09-15-2004, 09:05 AM
(Insert evil madman laugh here).
Well boys and girls, the newest version of the MAC is underway and it's going the way of Apple's MAC - relegated to a fringe audience who screams about how it's so much better than everything else even if it does only have a 0.0000001% market share. Anywho, MAC teams are making it way, way too easy to insult them this year so let's stick to just lousy analysis. Nah. We'll toss in a few insults just the same.
In the East:
1. Maimi (OH) - This is a school that has just discovered that, shock of shocks, a QB who was a first round NFL draft pick actually does contribute just a smidgen to the offense. Oh yeah. So do those 3 senior offensive linemen. After the expected romp over Indiana State, the Redskin fans actually expected their team to make a game of it at Michigan rather than taking their pounding and the paycheck. Oopsie. Of course, we know they'll be fired up for Cincy. Right? Won't they? NO THEY WON'T!!! A 45-26 drubbing served up by the Bearcats exposed a Swiss Cheese defense (something that is apparently endemic in the MAC this year). I was laughed at by Miami (OH) fans when I said that 2003 was a dream season and it wouldn't be repeated anytime soon. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
2. Akron was the third team, along with Miami (OH) and the Herd who was supposed to contend for the MAC East this year. Well, we now know that Middle Tennessee State will be chasing the Redskins and Marshall for the title.
3. Mentioning the Herd. Marshall put up one of the worst offensive line performances in the history of college football only to follow it up with an impressive showing against THE Ohio State University. And, much to everyone's surprise except the Herd faithful, Marshall's run defense looks stout this year although the secondary is having some problems. Will Marshall have any serious competition for the East title. It depends. Does the Troy team show up or does the OSU team show up?
4. Ohio (U) may be the surprise of the East and may be the only team to actually contend with the Herd. Despite what Bobkittie fans and Dr. Torch may think, the option is NOT the offense of the future. Ohio (U) has finally joined the 20th century and decided to take advantage of a rule that - gasp - actually allows one person to throw the ball in the air to another person. Many of their fans are still scratching their armpits (well, the Athens girls who haven't shaved their armpits anyway) wondering what to make of this new development but they may like the results on the field even if they remain puzzled by said forward pass.
5. Buffalo. New year. Same team. Not much defense and a weak offense. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
6. CFU fans are discovering another truth of college football. Forking out close to $1 mil per year to a coach is not a guarantee of a winning season. After last year's core meltdown, O'Leary has a monster rebuilding project on his hands. He might make it happen but don't look for the Kaniggits to make any serious waves this year (Floridians like to rely on all the damned Hurricanes for that) (See what you get for putting Dubya in office?)
7. Well, Kent's gotten tromped by Iowa and they sort of tromped Liberty. Bear in mind that if Kent had something more than a one man offense, they should have put up 50 on Liberty without even breaking a sweat. Instead, they only put up 38. Flush fans have one more season to enjoy watching the best athlete in the MAC. Next year, they will contend with Buffalo for the cellar in the East and they may make a run at ESPN's bottom 10.
In the West:
1. Toledump. Well, I could insult the Rockettes but their defense has been insulting enough. Although they certainly haven't experienced the off-field problems that CFU did last season, their meltdown is very reminiscent of that year. Amstutz the Hut has proven that he is a good coach but can he rally the team to actually start performing on the field? They get two patsies in EMU and Temple so they should end up 2-2 but, if either of those games is the least bit close, the Rockettes may have a season of discontent.
2. BUGS. This is the only team in the MAC that's been consistent so far. They gave the Sooners a decent game and gave the expected pounding to SEMO. But, what the hell is up with the MAC this year putting the big matchups at the beginning of the season? If someone can explain to me the logic of that decision, I'll kiss your ****** and do it in public. BUGS gets the Huskies on Sep 23 and that game could decide the West just like the Marshall/Miami (OH) game could decide the East. Hint to MAC officials. You need to draw the crowds in November. To draw those crowds, you need to give people a reason to show up. Deciding the title in September is the opposite.
