Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 15th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Why would we want to do all that? If you feel the need to tell us, then you're obviously already doing it. I don't see the problem.
I got this emailed to me the other day. It is hilarious! My hubby needs Class #2..........toliet paper rolls 101.....terribly!
Quote:Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
What is an ice cube tray?
Quote:Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
sure just walk out back
Quote:Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Moses wouldn't ask either and it took him forty years to get there.
Quote:Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
I guess we'll never know, since it is genetically impossible for her to parallel park.
Quote:Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Can I send my wife?
I think at our next function we are going to have a live demonstration of what men can do that women can't.
We will start with peeing on a wall.
Chi-Town Wrote:I think at our next function we are going to have a live demonstration of what men can do that women can't.
We will start with peeing on a wall.
I'd rather go straight to writing our name on the wall.
georgiatiger Wrote:Chi-Town Wrote:I think at our next function we are going to have a live demonstration of what men can do that women can't.
We will start with peeing on a wall.
I'd rather go straight to writing our name on the wall.
Trying to start with the basic mechanics.......remember the audience.
Men, any other suggestions for future meetings?
Chi-Town Wrote:georgiatiger Wrote:Chi-Town Wrote:I think at our next function we are going to have a live demonstration of what men can do that women can't.
We will start with peeing on a wall.
I'd rather go straight to writing our name on the wall.
Trying to start with the basic mechanics.......remember the audience.
Men, any other suggestions for future meetings?
Basically a beginners course in problem solving.
-How to operate an ice maker.
-The benefits of a twelve-pack of TP next to the toilet.
-Building relationships at the full-service laundry.
-etc.
Quote:Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Go buy me an ice maker
Quote:Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Keep a fresh roll next to the toilet, if I have to shuffle to closet with mudbutt and my pants around my ankles....it aint happening.
Quote:Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
For the more effeminate, they can squat just like the women, for the rest of us throw some pictures of little ships in the water and tell us to sink them
Quote:Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
You should rename this one to Loss of Manhood. In other words, if you take it away, just kill me now.
Quote:Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Stop putting things where they belong and I wont lose them.
Quote:Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Then endure suspicious looks and 20 questions as to what I did wrong.
Quote:Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Thats what Garmin and Magellan are for.......
Quote:Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
I'm pleading the fifth on this one
Quote:Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
For sticking your head in and turning the gas on when you're forced to deal with 1-13
J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
mphsfan Wrote:J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
Did you do the thread check?
TigerInPrisonWithALaptop Wrote:mphsfan Wrote:J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
Did you do the thread check?
Go count beans.
This is for my staff for which I have leeway to hire as I see fit.
mphsfan Wrote:J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
I'm in as long as I get to choose the personal assistants.
Why isn't anyone offering me a job?
J-villeTiger Wrote:mphsfan Wrote:J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
I'm in as long as I get to choose the personal assistants.
You have that privilege. As long as they pass the routine security checks. You might check with Big Ed aka Flounder aka Secretary of State, he's been running an ad for assistants and he can't even interview all of the applicants he's gotten.
mphsfan Wrote:TigerInPrisonWithALaptop Wrote:mphsfan Wrote:J-ville, you need a position in our Hierarchy. I've saved a position on my staff for the Director of Forum Chivalry.
I believe you will be perfect for it. It comes with 4 personal assistants, a forum credit card, expense account, SUV, home in the sub burbs, and an apartment on the bluff. Other than that it is an unpaid position.
Did you do the thread check?
Go count beans.
This is for my staff for which I have leeway to hire as I see fit.
I was just trying to keep you out of trouble mister "Heir Apparent" (
) Sheesh.
mphsfan Wrote:How to step on a bug.
With the follow up course of bug remains disposal. It can be done!
As Sanitation Director, this one is important, I can supervise.
tigerengineer Wrote:mphsfan Wrote:How to step on a bug.
With the follow up course of bug remains disposal. It can be done!
As Sanitation Director, this one is important, I can supervise.
I'm glad you're on top of things! You do know powerpoint, I trust?