08-30-2002, 07:39 AM
Things you would love to say at work
>
> 1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
> 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
> 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
> 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
>
> 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
>
> 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
> 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
> 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
> 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
> 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
> 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
> 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
> 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
> 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
> 15. I will always cherish the ini tial misconceptions I had about you.
> 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
> view.
> 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
> 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
> 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
> 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
> 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
> 23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
> 24. Do I look like a people person?
> 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
> 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
> 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
> 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
> 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
> 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
> 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
> 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
> 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
> 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
> 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun
>
>
> 1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
> 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
> 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
> 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
>
> 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
>
> 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
> 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
> 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
> 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
> 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
> 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
> 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
> 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
> 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
> 15. I will always cherish the ini tial misconceptions I had about you.
> 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
> view.
> 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
> 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
> 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
> 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
> 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
> 23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
> 24. Do I look like a people person?
> 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
> 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
> 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
> 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
> 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
> 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
> 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
> 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
> 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
> 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
> 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun
>