In honor of SMU's first visit to Kyle Field in 8 years (also known as Sheep Lovers Field), please feel free to post your favorite Aggie joke within the confines of the rules of the Board. Notice I put this on the smack board without it having to be moved.
Aggie jokes aren't smack. They are an assertion of the natural order of God's great universe. :D
However, in order that they may be left uncensored and nasty as we wanna be, it's probably best that the thread stays on the Smack Board. Good thinking, Sir Pony.
Oddly, my very favorite Aggie joke is one in which the Aggie actually prevails...
Quote:An Aggie who (for some unknown reason) is on a trip up North decides to take a tour of the Harvard University campus. He gets a little lost and, after wandering around for a while, decides to ask for a little help from one of the local milquetoasts. So he catches a Harvard Man's eye and asks him, "Hey, where's the library at?"
With a sniff, the Ivy Leaguer promptly reprimands our Agro-American friend: "You should never end a sentence with a preposition."
Aggy scratches his head and gives it another try. "Okay -- so where's the library at, a<span style='color:black'>s</span>shole?"
Tear 'em up, Ponies.
What do they call good looking girls at A&M? Visitors.
Why do they have synthetic turf at Kyle Field? To keep the coeds from grazing.
What do they call it when an Aggie does something the first time? A mistake. What do they call it the second time? A tradition! (there is almost too much truth in that to be funny!)
And there is the time honored sign editing: eATMe .
In honor of Tulsa, I will not quote the old joke about the Aggie moving to Oklahoma.
Mrs. Aggie learns after the fifteenth child what causes babies and hears that there's an operation called a vysectomee. So she sends her husband to the Aggie doctor who happens to be a vet. The doc says, just put a cherry bomb in a can and count to ten. That puzzles the Aggie, so he goes to see a real doctor who graduated from one of them good medical schools. The doctor pulls out a drawing and describes the procedure. The Aggie looks puzzled and doesn't understand. The doctor then sees the guy is 50 years old and wearing his corp attire and says, oh, I'm sorry, you're an Aggie just put a cherry bomb in a tin can and count to ten. So on the way home, Aggie buys a cherry bomb. Once he's home he lights it, and counts, 1-puts out one finger, 2, puts out the second finger, at five, he puts the can between his legs.
EastStang Wrote:In honor of Tulsa, I will not quote the old joke about the Aggie moving to Oklahoma.
Make it Arkansas and everyone's happy. :D
Aggie moves to Arkansas. In one moment he raised the intelligence level of two states.
The problem with aggie jokes:
the Aggies don't think they're funny, and everyone else doesn't realize they're jokes :D
So, how many aggie jokes are there?
One. All the rest are true.
Q: Why did the Aggie get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He kept throwing out all the W's.
As long as you are telling jokes heres a Marshall/WVU joke:
A guy from WVU driving from Morgantown to Huntington, and a guy from Marshall driving from Huntington to Morgantown. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road, somewhere between Sutton and Gassoway, they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Mountie manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage.
He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!!!" Likewise, the Marshall Grad scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Eer walks over to the Thundering Herder and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals."
The Marshall guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck." So the Marshall guy pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Eer, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The Eer says, "You're right!", and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Eer hands it back to the man in green and says, "Your turn!"
The Marshall guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the state troupers to show up."
What do you get when you put 32 Aggie co-eds in a room-- a full set of teeth.
A guy has a rat problem so he calls the Aggie exterminating company. 8 Aggies show up in full battle gear. A horrific battle ensues with the rats. After the battle there was a grim report 2 Aggies dead, four wounded and two took --war brides.
And for a mere taste of A&M "tradition"
<a href='http://tamu-and-baseball.com/' target='_blank'>http://tamu-and-baseball.com/</a>
Q: How many Aggies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None -- that lightbulb is a tradition and has been there for generations.
(egad, Doc... I just thought of something horrible. Could it be Aggies running the Rice Stadium scoreboard?)
lauramac Wrote:Q: How many Aggies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None -- that lightbulb is a tradition and has been there for generations.
(egad, Doc... I just thought of something horrible. Could it be Aggies running the Rice Stadium scoreboard?)
That would explain the sound system too! :eek:
Two Aggies are sitting across from one another at a table in a restaurant. A woman nearby begins to choke on some of her food. She gags, coughs and wheezes to no avail. Finally, after the woman begins to turn blue, one Aggie turns to the other and says"should we?" The other Aggie answers, "I guess we'd better". So, the one Aggie stands and drops his pants, the other Aggie licks the first Aggies butt. When the choking woman sees the Aggie lick the other one's behind, she is so shocked that she immediately spits out the offending food item. The Aggies look at one another and say " Man, that hiney-lick manuever works every time!"
Q: Why does the Aggie Corps wear uniforms made out of polyester?
A: There's no virgin wool within a hundred miles of College Station!
A&M where men are men, and sheep are nervous.
Next time you go to A&M ask: Why are there so many boy scouts in the stands? Why do milkmen stand out there scratching their butts? Why do Aggies grab their sacks on kickoffs and scream? What this about uncovering? Sounds kinda kinky to me.
Two Aggies were flying back to College Station after a game with LSU in Baton Rouge. As they approached Hooks Airport ouside of Houston the Aggie pilot said " We're low on gas, I'm going to land and fill up". They came in for the landing and no sooner had they touched down for a perfect landing than they were suddenly upside down in the grass. When they finally came to, the pilot said to the other Aggie " My God....that is the shortest runway I have ever seen in my life". The other Aggie responded " I know, but look at the damn thing....it must be a mile wide".