrong. I'm very appreciative of her rack, actually.
Well today was the last freakin' straw. I walked into the bathroom to take a leak and my gawd, all these freakin' brassieres were hanging up all over the gawd-durned shower rod. It looked like a friggen lingerie factory in there.
Bras are the craziest of undergarments. I mean, you can't fold the friggen things, can't throw them in the dryer--they have to be air-dryed.
The point is, she can only wear one at once, so why does she need so many friggen bras? She only spends the night about four/five times a week and two of those days are usually weekends. Why the heck does she bring so many dad-gummed brassieres over?
It's getting ridiculous and 'Sucka' was playing with one when I went home for lunch today. He thinks the durn things are doggie toys.
I've been to her house and she has ample room and space to find a home for her bras. She also has one of those nifty clothes racks to dry bras, panties and sweaters on.
Bras are one thing, I mean, I'm stoked to be worrying about the great bra invasion of my peaceful home. If I weren't then obviously I would be stroking and caressing those wonderful breasts[tuhsus] of hers.
Another thing I've noticed, moreover, is all her friggen shoes. She's got a gosh-durned different shoe for every freaking occasion.
She also has this nifty shoe-rack that hangs from the inside of a closet door. Well, the shoe-rack has made it to my house and it's loaded with shoes. She's got so many friggen pairs of shoes, the rack is full and now I can't find one of my three pairs of shoes because hers are all over the freakin' closet floor.
Like the brassiere, she can only wear one pair of shoes at a time. She goes to work wearing her heels, or flats and she comes home at 5 or 6 wearing the same pair. Why does she need so many extraneous pairs of shoes?
One could say 'well maybe there'll be a special occasion and she'll need to coordinate her shoes to match her outfit.' That doesn't fly because all we usually do is work, eat, play with the dog, play with each other, watch C-SPAN and do bong-rips while sucking down cold brews.
We rarely go anywhere other than the weekly out-to-dinner type of thing, yet she's got a thousand pairs of shoes at my house and I don't know why!
It's been a while since I've gotten serious with someone because I spend a good 75-80 hours a week at work. Before working at my current employ, I was a much older college student making roughly $200 a week, so consequently the gals weren't interested in n'erdowells like my old-self. I've forgotten about all the crap that makes its way to your house when you do get serious with someone, but this shee-aht is getting ridiculous.
Ah, the mystery of women, their bras and their shoes. What can you do?
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