01-10-2005, 05:36 AM
So Stick and I decide to go to Athens to see the basketball game yesterday. Game's at 1:00 and we plan on leaving around 10:00am for the hour and 40 minute drive. He picks me up right on time and we decide to go up route 2 and over to Gallipolis. We stop in a supermarket looking for a cooler and find none. Five or six miles up route 2 we see the big flashing sign "road closed" due to high water. Having not gone very far, we decide to turn around, hit Huntington, cross the river, and go up Ohio Route 7.
We get into Proctorville and stop at a Kroger, again, to find a cooler. They have nothing. We decide to get a cat litter box and put ice in it to chill some beers. Finally I ask a guy if they have coolers and he says yeah over in the last aisle that we hadn't got to yet. We get there and they have styrofoam tiny coolers that are much taller than wide. We get two and transfer beer and ice. It is clear that the are not stable for car riding, so I stick one behind my seat on the floor. When I sit down the annoying squeak of styrofoam begins and immediately we know that ain't working. I look at Stick, we see the seatbelts in the back. Looks like a good fit. We seatbelt our wierdly shaped coolers into the back seats and we are on the road again. It is now about 10:30. We head up route 7.
A dinky, beat up, metal "road closed" sign is on the side of the road in a less than useful spot. We see it but can't determine if it meant rt 7 or some other sh!thole road on the side. We decide to persevere as time is starting to ebb. We get past the locks almost to Gallipolis and then we see the water well up over the road. @#$%. We had no map. We have to turn around. We pass a small carryout/slash bar. I figure some local knowledge might help us find and alternate route so I go in to ask. There I meet 2 of the oldest and most shriveled humans on the face of the earth and I'm told "You can't get there from here." Undaunted we head back towards Huntington.
There is a rest stop on the side of the road. As we drive by I see a map posted. We are back in the game. Stick slams on the brakes, while I look back to check on the kids (coolers). Our restraining system has been successful. We stare at the map for five minutes or so and we see that one road heads over the hill, away from the river, and connects to a rt 218 that heads to Gallipolis, away from the river. We head back up rt 7 to this Baden road just before the locks and make a left away from the flooding.
Our plan is successful until 218 merges with 7 again just before Gallipolis. Mentally we are starting to feel the pinch. It is now like 11:40 and it is clear that making the start of the game is going to be a challenge. We are up for it but the mile stretch of route 7 to Gallipolis is closed. We stop in a gas station and get a map. While Stick goes in, I ask some locals for directions around the blocked road. The first guy I catch at the pumps, opens his mouth to talk and has zero teeth and a wad of chew the consumes his entire mouth. It was like staring into a black hole. He tries to tell me something but is completely unintelligible. Couple good ole boys in a pick-up hear me pleading and tell me another way. We are off again.
We head out on the new route to Gallipolis, a good five mile circumvention, and get into town where there is a detour. We follow the detour but are unsure if it is going to mess up the new directions as it may have routed us around a key turn. Thankfully it did not and we see where we are to turn onto rt 160. Back in business. Nearly noon, we are consumed by the quest and persevere on. It is time to open the coolers as we head out another backwater (literally) road. We may not ever get there alive, but we are by-god gonna feel good when we do. Several miles up the road we run into Raccoon Creek. It is completely covering the route just before the town of Vinton. It looks shallow, but is moving very fast. We've seen to much weather channel and 911 rescue to attempt the crossing. I break out the map. We see some alternate routes we can use to get back on 160 further up the way.
We take roads no man has been on since they were created. Gravel roads, with cow piles all over them. At each turn we make towards 160 we run into raccoon creek and another flood zone. We keep backtracking and refiguring, navigating on-the-fly with our trusty map. Finally we get back on 160 as it nears game time. We are still about 45 minutes away. I see a route that cuts over to 32 and avoids Raccoon creek that crosses 160 again just before it meets 32. We take this road. This is the windiest, hilliest road in the universe. We got a few beers in us. I'm thinking I'm gonna hurl as we hit the corners with blazing speed and travers the short, sharp hills that pick up plus and minus g's as if on a perpetual roller coaster. We finally get to 32. It is a sight to behold. We now have four lane road into Athens. We are listening to the game on the radio and Marshall is down. We pull into Athens and park with about 3 minutes till halftime. Both of having to relieve ourself. We go water the trees, surrounded by vehicles and strategically behind the team bus. We decide to wait till after halftime to go in. Several more beers go down easy and we headed in.
No one checks us for tickets. We didn't have any anyway. There's about 1200 people in there and so space was available. I stop and talk to Woody for a second and we proceed to the corner of the student section. We sit down and some lowlife geek says we cannot sit there. No one is within fifty feet of us but we can't sit there. I did everything but threaten him and we still have to move. We leave and as soon as we do that pimple-faced brat leaves the section anyway. We were like wtf? So we go across the arena, right acroos the floor and site behind the Masrhall Bench. It was a really great place to sit except Jirsa wouldn't sit down so we had to look around him a bit. It was a frustrating game for us, but considering what we went through to be there it was emotionally charged.
Game ends, we lose. Now we have to get home. We know we are not finding the same route again to get back that way. I ask the team bus driver how they got there and he tels me 33 is open all the way to Ravenswood, now. We are on it again. Thankfully the reports are right this time. We get home.
