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FALL WEDDINGS MUST STOP NOW!!!!
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mollautt Offline
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Post: #1
FALL WEDDINGS MUST STOP NOW!!!!
=>First my buddy Shane from Law School scheduled his wedding the date of the originally scheduled NIU game. This is the same jackhole who scheduled the wedding of his first marriage on the date of the Miami-Marshall game in 1997 (the one where Miami beat a Herdiban team lead by Randy Moss and Chad Pennington). I missed that game and as a result, I only saw Miami beat Marshall once. Such a sacrifice on my part to go to his wedding on THAT date only to see him get a divorce within two years. Effin' jackhole.

Luckily for me, Miami moved the NIU game to Sunday night.

I thought I was actually going to have a football season with no wedding conflicts. I was wrong.

I just received a wedding invitation from my dumbsh!t first cousin scheduled to begin at 2pm on Saturday, September 16, 2006. Miami hosts Kent at 2pm on that day. Cousin Joey should be ashamed of himself. My own flesh and blood.

Every effin' year it is the same sh!t. There is always 1 or 2 fall weddings I have to go to. Never do I get an invite for a late April or May or July wedding. June sometimes. Total bullsh!t. I have had it. At least last year the only game I missed was @ Temple. I was able to listen to a little bit of the 2nd half in the car on the way to the reception hall. I brought a radio with me with an earpiece to listen during the reception, but the music was too loud. Plus, family members kept wanting to talk to me about this and that (plus my wife kept b!tching about how rude I was for listening to the game instead of socializing -- I blew her off of course 04-rock ).

It is the b!tches we men marry who do this. It is their first attempt to control male behavior by getting married at a time when heterosexual males would rather be doing something else. These women conspire to have as big as weddings as possible to make sure as many men are taken away from the college football they love so much.

I have never been to a fall wedding where I did not hear at least one conversation among men complaining about some game they are missing. If there is a bar with a T.V. at the reception, 1/2 the men crowd it to watch a game.

Fall and winter weddings are just rude. Weddings should take place btw the 2nd weekend in April through the 2nd weekend in August.

I proposed on Valentine's day in Oxford minutes before a Miami-NIU basketball game. After she said "yes" near the Upham Arches, I then said, "Good, let's go, we are running late for the game." We got married 16 months later in June of the next year. My wife wanted to get married in the previous November or October. I was man enough to say no and explain to her how rude it is to heterosexual males to have a wedding on a college football Saturday.

TO ANYBODY WHO IS OR MAY CONSIDER A FALL OR WINTER WEDDING: Don't do it. It is wrong. Your marriage will be cursed as fall weddings are an afront to God and the Woofing Gods. See what happened to Shane's first marriage as discussed above.

For those that have scheduled a full or winter wedding to take place in the next few months, it is NOT TOO late to change it. If your future spouse truly loves you, he/she will understand. Men who were obligated to attend your fall/winter wedding will respect you and appreciate your courtesy.

For those of you who have had a fall/winter wedding in the past, MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL YOU POOR SICK SPINELESS BASTARD!!! Maybe someday your wife will take your balls out of her safe and let you wear them to 5 seconds.

http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp...ctionID=11
08-03-2006 02:04 PM
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Vandelay Offline
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Post: #2
 
agreed, I caved in 8 years ago and got married in late Sept - still cursed to this day by my friends even though the reception was a blast
08-03-2006 03:39 PM
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Lord Stanley Offline
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I bet it felt good to write all that.

Amen brother.
08-03-2006 04:09 PM
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mollautt Offline
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Lord Stanley Wrote:I bet it felt good to write all that.

Amen brother.

=>Either that or fume about it at the wedding.

My wife tried to entice me to have a November wedding by stating we could take our honeymoon in Hawaii where Miami was playing the Rainbows in football. It was tempting, but I knew it was wrong and did not cave.
08-03-2006 04:12 PM
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MH55 Offline
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Post: #5
 
I was enjoying the post until the gratuitous shot at Temple. Well, maybe there's still time for you to get divorced and remarry in '07. You're not going to want to see that one, that Saturday, it will probably be the game that nullifies Bowl eligibility for UMoO...
08-03-2006 04:15 PM
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seeds99 Offline
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Post: #6
 
Yeah, my buddy is getting married Labor Day weekend and I am the bestman. Its on the Friday though so I am taking an early flight on Saturday out to Columbus to catch NIU. If I don't have time to change and you see someone wearing a tux at the game thats me.
08-03-2006 04:31 PM
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mollautt Offline
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MH55 Wrote:I was enjoying the post until the gratuitous shot at Temple. Well, maybe there's still time for you to get divorced and remarry in '07. You're not going to want to see that one, that Saturday, it will probably be the game that nullifies Bowl eligibility for UMoO...

=>Well it was a meaningless late season OOC game. Had Miami been playing Temple in week one or two it would have matter more.

