Chuck Norris is a source of 7 essential nutrients, including vitamins, minerals and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays golf he roundhouse kicks the ball of the tee. If anyone questions his methods he roundhouse kicks them in the knee.

On August 17, 1993, Nolan Ryan introduced himself to Chuck Norris as "Ryan: Texas Ranger". On August 17, 2008, Nolan Ryan will die. If Chuck Norris respects you, he'll give you fifteen more years.

When Chuck Norris is accused of farting people die of roundhouse related kicks to the head.

A waitress at a Western Sizzler accidentally gave Chuck Norris a well-done steak instead of a rare steak. Chuck proceeded to have sex with her on the table and said "Now that's well-done!" The waitress replied "That's pretty rare too!" Chuck proceeded to have sex with her 15 more times just to prove her wrong.

Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, and Sammy Sosa are not on steroids. They are just Chuck Norris' children.

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King...and he got it.

When Chuck Norris makes a threat it's not a threat nor a promise. It's death.

How can Chuck Norris perform a PERFECT Round House Kick? As a kid, Chuck had great amounts of time to practice his Round House kicks in time out. Reason? Chuck don't share. Ever.

Chuck dicided to take a bath and whip India at the same time... Thus the Tsunami

NASA was in panic cause a metior was heading for earth... Chuck caught it with his beard and then round-house-kicked it's arse into Jupitor, thus we have the Metior belt...

In the beginning there was Chuck Norris.

Tough guys eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats tough guys for breakfast.



Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits

when chuck norris steps in a puddle, he doesnt get wet, the puddle gets chuck norris

Chuck Norris has 118,453 friends on myspace. It is an unspoken agreement that when you join his list of friends, you are actually placing your name on his list of death, but Chuck Norris' friends do not care. To die by the hand of Chuck is an honor.

chuck norris can divide by 0..in fractions!

Dude your about 6 months too late for the Chuck Norris craze.

This would have been much funnier if Bart had posted this. Just not funny coming from "huskieaccountant". Sorry.

NIUtrav09 Wrote:Dude your about 6 months too late for the Chuck Norris craze.

agreed

NIUHuskies09 Wrote:

NIUtrav09 Wrote:Dude your about 6 months too late for the Chuck Norris craze.

agreed

yup.

welcome to 2005

Technically its NEVER too late for a chuck norris quote. Sorry lads. We need something to entertain ourselves in portapottys and bathrooms across Iraq.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.



There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.




In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.



The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.



Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.



The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.



Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.



Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."



Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.



Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.



Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.



The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.



When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.



Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.



When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.




Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.



Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"



Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord



Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.



Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times



China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.



Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about



If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.



Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Pat Schiller in the face, Pat then killed him and this awful thread

PatSchillerfanatic Wrote:Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Pat Schiller in the face, Pat then killed him and this awful thread

+1

This was better when we did it as a Joe Novak thread a long time ago.