12-06-2010, 02:33 PM
No; not "It's a Wonderful Life". I'm talking about "The Best Little Whorehouse in Cleveland".
Mary Ann Coombs was a very nice girl. Sadly her inferiority complex combined with being raised on the wrong side of the tracks eventually led her to a life of prostitution. Among her regular clients was Kim Jong-Il, who Mary Ann nicknamed Big Ten, because he was always humming that old Aerosmith tune. While Kim's Jong was indeed gignorous, he had a complex of his own, as he was taking Extenze toward the goal of making it an even dozen.
Big Ten provided MAC, as she like to be called, with a steady source of income. Although he thought of himself as quite virile, the other johns, especially Billy Bob Secette, were the more potent. In fact, Big Ten was sometimes so clumsy it would cause MAC to laugh hysterically, knowing not only had she gotten paid but had also gained a minor victory.
This made all the little demons in Big Ten's head to say mean things like, "You're the worst lay in the land" and "All you ever do is give me the clap".
Soon thereafter, Big Ten would try to make amends with MAC. He'd always vow to take her to the annual Auto Workers Ball. She had heard that promise before, causing it to remind her of the scene where Lucy would always pull the football from Charlie Brown's foot when is tried to kick it. It failed to deter her, as MAC would dress up in her finest only to be heartbroken once again. Like the time before, and the time before that, Big Ten's sentiment was nothing but a ruse. And everytime, he stood her up in order to go to the Ticket City/Insight/Five-Hour Energy/Anything But Auto Workers Gala with the snarly lipped biatch, Nancy Disgrace.
But also, like always, waiting in the corner at the Auto Workers Ball to provide her solace was her friend Sonny Bealt, the American gigolo. He saved her again, like always. Because otherwise, she might have resorted to the almost unimaginable... having an incestuous relationship with Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.
The End.
Mary Ann Coombs was a very nice girl. Sadly her inferiority complex combined with being raised on the wrong side of the tracks eventually led her to a life of prostitution. Among her regular clients was Kim Jong-Il, who Mary Ann nicknamed Big Ten, because he was always humming that old Aerosmith tune. While Kim's Jong was indeed gignorous, he had a complex of his own, as he was taking Extenze toward the goal of making it an even dozen.
Big Ten provided MAC, as she like to be called, with a steady source of income. Although he thought of himself as quite virile, the other johns, especially Billy Bob Secette, were the more potent. In fact, Big Ten was sometimes so clumsy it would cause MAC to laugh hysterically, knowing not only had she gotten paid but had also gained a minor victory.
This made all the little demons in Big Ten's head to say mean things like, "You're the worst lay in the land" and "All you ever do is give me the clap".
Soon thereafter, Big Ten would try to make amends with MAC. He'd always vow to take her to the annual Auto Workers Ball. She had heard that promise before, causing it to remind her of the scene where Lucy would always pull the football from Charlie Brown's foot when is tried to kick it. It failed to deter her, as MAC would dress up in her finest only to be heartbroken once again. Like the time before, and the time before that, Big Ten's sentiment was nothing but a ruse. And everytime, he stood her up in order to go to the Ticket City/Insight/Five-Hour Energy/Anything But Auto Workers Gala with the snarly lipped biatch, Nancy Disgrace.
But also, like always, waiting in the corner at the Auto Workers Ball to provide her solace was her friend Sonny Bealt, the American gigolo. He saved her again, like always. Because otherwise, she might have resorted to the almost unimaginable... having an incestuous relationship with Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.
The End.