3. EMU fans are talking smack. It's the 6th sign of the apocolypse. Why they are talking smack I have no idea. They eked out a close win over one of the worst teams in all of college football. Apparently, they take hope from the fact that they kept an overrated Florida team close for about a 1 1/2 quarters. Won't matter. Toledump Tom will soon put the lie to EMU delusions that they actually have a decent team this year.
4. WMU fans are just crying. What the hell has happened to that program? Ever since Darnell said he was leaving, then said he was staying, then said he was leaving, then stayed, they've gone downhill. OK. "Should I Stay or Should I Go" is a good song but it's a lousy philosophy for a head coach to communicate.
5. CMU was picked by many, including yours truly to be the surprise team in the West. Well, they've been a surprise all right. To be frank, they have been a surprise but the surprise has been how badly they've played. They got blown out by Indiana (hey, it ain't basketball season) and then got beat by Michigan State. Well now you say. That's Michigan State. Sure, but the Spartans lost to Rutgers. Say it again. Rutgers. Assuming a communicative property to college football, that means CMU is worse than Rutgers. That's bad folks.
6. NIU has been on their stereotypical roller coaster. After giving Maryland all they wanted, they gave Southern Illinois all they wanted. Still, we can probably assume that NIU was down after the close loss to the turtles so I don't put a whole lot of stock in the SIU game. The question for NIU is - how will they figure out a way to lose the West again this year?
7. Ball State is playing going for the schizophrenia award. Played Boston College to within 6 and then got obliterated and humiliated and domesticated by Purdue. In all fairness, Purdue may be the most underranked team in the country right now. They are looking very, very good. So, the verdict is still out on Testicle Tech. The won't win the West but they might just play the spoiler.
_____________________________
That's all for now boys and girls. Tune in next week when Bullwinkle asks, "hey Rocky, will the Rockettes set an NCAA record for points allowed?"
Well boys and girls, the newest version of the MAC is underway and it's going the way of Apple's MAC - relegated to a fringe audience who screams about how it's so much better than everything else even if it does only have a 0.0000001% market share. Anywho, MAC teams are making it way, way too easy to insult them this year so let's stick to just lousy analysis. Nah. We'll toss in a few insults just the same.
In the East:
1. Maimi (OH) - This is a school that has just discovered that, shock of shocks, a QB who was a first round NFL draft pick actually does contribute just a smidgen to the offense. Oh yeah. So do those 3 senior offensive linemen. After the expected romp over Indiana State, the Redskin fans actually expected their team to make a game of it at Michigan rather than taking their pounding and the paycheck. Oopsie. Of course, we know they'll be fired up for Cincy. Right? Won't they? NO THEY WON'T!!! A 45-26 drubbing served up by the Bearcats exposed a Swiss Cheese defense (something that is apparently endemic in the MAC this year). I was laughed at by Miami (OH) fans when I said that 2003 was a dream season and it wouldn't be repeated anytime soon. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
2. Akron was the third team, along with Miami (OH) and the Herd who was supposed to contend for the MAC East this year. Well, we now know that Middle Tennessee State will be chasing the Redskins and Marshall for the title.
3. Mentioning the Herd. Marshall put up one of the worst offensive line performances in the history of college football only to follow it up with an impressive showing against THE Ohio State University. And, much to everyone's surprise except the Herd faithful, Marshall's run defense looks stout this year although the secondary is having some problems. Will Marshall have any serious competition for the East title. It depends. Does the Troy team show up or does the OSU team show up?
4. Ohio (U) may be the surprise of the East and may be the only team to actually contend with the Herd. Despite what Bobkittie fans and Dr. Torch may think, the option is NOT the offense of the future. Ohio (U) has finally joined the 20th century and decided to take advantage of a rule that - gasp - actually allows one person to throw the ball in the air to another person. Many of their fans are still scratching their armpits (well, the Athens girls who haven't shaved their armpits anyway) wondering what to make of this new development but they may like the results on the field even if they remain puzzled by said forward pass.
