11-03-2005, 08:21 AM
France Elevates its Security Level
As many are aware, the French government recently announced a
raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal
level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag
factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and
excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels
remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to
"Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher
levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have
gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for
regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack
random countries (ideally those without any credible military)"
and "Beg the British for help".
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent
bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again
to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been
"A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but
ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"
to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody
Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.
As many are aware, the French government recently announced a
raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal
level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag
factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and
excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels
remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to
"Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher
levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have
gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for
regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack
random countries (ideally those without any credible military)"
and "Beg the British for help".
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent
bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again
to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been
"A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but
ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"
to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody
Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.
Funny
