(09-04-2017 08:45 PM)Dukes94 Wrote: My biggest issue with Mike Houston is that he's not also coaching men's basketball.
+1
I have a whole bunch of other issues with Mr. Houston, but I'm okay with him staying on as long as he starts with the following:
1. Needs to stop allowing his pre-game speeches to be recorded. Instead he call allow them to record him describing the animal shapes of his pre-game poos.
2. Needs to start wearing T-shirts that say things like "Offer me a job and I'll shoot your dog" and "I'm not sure I'd like to move again, it took me 2 months to relocate all those bodies".
3. During games, any time a camera's on him he needs to be shown consulting the invisible friend that lives in his pants, about which play to call. Every so often he needs to argue with his friend, including, but not limited to, smacking him while screaming "Bad boy! You're such a naughty boy!"
4. Press conferences need to be held in his car as he hits up Alger's and Bourne's houses with drive-by eggings, and ding-dong-ditches King.
5. He should require all interview requests be written in Sanskrit on a maxipad, and be accompanied by $50,000 in Canadian nickels.