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By Joanne Kimberlin The Virginian-Pilot
Jan 8, 2016
VIRGINIA BEACH--It doesn’t matter that a baby born to a same-sex married couple has only one of the women’s DNA, says the Circuit Court judge who decided what he called a “unique” issue Friday:
Both women should be considered equal parents.
Divorce and custody battles have been cropping up since shortly after same-sex marriage became legal, but attorneys for Lauren and Karen Poole say they’ve never heard of another case exactly like this one – at least not in Virginia.
At one point during the hearing, attorneys even squared off over exactly which aid was used to artificially inseminate Karen Poole: a turkey baster or a syringe? They argued that the choice of instrument could have a bearing in the case.
At stake: the rights of a nonbiological parent – a common situation in same-sex marriages.
Lauren Poole, 29, and Karen Poole, 31, are both from Virginia Beach. They married in Maryland in August 2013, the year before same-sex marriage became legal in Virginia, and almost two years before the U.S. Supreme Court legalized it across the country.
Wanting children, they enlisted a male friend to act as a sperm donor, impregnating Karen Poole with an at-home artificial insemination technique commonly known as the “turkey baster” method, according to written arguments filed by both sides.
After the pregnancy was confirmed, the three signed an agreement to release the donor from parental responsibility and name Lauren Poole as the child’s second parent.
The baby – a boy – was born in July 2014 at Sentara Princess Anne Hospital.
Six months later, the couple’s marriage was unraveling and Lauren Poole moved out of the family’s home. For the next few months, she visited the baby several times a week until an altercation led Karen Poole to take out a protective order that stopped all contact.
Lauren Poole filed for divorce and a fight for custody began.
“This is not the future I had planned when we decided to have a baby,” Lauren Poole said during an interview earlier this week.
Karen Poole declined a request from The Pilot to talk about the case, saying through her attorney, Kathleen Edge, that she considers it a private matter.
According to a brief filed by Edge, Karen Poole believes Lauren Poole shouldn’t qualify for parental rights because she isn’t physically related to the child.
Lauren Poole said the couple intended to eventually have several children but decided “Karen would go first. She’s older, and she really wanted to experience pregnancy.”
Lauren Poole says she did everything a spouse and parent is expected to do: provide for the family, participate in the birth, help take care of the baby.
She says her name is not on the baby’s birth certificate because he was born before same-sex marriage was recognized in the state. She says she had plans to legally adopt him but the marriage fell apart first.
Since then, any shot at custody – or even visitation – depended on the court declaring Lauren Poole a legal parent.
But things get complicated when old and new collide. Traditional laws used to protect or establish parentage are worded to cover birth mothers and male fathers. In light of today’s same-sex marriage, those laws must be interpreted in a “gender-neutral” manner, said Lauren Poole’s attorney, Barbara Fuller.
Says Edge, Karen Poole’s attorney: “It’s up to the legislature to change the words. We can’t just do it.”
Verbiage applying to artificial insemination was up for debate as well. According to a state statute, the husband of a woman who conceives through a donor is considered the father of her child – a law that would favor Lauren Poole if read in gender-neutral terms. But “medical intervention” is required for the statute to stick.
Originally, the Pooles had said they used a “turkey baster” – which isn’t considered “medical.” On Friday, Lauren Poole said they’d employed that method, but had actually used a 10cc syringe – which could be considered “medical.” The announcement surprised the other side and threatened to cause a postponement of the hearing.
In the end, Circuit Judge Steven Frucci said it didn’t matter. In upcoming custody hearings, he ruled, Lauren Poole will be considered the legal parent of a legitimate child.
To decide otherwise, Frucci said, would make “every child born in a same-sex marriage a bastard, and I’m not about to do that.”
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Ah, the wonders of (m)arriage: mommy & mommy & child
You guys are killing me! Think I needs me more Vitamin D.