BTW, I do not need to get divorced. Remember, my wife agreed to wait 16 months after I proposed to have an off season June wedding! 02-13-banana
08-03-2006 05:55 PM
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OUBOBCATJOHN Offline
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I went to a wedding last year the nite of Ohio State/Texas game. Lets just say the dance floor was empty as the groom and every guy in the hall was at the hotel bar watching the Bucks and Horns. The women were left wondering where we all went.
08-03-2006 10:47 PM
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Stick4489 Offline
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Post: #9
Re: FALL WEDDINGS MUST STOP NOW!!!!
mollautt Wrote:Fall and winter weddings are just rude. Weddings should take place btw the 2nd weekend in April through the 2nd weekend in August.

Amen! Amen! Amen! I would add one amendment to your dates. Avoid the first Saturday in May!

Also, don't make the mistake I made and think it's OK to schedule a fall wedding on your team's open date. You set yourself up with a sticky game day/wedding anniversary conflict about every five or six years! 03-weeping
08-04-2006 01:10 AM
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Boca Rocket Offline
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Post: #10
 
1)Give a very nice gift and tell anybody that is getting married in the fall you can't make it.
2)TIVO the game.
3)Try to find a bar in the area ,make an appearance,then sneak out,comeback during halftime or if it's a blowout.
4)On a regular network-bring small tv with a headset
5)ND game or Catholic wedding-try the Priests' or Nuns' quarters.Chances are they'll have the game on.
08-04-2006 05:32 AM
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DrTorch Offline
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Post: #11
 
It's true! My first marriage was in Sept. What a disaster (both the wedding and marriage). What you don't think of initially is that this is NOT just a one year inconvenience. You're going to have an anniversary every year that gets in the way of college football.

My current wife and I recognized this, and while we got married close to Valentine's Day, we didn't get married ON Valentine's...so we can celebrate our anniversary w/o fighting 96% of the world trying to make reservations.
08-04-2006 07:33 AM
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onlinepole Offline
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Post: #12
 
OUBOBCATJOHN Wrote:I went to a wedding last year the nite of Ohio State/Texas game. Lets just say the dance floor was empty as the groom and every guy in the hall was at the hotel bar watching the Bucks and Horns. The women were left wondering where we all went.

That's hilarious! Serves them right, what were they thinking lmfao 04-bow
08-05-2006 05:50 PM
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onlinepole Offline
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Post: #13
 
Amen brother you are preaching to the choir!

Thank God I married a good farm girl who actually knows about sports. The year we got married MLB had a Hall of Fame Induction Saturday so there weren't any baseball games played that late July Saturday till night and our wedding was 11AM. Had a late afternoon celebration dinner; got to airport at 8PM for the honeymoon. Had Fox Sports Baseball on the plane and a bucketful of Margaritas made the flight in coach stressless.

Even off football season weddings need to be either Fri Nite or early Sun nite so no Baseball or Hockey is missed. 02-13-banana
08-05-2006 05:58 PM
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onlinepole Offline
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BTW your rant reads like a script from a Will Farrell, Ron Burgundy like movie. lmfao
08-05-2006 06:00 PM
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CMichFan Offline
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I nominate this thread for the Archives! lmfao
08-05-2006 06:01 PM
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Chris from WV Offline
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AMEN !!!
AMEN brother!!!!

Back in '98, all of my wife's sorority sisters got married the same summer (okay, not all of them but it sure as hell felt like it). Some were football-courteous and planned July/August weddings. But the real witches (maybe 2-3 of them) planned September weddings - on Saturdays of course.

I sucked it up and went to ALL the weddings - but never again.

True story: The following year, my cousin's bride chose the Saturday when Marshall played at Clemson. Although the wedding took place in Cumberland, Maryland, just about every male at the reception was pissed because they weren't showing the game in that market. At the official reception toast, the groom's older brother said something like, "we wish the happy couple the best and now since "she" is offically part of the family, there will never be any other plans made that interfere with Marshall football games." Everybody rolled with laughter.
08-05-2006 09:00 PM
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RangerRocket Offline
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CMichFan Wrote:I nominate this thread for the Archives! lmfao

Concur!!! 04-bow
08-05-2006 10:11 PM
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Karl Offline
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RangerRocket Wrote:
CMichFan Wrote:I nominate this thread for the Archives! lmfao

Concur!!! 04-bow

I moved it to the Archive Nominations, wherever that is. You can still get to it by way of the MAC board. Great thread.
08-06-2006 06:13 AM
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klingon288 Offline
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OUBOBCATJOHN Wrote:I went to a wedding last year the nite of Ohio State/Texas game. Lets just say the dance floor was empty as the groom and every guy in the hall was at the hotel bar watching the Bucks and Horns. The women were left wondering where we all went.

My brother-in-law's wedding was similar. A State College, Pa. resident, he got married on a day of a Penn State-Alabama football game. I don't know what they were thinking if they thought it was OK because it was an away football game. 01-wingedeagle

VERY quiet reception- except for the noise coming from the back room with the television where most of the guests were watching the game. 04-cheers
08-06-2006 08:32 AM
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NIU70 Offline
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Post: #20
 
My nephew (and my godson) scheduled his wedding for the day of the NIU-Maryland game in 2003--originally set for Saturday. The game was moved to Thursday night, so I was able to make the game. I still have to sweat three neices and a nephew.
08-06-2006 10:16 AM
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