The bulk of this could have been avoided if the media had mentioned one iota of road closures while discussing the game upcoming in Athens. They mentioned nothing. A simple "Hey if you're going, don't go this way" would have sufficed. But this one just goes in the books as another testament to the dedication of the Herd fan. If you made it this far with me I hope enjoyed our tale. Took us nearly 4 hours to go 95 miles. Oh well.
We get into Proctorville and stop at a Kroger, again, to find a cooler. They have nothing. We decide to get a cat litter box and put ice in it to chill some beers. Finally I ask a guy if they have coolers and he says yeah over in the last aisle that we hadn't got to yet. We get there and they have styrofoam tiny coolers that are much taller than wide. We get two and transfer beer and ice. It is clear that the are not stable for car riding, so I stick one behind my seat on the floor. When I sit down the annoying squeak of styrofoam begins and immediately we know that ain't working. I look at Stick, we see the seatbelts in the back. Looks like a good fit. We seatbelt our wierdly shaped coolers into the back seats and we are on the road again. It is now about 10:30. We head up route 7.
A dinky, beat up, metal "road closed" sign is on the side of the road in a less than useful spot. We see it but can't determine if it meant rt 7 or some other sh!thole road on the side. We decide to persevere as time is starting to ebb. We get past the locks almost to Gallipolis and then we see the water well up over the road. @#$%. We had no map. We have to turn around. We pass a small carryout/slash bar. I figure some local knowledge might help us find and alternate route so I go in to ask. There I meet 2 of the oldest and most shriveled humans on the face of the earth and I'm told "You can't get there from here." Undaunted we head back towards Huntington.
There is a rest stop on the side of the road. As we drive by I see a map posted. We are back in the game. Stick slams on the brakes, while I look back to check on the kids (coolers). Our restraining system has been successful. We stare at the map for five minutes or so and we see that one road heads over the hill, away from the river, and connects to a rt 218 that heads to Gallipolis, away from the river. We head back up rt 7 to this Baden road just before the locks and make a left away from the flooding.
Our plan is successful until 218 merges with 7 again just before Gallipolis. Mentally we are starting to feel the pinch. It is now like 11:40 and it is clear that making the start of the game is going to be a challenge. We are up for it but the mile stretch of route 7 to Gallipolis is closed. We stop in a gas station and get a map. While Stick goes in, I ask some locals for directions around the blocked road. The first guy I catch at the pumps, opens his mouth to talk and has zero teeth and a wad of chew the consumes his entire mouth. It was like staring into a black hole. He tries to tell me something but is completely unintelligible. Couple good ole boys in a pick-up hear me pleading and tell me another way. We are off again.
We head out on the new route to Gallipolis, a good five mile circumvention, and get into town where there is a detour. We follow the detour but are unsure if it is going to mess up the new directions as it may have routed us around a key turn. Thankfully it did not and we see where we are to turn onto rt 160. Back in business. Nearly noon, we are consumed by the quest and persevere on. It is time to open the coolers as we head out another backwater (literally) road. We may not ever get there alive, but we are by-god gonna feel good when we do. Several miles up the road we run into Raccoon Creek. It is completely covering the route just before the town of Vinton. It looks shallow, but is moving very fast. We've seen to much weather channel and 911 rescue to attempt the crossing. I break out the map. We see some alternate routes we can use to get back on 160 further up the way.
We take roads no man has been on since they were created. Gravel roads, with cow piles all over them. At each turn we make towards 160 we run into raccoon creek and another flood zone. We keep backtracking and refiguring, navigating on-the-fly with our trusty map. Finally we get back on 160 as it nears game time. We are still about 45 minutes away. I see a route that cuts over to 32 and avoids Raccoon creek that crosses 160 again just before it meets 32. We take this road. This is the windiest, hilliest road in the universe. We got a few beers in us. I'm thinking I'm gonna hurl as we hit the corners with blazing speed and travers the short, sharp hills that pick up plus and minus g's as if on a perpetual roller coaster. We finally get to 32. It is a sight to behold. We now have four lane road into Athens. We are listening to the game on the radio and Marshall is down. We pull into Athens and park with about 3 minutes till halftime. Both of having to relieve ourself. We go water the trees, surrounded by vehicles and strategically behind the team bus. We decide to wait till after halftime to go in. Several more beers go down easy and we headed in.
No one checks us for tickets. We didn't have any anyway. There's about 1200 people in there and so space was available. I stop and talk to Woody for a second and we proceed to the corner of the student section. We sit down and some lowlife geek says we cannot sit there. No one is within fifty feet of us but we can't sit there. I did everything but threaten him and we still have to move. We leave and as soon as we do that pimple-faced brat leaves the section anyway. We were like wtf? So we go across the arena, right acroos the floor and site behind the Masrhall Bench. It was a really great place to sit except Jirsa wouldn't sit down so we had to look around him a bit. It was a frustrating game for us, but considering what we went through to be there it was emotionally charged.
Game ends, we lose. Now we have to get home. We know we are not finding the same route again to get back that way. I ask the team bus driver how they got there and he tels me 33 is open all the way to Ravenswood, now. We are on it again. Thankfully the reports are right this time. We get home.
The bulk of this could have been avoided if the media had mentioned one iota of road closures while discussing the game upcoming in Athens. They mentioned nothing. A simple "Hey if you're going, don't go this way" would have sufficed. But this one just goes in the books as another testament to the dedication of the Herd fan. If you made it this far with me I hope enjoyed our tale. Took us nearly 4 hours to go 95 miles. Oh well.