02-20-2009, 03:31 PM
............is it that we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
............is it that banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
............is it that someone will believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but have to check if you say the paint is still wet?
............is it that Tarzan did not have a beard?
............is it that Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but ducked if someone threw a gun at him?
.............is it that Kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
.............is it that if people evolved from apes, there still wild apes around?
.............is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
............is it that there is never a day that mattresses are not on sale?
.............is it that people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
.............is it that people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
..............is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
..............is it that when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt you f'ing idiot. Why don't you watch where you're going?'
...............is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
...............in winter do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
..............do you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
............is it that banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
............is it that someone will believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but have to check if you say the paint is still wet?
............is it that Tarzan did not have a beard?
............is it that Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but ducked if someone threw a gun at him?
.............is it that Kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
.............is it that if people evolved from apes, there still wild apes around?
.............is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
............is it that there is never a day that mattresses are not on sale?
.............is it that people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
.............is it that people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
..............is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
..............is it that when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt you f'ing idiot. Why don't you watch where you're going?'
...............is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
...............in winter do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
..............do you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.