5. Buffalo. New year. Same team. Not much defense and a weak offense. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
6. CFU fans are discovering another truth of college football. Forking out close to $1 mil per year to a coach is not a guarantee of a winning season. After last year's core meltdown, O'Leary has a monster rebuilding project on his hands. He might make it happen but don't look for the Kaniggits to make any serious waves this year (Floridians like to rely on all the damned Hurricanes for that) (See what you get for putting Dubya in office?)
7. Well, Kent's gotten tromped by Iowa and they sort of tromped Liberty. Bear in mind that if Kent had something more than a one man offense, they should have put up 50 on Liberty without even breaking a sweat. Instead, they only put up 38. Flush fans have one more season to enjoy watching the best athlete in the MAC. Next year, they will contend with Buffalo for the cellar in the East and they may make a run at ESPN's bottom 10.
In the West:
1. Toledump. Well, I could insult the Rockettes but their defense has been insulting enough. Although they certainly haven't experienced the off-field problems that CFU did last season, their meltdown is very reminiscent of that year. Amstutz the Hut has proven that he is a good coach but can he rally the team to actually start performing on the field? They get two patsies in EMU and Temple so they should end up 2-2 but, if either of those games is the least bit close, the Rockettes may have a season of discontent.
2. BUGS. This is the only team in the MAC that's been consistent so far. They gave the Sooners a decent game and gave the expected pounding to SEMO. But, what the hell is up with the MAC this year putting the big matchups at the beginning of the season? If someone can explain to me the logic of that decision, I'll kiss your ****** and do it in public. BUGS gets the Huskies on Sep 23 and that game could decide the West just like the Marshall/Miami (OH) game could decide the East. Hint to MAC officials. You need to draw the crowds in November. To draw those crowds, you need to give people a reason to show up. Deciding the title in September is the opposite.
3. EMU fans are talking smack. It's the 6th sign of the apocolypse. Why they are talking smack I have no idea. They eked out a close win over one of the worst teams in all of college football. Apparently, they take hope from the fact that they kept an overrated Florida team close for about a 1 1/2 quarters. Won't matter. Toledump Tom will soon put the lie to EMU delusions that they actually have a decent team this year.
4. WMU fans are just crying. What the hell has happened to that program? Ever since Darnell said he was leaving, then said he was staying, then said he was leaving, then stayed, they've gone downhill. OK. "Should I Stay or Should I Go" is a good song but it's a lousy philosophy for a head coach to communicate.
5. CMU was picked by many, including yours truly to be the surprise team in the West. Well, they've been a surprise all right. To be frank, they have been a surprise but the surprise has been how badly they've played. They got blown out by Indiana (hey, it ain't basketball season) and then got beat by Michigan State. Well now you say. That's Michigan State. Sure, but the Spartans lost to Rutgers. Say it again. Rutgers. Assuming a communicative property to college football, that means CMU is worse than Rutgers. That's bad folks.
6. NIU has been on their stereotypical roller coaster. After giving Maryland all they wanted, they gave Southern Illinois all they wanted. Still, we can probably assume that NIU was down after the close loss to the turtles so I don't put a whole lot of stock in the SIU game. The question for NIU is - how will they figure out a way to lose the West again this year?
7. Ball State is playing going for the schizophrenia award. Played Boston College to within 6 and then got obliterated and humiliated and domesticated by Purdue. In all fairness, Purdue may be the most underranked team in the country right now. They are looking very, very good. So, the verdict is still out on Testicle Tech. The won't win the West but they might just play the spoiler.
_____________________________
That's all for now boys and girls. Tune in next week when Bullwinkle asks, "hey Rocky, will the Rockettes set an NCAA record for points allowed?"
If CMU scores there, it's either 17-10 or 17-6 and still a game :( BTW, the Hoosiers used the same formula (defense and great special teams) to win in Eugene on Saturday. Oregon had something like 250 more yards of total offense but was undone by a slew of turnovers and an IU kickoff return for a TD. 