Let's start the hate!
A Toledo grad came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took
off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"
What should he see but an NIU grad in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it
to his head. His wife started laughing.
"Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130 (obviously an NIU grad)." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." A second man came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Toledo these days?"
Q: Why did the Toledo grad put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down.
Q: What happened to the Toledo hockey team? A: They all drowned in spring training.
Q: Why don't Toledo women use vibrators? A: It chips their teeth.
Q: Why did the Toledo grad cross the road? A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: How does every Toledo joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What’s the difference between a smart Toledo grad and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Toledo beauty contest? A: Me neither.
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Toledo wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Q: What does a Toledo girl do after she sucks ****? A: Spits out the feathers.
Q: What do you do if a Toledo grad throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q: What do you do if a Toledo grad throws a hand-grenade at you? A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q: How do you know if a Toledo grad has been using a computer? A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: How did the Toledo grad’s mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on? A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: How do you know you're flying over Toledo? A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
Q: Did you see the Toledo submarine with a screen door? A: Don’t laugh, it keeps the fish out.
Q: Did you hear about the Toledo Helicopter crash? A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: How do you get a Toledo grad out of the bath tub? A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Toledo? A: They forgot the recipe.
Q: What happens when a Toledo grad doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.
Q: How do you ruin a Toledo grad party? A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What happened to the Toledo Library? A: Someone stole the book.
Q: What did the Toledo mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q: Why did the Toledo grad sell his water skis? A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
An NIU guy is driving with a Toledo guy as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspects that his turn signal may not be working. He asks the Toledo guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. The Toledo guy steps out and stands in front of the car. The NIU guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?" To which the Toledo guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
A Toledo grad is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Toledo grad replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
Three prisoners, an NIU Grad, a Bowling Green grad, and a Toledo grad, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the NIU grad and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the NIU grad runs away. Next, they place the Bowling Green grad in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the Bowling Green grad escapes. Next up is the Toledo grad. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind their relatives about its harsh conditions Their Alma Maters are NIU, Ball State and Toledo. So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss. So, the NIU grad made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then the Ball State grad made a call the Devil made him to pay 10 dollars on fact that Indiana is less developed than Illinois. LASTLY the Toledo grad made a call and the Devil made him to pay one cent. Both the NIU grad and Ball State grad complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them "The Toledo grad's call was a local call whereas your calls were long distance"
I watched the Toledo game yesterday- and all I can say is that it is typical Toledo.
They tell themselves they are good, and the media loves that, but honestly they are terrible. They have no QB play at all. The defense might as well play in the Vatican they are so Holey...
So while we aren’t great - we have a shot at Toledo...or I should say they will give us a shot. Just have to capitalize on their mess.
(11-28-2020 08:08 PM)HUSKIEFOOTBALLFAN Wrote: [ -> ]Q: Why did the Toledo grad put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down.
Q: What happened to the Toledo hockey team? A: They all drowned in spring training.
Q: Why don't Toledo women use vibrators? A: It chips their teeth.
Q: Why did the Toledo grad cross the road? A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: How does every Toledo joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What’s the difference between a smart Toledo grad and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Toledo beauty contest? A: Me neither.
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Toledo wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Q: What does a Toledo girl do after she sucks ****? A: Spits out the feathers.
Q: What do you do if a Toledo grad throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q: What do you do if a Toledo grad throws a hand-grenade at you? A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q: How do you know if a Toledo grad has been using a computer? A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: How did the Toledo grad’s mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on? A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: How do you know you're flying over Toledo? A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
Q: Did you see the Toledo submarine with a screen door? A: Don’t laugh, it keeps the fish out.
Q: Did you hear about the Toledo Helicopter crash? A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: How do you get a Toledo grad out of the bath tub? A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Toledo? A: They forgot the recipe.
Q: What happens when a Toledo grad doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.
Q: How do you ruin a Toledo grad party? A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What happened to the Toledo Library? A: Someone stole the book.
Q: What did the Toledo mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q: Why did the Toledo grad sell his water skis? A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
An NIU guy is driving with a Toledo guy as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspects that his turn signal may not be working. He asks the Toledo guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. The Toledo guy steps out and stands in front of the car. The NIU guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?" To which the Toledo guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
A Toledo grad is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Toledo grad replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
Three prisoners, an NIU Grad, a Bowling Green grad, and a Toledo grad, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the NIU grad and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the NIU grad runs away. Next, they place the Bowling Green grad in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the Bowling Green grad escapes. Next up is the Toledo grad. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind their relatives about its harsh conditions Their Alma Maters are NIU, Ball State and Toledo. So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss. So, the NIU grad made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then the Ball State grad made a call the Devil made him to pay 10 dollars on fact that Indiana is less developed than Illinois. LASTLY the Toledo grad made a call and the Devil made him to pay one cent. Both the NIU grad and Ball State grad complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them "The Toledo grad's call was a local call whereas your calls were long distance"
I hope that was a cut and paste job—-if not, you wasted a whole lot of time on stuff that we already know. Toledo blows.
