You rub a lamp and the genie comes out and tells you,"I will give you 1 trillion dollars, but you must spend it to do the following:

Buy 1 team in each major sports league, AND move them to a new city." (He does NOT expect you to exhaust the $$ on the purchases)

Which teams do you buy, where do you move them?

MLB: Rays/Portland
NFL: Jags/Portland
NHL: Coyotes/SLC
NBA: Kings/Seattle

MLB Pirates-> Portland
NFL Steelers-> Portland
NHL Penguins -> Portland
NBA Celtics-> Portland

NBA - buy Pelicans and move them to Birmingham
NFL - buy Bills and move them to Toronto
NHL - buy Hurricanes and move them to Atlanta
MLB - buy Rays and move them to Montreal

NBA: Pelicans to Seattle (swap divisions with the Thunder)
NHL: Coyotes to Houston
MLB: Rays to Nashville
NFL: Jaguars to London/Tottenham (swap divisions with the Dolphins)

I forgot 1 more rule: the teams must stay in North America

NBA: Grizzlies back to Vancouver
NHL: Coyotes to Quebec City
MLB: Rays to Montreal
NFL (non-serious): Steelers to Whitehorse, Yukon Territory
NFL (serious): Chargers back to San Diego

League: First choice; second choice (if I had one)

MLB: Athletics to Portland; Rays to Tampa
NFL: Jaguars to St. Louis; Chargers to San Diego
NBA: Pelicans to Seattle
NHL: Hurricanes to Quebec; Coyotes to Houston

MLB: Yankees-->Waterton, Alberta

If good things come in small packages, tiny Waterton, Alberta, is bursting with greatness. This tiny town (home to just 50 or so people in winter) is built on just one square mile. But this tiny space packs a powerful punch. Located within Waterton Lakes National Park, the town boasts a spectacular natural backdrop of mountains and lakes while it’s wee town center is filled with shops and restaurants. The landscape is dominated by the Prince of Wales Hotel, which offers old fashioned luxury, incredible views, and even a full afternoon tea service.

...because, F the Yankees!

NFL: Dallas-->Summerside, Prince Edward Island

Sleepy Summerside, Prince Edward Island, is as relaxed as they come. The harbor-front boardwalk, Spinnaker’s Landing, is designed to look like an old fashioned fishing village, with buildings painted turquoise, pink, aqua, yellow, and orange. There, visitors will find restaurants, shops, ice cream stands, and even a theater.

..because, F the Cowboys!

NBA: Lakers-->International Falls, MN


They need to return to be by the lakes they were named for, and International Falls, MN is one of the coldest places in the United States (not counting Alaska). According to a local news website, the coldest temperature on record for International Falls is -60 degrees Fahrenheit. International Falls is so proud of its status as the chilliest place in the contiguous United States that it actually took its rival for this title, Fraser, Colorado, to court in 2002 to see just who was really the "Icebox of the Nation." International Falls was the winner, and its residents now celebrate this win each year with a four-day festival of snowman making, skiing and bowling on the ice with frozen turkeys.

...because F the Lakers (actually, pretty much any team in the NBA today the way their attitude is to a large segment of the populace.)

NHL: Arizona--> Atlanta

because they never should have taken two teams away in the first place that were doing well fan-wise and interest-wise. The Flames left because of the real-estate bust in the '70 and Cousins couldn't hack it, and the Thrashers left due to the stupidity of the 7-headed ownership group's infighting and short-sightedness. Atlanta fans deserve a hockey team to stay and they have shown they can and will support it, despite the ownership groups' lameness.