JMU Fans vs NDSU fans
I'm just laughing at all the posturing on these different boards. There's no difference between our fan bases, I could switch around avatars/names/adjectives and most of y'all are talking exactly the same about yourselves and the opponent. Both bases have fans that run the spectrum from good to douche.
Some of the common techniques:
The "Brag Rap"
Fan 1: My team/school/fan base/personal life is the best.
Fan 2: No way, my team/school/fan base/personal life is the best, yours is a far second.
Fan 1: Bullsh!t, my team/school/fan base/personal life is the best ever <insert biased/distorted personal anecdote here.>
Fan 2: Bullsh!t, my team/school/fan base/personal life is the best ever <insert biased/distorted personal anecdote here.>
Rinse and repeat until views are as diabolically opposed as Heat Miser/Snow Miser.
The "Well, That Escalated Quickly"
Fan 1: Hi fans of opposing team. You all are great. Can't wait for the game, should be a good one.
Fan 2: Thanks fan of opposing team. You all are great too, agree it should be a good one.
Fan 3: Hey Fan 1, agree your team is good but our team is better. We're probably going to win.
Fan 4: LOL at Fans 2 & 3, you're delusional. Our team is best ever, your team sucks.
Fan 5: Hey Fan 4, you're a pu$$y! I'm a real man. You can lick my nads.
Fan 6: <Censored due to pending litigation>
Rinse and repeat until at least a dozen federal civil rights statutes have been violated.
The "Us vs You"
Fan 1: Our fan base/part of the country really enjoys <insert innocuous item here>.
Fan 2: That's so lame. Our fan base/part of the country is so much better and enjoys <insert subjective item here>.
Fan 1: <Insert exaggerated anti blue state/red state, Midwest/East Coast, Liberal/Conservative, etc. stereotype here>
Fan 2: <Insert false anti blue state/red state, Midwest/East Coast, Liberal/Conservative, etc. lie here>
Rinse and repeat until country is divided.
The "Trump Statistics"
Fan 1: Our team/offense/defense/player/coach/mascot is the best <insert selective/skewed supporting data from untraceable source>.
Fan 2: (Responds with original stats quoted) That's bullsh!t. Our team/offense/defense/player/coach/mascot is even better <insert selective/skewed supporting data from untraceable source>.
Fan 1: (Responds with both original stats quoted, scrolling needed to get to new content) Wrong! Your data doesn't tell the whole story, this proves it! <insert selective/skewed supporting data from untraceable source>.
Fan 2: (Responds with all 3 original stats quoted, lots of scrolling needed to get to new content) Bull! Where did you get those numbers? My numbers are more accurate, here's more! <insert selective/skewed supporting data from untraceable source>.
Rinse and repeat until responses are so long that most fans fall asleep or bail before reaching new content.
The "Our Route Was Tougher"
Fan 1: You guys had an easy schedule, our team has proven better against stiffer competition.
Fan 2: What? Our path was much harder, the teams you've played were <inserted arbitrary rating average here>.
Fan 1: No way, the teams we've played were <inserted different but equally arbitrary rating average here>.
Fan 2: All the teams we played were at their peak, all the teams you played were slumping/trending down/chocking/etc.
Fan 1: We played without our starting place kicker and hot dog vendor.
Fan 2: Our opponents were issued stun guns and deflated their footballs.
Rinse and repeat until both sides had to play without pads against NFL teams.
The "Bandwagon/Coattail Rider"
Fan 1: The other team will win.
Fan 2: No way, this will be a close game but we'll win.
Fan 1: You don't know what you're dealing with, these guys don't lose. Period. Ever.
Fan 2: But what about when they lost?
Fan 1: They don't lose, #FakeNews.
Fan 2: Why do you even care, you didn't even go to that school?
Fan 1: We're in the same state/conference/hemisphere. And my team sucks so I need to root for a team that wins, even though I have no connection whatsoever.
Rinse and repeat until Fan 1 gets arrested for masturbating on opposing team's mid-field logo.
The "Antisocial Pot-Stirrer"
Fan 1: LOL at opposing fans thinking their team has a chance. We win in a blowout.
Fan 2: This game could go either way <insert example of why your team will be competitive>.
Fan 1: You have no chance. We win 78-3. And only because we play our cheerleaders by the 2nd quarter and your field goal is an 84-yarder carried by a tiny vortex created by your mother's coochie.
Fan 2: Wow. I've found most of your fans to be reasonable and knowledgeable, but you're a real moron.
Fan 1:F@#% you. Don't call me names you $%#@er. What the $%@# do you know? Your fans are the biggest bunch of &*$@%# I've every met. Every one of you. Go whack off to your Hillary Clinton/Donald Trump poster you $@#&*$ing snowflake/redneck.
Fan 2: Well, you just earned a block buddy.
Fan 1: F@$# you and your f@$#ing block you piece of &#%$.
Rinse and repeat until Fan 1 has alienated himself from both entire fan bases except the other 3 morons like him in his own fan base.
The "Transitive Property Hyperbole"
Fan 1: We beat a team that beat you. We're gonna win.
Fan 2: That team was good when we played them, they choked against you. We crushed them last year. We're gonna win.
Fan 1: We beat you last year.
Fan 2: Last year was last year.
Rinse and repeat until the game is over and one fan base can finally eat crow.
*** NOTE: If you're going to reply to this post, please for the love of Baby Jesus and all that is holy, don't reply with the full quote! ***
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JMU Fans vs NDSU fans
