https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/north-...spartanntp

This is a lawsuit that should be thrown out. If not, this couple can destroy adoptions in this country. No, its not a gay couple suing Catholic Charities. It is an unmarried couple who got turned down because they weren't married yet.

A lot of adoptions are done by mom and pop or religious organizations. Each mom and pop has its own criteria.

The good news is that this couple is representing themselves. They say its because they couldn't find an attorney without ties to Catholic Charities, but it may be just because they don't have a case.

That said, its not clear why they couldn't just go through the state if the child was in foster care.

There's entirely too much red tape for adoptions. Hope this lawsuit works.

You can't give a kid to just anyone. And with the birth parents, they have to give their consent.

If they think that criteria is strict, they ought to attempt to adopt a dog from a shelter and see what they have to do. Adopting a kid should be more strict than adopting a pet.

(10-13-2017 08:50 PM)UofMstateU Wrote:  If they think that criteria is strict, they ought to attempt to adopt a dog from a shelter and see what they have to do. Adopting a kid should be more strict than adopting a pet.

Our adopted daughter was left laying on the sidewalk crying when they wouldn't let us adopt a kitten (we wouldn't commit to not declawing).

Generally state laws prevent people who aren't married from adopting together. One of them can adopt or they can get married and adopt together. I don't have a problem with it. It seems like a unity of title kind of issue. It would create a whole legal can of worms to allow two individuals to adopt one child.

There is a lot going on here. The thing that puzzles me the most is that these people never met the child in person. That seems crazy as hell to me. We are talking about a couple of people just beginning their marriage adopting a 15 year old girl that they never met? Im glad this was halted. It looks like a potential disaster for everyone involved IMO.

They could just get married before they tried to adopt.

I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

(10-15-2017 09:34 AM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

And reforming this process is where the anti-abortion folks should be spending their time, money, and effort.

(10-15-2017 09:34 AM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

All true, but they are entrusting a child in your care.

My biggest complaint is with the open adoption process. Basically a 17 year old girl writes all the rules about how it works. If she wants to come to dinner every Thanksgiving and Christmas, that's how it is. And its a beauty contest. You have to sell your self, you life, your pets, again to a 17 year old girl.

The way it was done 50 years ago had some abuses, but now it is tilted too much to the birth parents and not enough to the child.

As for the adoptive parents, there is no certainty they will ever get a child even if approved by the agency. I knew one couple where the birth mother changed her mind after giving birth. The second time the baby died at childbirth. They gave up.

The beauty contest and uncertainty were a big reason we adopted overseas. So we have a bunch of Russians in our house (don't tell Machiavelli!).

(10-13-2017 08:21 PM)EigenEagle Wrote:  There's entirely too much red tape for adoptions. Hope this lawsuit works.

This lawsuit is not about eliminating red tape, it's about eliminating standards.

(10-15-2017 09:34 AM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

We are going through the process right now, but our experience isn't quite as bad as yours. Yes, they dig into your life, deep, I mean very deep, but we haven't had any issues with expenses.

Our costs so far are for a live scan, CPR classes, and a few other odds and ends. Not that much in total.

Of course, we aren't "buying" an infant, but looking to adopt out of foster care.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/nation/poli...he/2342071

Appears social worker failed in approving this couple.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41742181

I had doubts about this story, especially when they found her a good distance from the house.

"...He told detectives that on the night of Sherin's death, he had been trying to get her to drink her milk in the garage of the Dallas suburbs home.
"Eventually the 3 year old girl began to drink the milk," the police warrant says of the suspect's version of events.
"Wesley Mathews then physically assisted the 3 year old girl in drinking the milk.
"The 3 year old girl began to choke.
"She was coughing and her breathing slowed.
"Eventually Wesley Matthews no longer felt a pulse on the child and believes she had died."
Police say he has admitted to removing the girl's body from the home...."

Not married? Well if your not committed to each other, why should anyone think you'll be committed to the child?

(10-16-2017 10:54 AM)GrayBeard Wrote:  

(10-15-2017 09:34 AM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

We are going through the process right now, but our experience isn't quite as bad as yours. Yes, they dig into your life, deep, I mean very deep, but we haven't had any issues with expenses.

Our costs so far are for a live scan, CPR classes, and a few other odds and ends. Not that much in total.

Of course, we aren't "buying" an infant, but looking to adopt out of foster care.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you and your wife. We looked into doing that also. I just was so disgusted with the entire process that I just lost the drive to do it. My wife was pissed at me for a while about it. In retrospect? I did the right thing. My daughter developed type 1 diabetes at age 2 and it would have been a very complicated situation with another child to rear. We had our hands full with one.

One of the things that struck me about private adoption was the number of families adopting multiple children. Many already with 2 or 3. They obviously have the inside track on the entire process due to being vetted already and knowing the system. I guess it is good that they do it. The kids need homes. I commend anyone willing to make this commitment.

(10-15-2017 09:46 AM)Owl 69/70/75 Wrote:  

(10-15-2017 09:34 AM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I have a very sour opinion of the current state of adoption. My wife and I looked into back in the 90s and attended a couple of orientations put on by agencies. Basically...They want you to open your entire life to them along with your checkbook. The entire process seemed very intrusive, full of red tape and fcking stupid expensive. We bailed on the idea. It is a shame that the system is this way. It should be easier and less expensive for a loving couple to bring a child into their home. It is not. It is in fact a grueling process.

And reforming this process is where the anti-abortion folks should be spending their time, money, and effort.

I agree. The problem is that when a mother carries that child to term she is more and more unlikely to want to hand it over to someone and then later tend to want to seek getting the child back...not to mention the birth father also. There are perils galore to this system to anyone adopting a child this way.