The Turds open as 10 point favorites.
I'm going out on a limb and saying that NIU wins this one.
Where has Michael Love been this season? Is he injured?
THE VALUE OF A TOLEDO EDUCATION
Three contestants were on a game show - one from NIU, one from WMU, and one from Toledo.
The host asked the NIU contestant, "Complete this sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ________."
NIU contestant: "Farm".
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to WMU contestant: "What is on a farm?"
WMU contestant: "Animals."
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to Toledo contestant: "Spell farm."
Toledo contestant: "Easy! e-i-e-i-o."
(11-30-2020 11:48 AM)Dog Fan Wrote: [ -> ]THE VALUE OF A TOLEDO EDUCATION
Three contestants were on a game show - one from NIU, one from WMU, and one from Toledo.
The host asked the NIU contestant, "Complete this sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ________."
NIU contestant: "Farm".
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to WMU contestant: "What is on a farm?"
WMU contestant: "Animals."
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to Toledo contestant: "Spell farm."
Toledo contestant: "Easy! e-i-e-i-o."
e-i-e-i-o it’s off to DeKalb we go ...
Same tune different verse ...
(11-30-2020 12:58 PM)FMRocket Wrote: [ -> ] (11-30-2020 11:48 AM)Dog Fan Wrote: [ -> ]THE VALUE OF A TOLEDO EDUCATION
Three contestants were on a game show - one from NIU, one from WMU, and one from Toledo.
The host asked the NIU contestant, "Complete this sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ________."
NIU contestant: "Farm".
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to WMU contestant: "What is on a farm?"
WMU contestant: "Animals."
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to Toledo contestant: "Spell farm."
Toledo contestant: "Easy! e-i-e-i-o."
e-i-e-i-o it’s off to DeKalb we go ...
Same tune different verse ...
We're having some fun with you Toledo fans.
Although I hate the Rockets, I really like you Toledo fans. A bunch of really nice guys.
(11-30-2020 01:05 PM)Dog Fan Wrote: [ -> ] (11-30-2020 12:58 PM)FMRocket Wrote: [ -> ] (11-30-2020 11:48 AM)Dog Fan Wrote: [ -> ]THE VALUE OF A TOLEDO EDUCATION
Three contestants were on a game show - one from NIU, one from WMU, and one from Toledo.
The host asked the NIU contestant, "Complete this sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ________."
NIU contestant: "Farm".
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to WMU contestant: "What is on a farm?"
WMU contestant: "Animals."
Host: "Correct! 10 points."
Host to Toledo contestant: "Spell farm."
Toledo contestant: "Easy! e-i-e-i-o."
e-i-e-i-o it’s off to DeKalb we go ...
Same tune different verse ...
We're having some fun with you Toledo fans.
Although I hate the Rockets, I really like you Toledo fans. A bunch of really nice guys.
Planned on making it out there this season, but with the virus thing, then your governor thing, well it just isn’t happening...
CHEERS
Good luck, and as always.... Huck the Fuskies !!
(12-02-2020 12:24 PM)Rabid Squirrel Wrote: [ -> ] (12-02-2020 12:17 PM)stpeterocketfan Wrote: [ -> ]The new ESPN Bottom Ten is out and NIU is in great company with EIU & Akron.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/st...ll-big-ten
That’s gonna make the Rocket’s loss this weekend look really bad.
Awww damn. We need to get off this list
(12-02-2020 10:24 PM)BDB5yp Wrote: [ -> ]TUCK FOLEDO
+ 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
(12-03-2020 12:34 AM)The Huskie Wrote: [ -> ] (12-02-2020 10:24 PM)BDB5yp Wrote: [ -> ]TUCK FOLEDO
+ 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
Your basketball team is amazing!
(12-03-2020 12:00 PM)stpeterocketfan Wrote: [ -> ] (12-03-2020 12:34 AM)The Huskie Wrote: [ -> ] (12-02-2020 10:24 PM)BDB5yp Wrote: [ -> ]TUCK FOLEDO
+ 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
Your basketball team is amazing!
Thanks! And, we agree. We are amazed every time we watch them play!
