8. Charlotte 3-and-9'ers

Speaking of head coaches, Charlotte's new boss is Biff Poggi, who smokes cigars, wears cutoff T-shirts like he's walking his dog on Myrtle Beach, has a "Hard Knocks"-style reality show coming to ESPN+ and is self-made rich via success as a hedge fund investor, even donating $500,000 of his salary back into the program. He's not Coach Prime Time. He's Coach Big Time.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/st...-bottom-10

Only because they're Charlotte, my least favorite city in NC: the 3 & 9ers will be their new nickname until they've cast it aside.

All in good fun, Charlotte. ECU has been there.

clt says the reporter lives in charlotte and it is a novelty article. build the audience for our espn doc!

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte and it is a novelty article. build the audience for our espn doc!

Nice try, ghost. It's a weekly series that runs all through football season. Most of us here have made it at one time or another.

Suck it up and get off that thing.

(08-25-2023 12:41 AM)TripleA Wrote:  

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte and it is a novelty article. build the audience for our espn doc!

Nice try, ghost. It's a weekly series that runs all through football season. Most of us here have made it at one time or another.

Suck it up and get off that thing.

clt is aware of the article, we have appeared before.

(08-25-2023 07:31 AM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  

(08-25-2023 12:41 AM)TripleA Wrote:  

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte and it is a novelty article. build the audience for our espn doc!

Nice try, ghost. It's a weekly series that runs all through football season. Most of us here have made it at one time or another.

Suck it up and get off that thing.

clt says is aware of the article, we have appeared before.

I think the 3&9ers are a regular guest star on that list. Be proud. Own it.

Are we not going to discuss the Waiting List?

(08-25-2023 07:48 AM)Dusky Wrote:  Are we not going to discuss the Waiting List?

Let's discuss the fact that Rice did not make the waiting list for a change.

(08-25-2023 12:41 AM)TripleA Wrote:  

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte and it is a novelty article. build the audience for our espn doc!

Nice try, ghost. It's a weekly series that runs all through football season. Most of us here have made it at one time or another.

Suck it up and get off that thing.

This. I don't remember how often we made the 10, but "EC-Yew" was definitely a regular on the waiting list through most of 2017-2018.

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte ...

Yep. And a Tennessee/Knoxville grad. He and his “as East Tennessee as she could possibly be” wife joke that they named their daughter after "Rocky Top." ("Tara is Irish for rocky hill.")

https://cci.utk.edu/2023/04/18/espns-rya...ent-speech

(08-25-2023 10:12 AM)Almadenmike Wrote:  

(08-24-2023 09:54 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says the reporter lives in charlotte ...

Yep. And a Tennessee/Knoxville grad. He and his “as East Tennessee as she could possibly be” wife joke that they named their daughter after "Rocky Top." ("Tara is Irish for rocky hill.")

https://cci.utk.edu/2023/04/18/espns-rya...ent-speech

So he married his sister?

clt finds the article comical

(08-24-2023 07:54 PM)Side.Show.Joe Wrote:  8. Charlotte 3-and-9'ers

Speaking of head coaches, Charlotte's new boss is Biff Poggi, who smokes cigars, wears cutoff T-shirts like he's walking his dog on Myrtle Beach, has a "Hard Knocks"-style reality show coming to ESPN+ and is self-made rich via success as a hedge fund investor, even donating $500,000 of his salary back into the program. He's not Coach Prime Time. He's Coach Big Time.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/st...-bottom-10

1. UMess
Sorry, Minuteman Tour Guide Guy, but hey, I'm an excellent swimmer. And yes, UMass opens the season with the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year: Episode I with a trip to natural regional rival New Mexico State.


2. #Kentergy
The Golden Flashes have a new coach in Kenni Burns, who has been preaching the mantra of "Kent Grit." I've eaten a lot of grits in my Carolina-raised life, but never in Ohio. Also, after Kent State is done with its first two games -- trips to UCF and Arkansas, where the Flashes are estimated by ESPN's mystical and magical FPI to have a 6% chance of winning each -- we should call Ken Burns, the documentarian, and have him do a film about Kenni Burns. I can already hear Peter Coyote's voice set to piano music: "They called it 'Kent Grit'..."


