03-27-2013, 11:19 AM
Glamour Features Lisa's Story: ''Forgiven and Set Free''!
Glamour magazine in its March 2009 issue featured the stories of women who have experienced an abortion. Some of them shared about the emotional trauma they have gone through ever since. Only one of the women featured, Lisa Gaylord, found true healing after she participated in a post-abortion bible study, “Forgiven and Set Free” at a Care Net pregnancy center. She now leads that same bible study at the Hopeline Pregnancy Resource Center, another Care Net center in Danbury, CT. Read Lisa’s full story below…
Lisa’s Story
My first abortion was when I was 19 years old in Westchester, NY. I was living with my boyfriend, and he felt strongly that I should abort when we learned I was pregnant. He had gotten a girl pregnant prior to our relationship, and when she refused to abort, he left her. I knew he would do the same to me, and I was too scared to be a single mother.
My actual abortion experience itself was horrible, as they couldn’t get an IV in due to uncooperative veins. The doctor reminded me that there were other methods, but I insisted on general anesthesia. I wanted as little recollection as possible. I believed I could just go on with my life and forget the whole thing.
After hours of trying to get a good vein (they tried my wrists, arms, hands, legs, and even my neck), nothing worked. I was sent home and told they would bring in a specialist from New York City the following week. I wrestled with the thought that it wasn’t meant to happen, but my fear won out, and I was back. This time it was successful, and I awoke, initially relieved. The nurses were not aware that I was awake, until I saw one of them carrying a glass jar to a room down the hall. I started to realize that the contents were the remains and became very emotional. One of the other nurses rushed her away and tried to calm me down. I left that day a changed woman.
I became very depressed and withdrawn, and cried everyday. I felt empty and dead inside. A couple of close friends reassured me it was the right decision, but the price was that I couldn’t live with myself. I resented my boyfriend and avoided my family, who were Christians, for fear of them ever finding out. I bled for months, but was terrified to get checked out. I thought God was punishing me.
I eventually left my boyfriend, and got back together with my boyfriend from high school. He helped me escape my guilt through drugs. Pretty soon, I was smoking angel dust-laced joints on a daily basis, along with coke, acid, and just about anything I could get my hands on. I found myself pregnant again, exactly a year after my first abortion. We made the decision together to terminate and went back to the same clinic. There were no complications with my veins this time, and I went to the clinic that day high as a kite.
I did not experience any emotional feelings of regret until I got clean. I joined Narcotics Anonymous, started going to church, and married my husband. When I went to my son’s first ultrasound, I was amazed by the whole thing. He looked like a baby and I heard the heartbeat. He was only a week or so older than the two I had aborted. That was very difficult to deal with. I had already asked God to forgive me, but couldn’t forgive myself, because I was raised a Christian and felt I should have known better. I found out about Care Net and the abortion recovery bible study they do for women who regret their decision. I needed closure, so I went through the study and came to a place of acceptance.
I would give anything to go back and make two different choices, but I can’t. I will not live in the past. Instead, I choose to forgive myself and move forward. Today, I lead that same study, showing women the same compassion and understanding I was shown. Some women make the choice to abort, unprepared for the emotional turmoil that often follows. I am so thankful to God for healing me from the pain of abortion and giving me the wonderful life I have now. I am a proud mother of two boys today, and look forward to the day I will see my other two children in heaven.
To find a local post-abortion support group near you or to learn more, call 1-800-395-HELP or visit http://www.optionline.org and click on “After Abortion”.
https://www.care-net.org/custom/glamour-...t-free.php
What would you say to this woman (not to me) about her choice?
Glamour magazine in its March 2009 issue featured the stories of women who have experienced an abortion. Some of them shared about the emotional trauma they have gone through ever since. Only one of the women featured, Lisa Gaylord, found true healing after she participated in a post-abortion bible study, “Forgiven and Set Free” at a Care Net pregnancy center. She now leads that same bible study at the Hopeline Pregnancy Resource Center, another Care Net center in Danbury, CT. Read Lisa’s full story below…
Lisa’s Story
My first abortion was when I was 19 years old in Westchester, NY. I was living with my boyfriend, and he felt strongly that I should abort when we learned I was pregnant. He had gotten a girl pregnant prior to our relationship, and when she refused to abort, he left her. I knew he would do the same to me, and I was too scared to be a single mother.
My actual abortion experience itself was horrible, as they couldn’t get an IV in due to uncooperative veins. The doctor reminded me that there were other methods, but I insisted on general anesthesia. I wanted as little recollection as possible. I believed I could just go on with my life and forget the whole thing.
After hours of trying to get a good vein (they tried my wrists, arms, hands, legs, and even my neck), nothing worked. I was sent home and told they would bring in a specialist from New York City the following week. I wrestled with the thought that it wasn’t meant to happen, but my fear won out, and I was back. This time it was successful, and I awoke, initially relieved. The nurses were not aware that I was awake, until I saw one of them carrying a glass jar to a room down the hall. I started to realize that the contents were the remains and became very emotional. One of the other nurses rushed her away and tried to calm me down. I left that day a changed woman.
I became very depressed and withdrawn, and cried everyday. I felt empty and dead inside. A couple of close friends reassured me it was the right decision, but the price was that I couldn’t live with myself. I resented my boyfriend and avoided my family, who were Christians, for fear of them ever finding out. I bled for months, but was terrified to get checked out. I thought God was punishing me.
I eventually left my boyfriend, and got back together with my boyfriend from high school. He helped me escape my guilt through drugs. Pretty soon, I was smoking angel dust-laced joints on a daily basis, along with coke, acid, and just about anything I could get my hands on. I found myself pregnant again, exactly a year after my first abortion. We made the decision together to terminate and went back to the same clinic. There were no complications with my veins this time, and I went to the clinic that day high as a kite.
I did not experience any emotional feelings of regret until I got clean. I joined Narcotics Anonymous, started going to church, and married my husband. When I went to my son’s first ultrasound, I was amazed by the whole thing. He looked like a baby and I heard the heartbeat. He was only a week or so older than the two I had aborted. That was very difficult to deal with. I had already asked God to forgive me, but couldn’t forgive myself, because I was raised a Christian and felt I should have known better. I found out about Care Net and the abortion recovery bible study they do for women who regret their decision. I needed closure, so I went through the study and came to a place of acceptance.
I would give anything to go back and make two different choices, but I can’t. I will not live in the past. Instead, I choose to forgive myself and move forward. Today, I lead that same study, showing women the same compassion and understanding I was shown. Some women make the choice to abort, unprepared for the emotional turmoil that often follows. I am so thankful to God for healing me from the pain of abortion and giving me the wonderful life I have now. I am a proud mother of two boys today, and look forward to the day I will see my other two children in heaven.
To find a local post-abortion support group near you or to learn more, call 1-800-395-HELP or visit http://www.optionline.org and click on “After Abortion”.
https://www.care-net.org/custom/glamour-...t-free.php
What would you say to this woman (not to me) about her choice?
