calvin12 Wrote:sarasotahuskie Wrote:DrTorch Wrote:Do you know the air-speed of an African swallow?
<a href='http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/' target='_blank'>Airspeed</a>
But I still don't know how it holds onto it. I think the coconuts are migratory!
Two possibilities:
ONE
Soldier #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
TWO
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?
Or coconuts are migratory - probably moving at night
the sneaky bastards. This is how they communicate:
Hammer: Look Einstein, here's Cocoanut Manor. No matter what you say, this is Cocoanut Manor. Here's Cocoanut Manor, here's Cocoanut Heights -- that's the swamp, and, eh, right over here where the road forks, that's Cocoanut Junction.
Chico: Where you got Cocoanut Custard?
Hammer: Why, that's on one of the forks...you probably eat with your knife, so you won't have to worry about that. Now, eh, here is the main road leading out of Cocoanut Manor...that's the road I wish you were on. Now, over here on this site we're gonna build an eye and ear hospital. This is gonna be a site for sore eyes. You understand?
Chico: Thatsa fine.
Hammer: Now, right over here...this is the residential section.
Chico: Oh, people live there, eh?
Hammer: No, that's the stockyard. Now, all along here, this is the river front. And all along the river...all along the river, those are all levies.
Chico: That's the Jewish neighborhood?
Hammer: (pause) Well, we'll Passover that...You're a peach, boy. Now, here is a little peninsula, and, eh, here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?
Hammer: I'm alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Alright, why a duck?
Hammer: (pause) I'm not playing "Ask Me Another," I say that's a viaduct.
Chico: Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?
Hammer: Well, I don't know why a no chicken; I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you'll find out why a duck.
Chico: When I go someplace I just...
Hammer: (interrupts) It's...It's deep water, that's why a duck. It's deep water.
Chico: That's why a duck...
Hammer: Look...look, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and you wanted to ford over...You couldn't make it, it's too deep!
Chico: Well, why do you want with a Ford if you gotta horse?
Hammer: Well, I'm sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it's a viaduct.
Chico: Now look, alright, I catch ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that...I no catch ona why a duck.
Hammer: I was only fooling...I was only fooling. They're gonna build a tunnel there in the morning. Now is that clear to you?
Chico: Yes, everything excepta why a duck.
Hammer: Well, that's fine...then we can go ahead with this thing. Now look...I'm gonna take you down and show you our cemetery. I've got a waiting list of fifty people down at that cemetery just dying to get in it, but I like you.
Chico: Yeah, you're my friend.
Hammer: I like you, and I'm gonna shove you in ahead of all of 'em.
Chico: I know you like me.
Hammer: I'm gonna see that you get a steady position.
Chico: Atsa good.
Hammer: And if I can arrange it, it'll be horizontal...