3. ULM (pronounced "uhlm")
The good news? Terry Bowden is back for his third season, looking to get over the hump after back-to-back 4-8 campaigns. The bad news? He's pretty much the only person who stayed. The Warhawks lost more players to the transfer portal than I have lost socks to the laundromat dryer.


4. North by Northworstern
When the Wildcats finished last season 1-11 and wound up No. 4 in the final 2022 Bottom 10, no one thought the situation in Evanston could get any worse. Then the vaunted Northwestern student newspaper said, "Hold my Helles Lager from Double Clutch Brewing Company."

5. Rand-McNally
Traditionally, the Coveted Fifth spot goes to an organization that has enjoyed great success and esteem earned over decades of excellence, but has suddenly and inexplicably suffered an unforeseen series of losses. After this latest round of conference realignment, no one looks more useless and out of touch than mapmakers. 


6. Sam Houston, we have a problem
After decades of success at the lower levels of college football, the Bearkats have moved up to FBS football as members of the new-look Conference USA. A large chunk of this roster was also on the field when SH won the FCS spring season natty in 2021. But if they try to bring that up this September while playing BYU, Air Force or Houston, their new FCS foes will politely tell SH to "Shhhhh."


7. Jacksonville State Other Gamecocks
The Jacksonville that isn't in Florida also moves up to FCS via C-USA this season. The Gamecocks visit Sam Houston on Sept. 28 in a prime-time Pillow Fight candidate game. They also have a defensive end named J-Rock, quarterback Zion Webb is playing his seventh year of college football and their coach is Rich Rodriguez. If Ken Burns makes that movie about Kent State, then Jax State deserves Quentin Tarantino.


8. Charlotte 3-and-9'ers
Speaking of head coaches, Charlotte's new boss is Biff Poggi, who smokes cigars, wears cutoff T-shirts like he's walking his dog on Myrtle Beach, has a "Hard Knocks"-style reality show coming to ESPN+ and is self-made rich via success as a hedge fund investor, even donating $500,000 of his salary back into the program. He's not Coach Prime Time. He's Coach Big Time.


9. Whew Mexico No-Bos

While our world focuses on the Week 0 showdown between UMass and Whew Mexico State, don't sleep on Weeks 3 and 4 when the No-Bos host State, then travel to Amherst seven days later. One month after that, they go back-to-back with 2022 Bottom 10 members No-vada and Huh-why-yuh. That's some serious strength of schedule. As in SOS -- the one ships send up when they've run out of fuel in the middle of the ocean. You know, like in New Mexico.


10. FI(not A)U
Mike McIntyre's first head coaching job was at San Jose State. Then he moved 1,300 miles east to be head coach at Colorado. Then he moved 2,100 miles east to Florida International. By our calculations, his next job should be at Université Cheikh Anta Diop in Dakar, 4,000 miles east of Miami.

Waiting list: Western Not Eastern Michigan, Akronmonious, Boiling Green, No-vada, Huh-why-yuh, Texas State Armadillos, Baller State, US(not C)F, Arkansas State Fightin' Butches

https://www.espn.com/college-football/st...-bottom-10

(08-25-2023 10:17 AM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt finds the article comical

That's the main objective.

ESPN version of a MAD magazine article.

Quote:10. FI(not A)U

The most pertinent (to me, personally) part of the article.

I'm pretty sure I originally dubbed CLT the 3 and 9ers. Do I get paid if others use it?

I apologize for posting this thread. It's obviously a fake. A legitimate ranking would certainly have UTSA BB in the 5 spot.

(08-26-2023 07:36 AM)Side.Show.Joe Wrote:  I apologize for posting this thread. It's obviously a fake. A legitimate ranking would certainly have UTSA BB in the 5 spot.

clt says we were never on the list until the rancid stink of utsa mbb got on our campus

we're not on the 2023 preseason Bottom 10! yay!



Now we just gotta wait for the Bottom 25 to come out!