RE: Sun Belt Week 4
Figured it was high time I started my predictions up again
App State and Old Dominion: Big news out of ODU this week is that the Monarchs will be debuting a new defensive strategy in which whenever App has the ball, the ODU defense will stand still, and allow App to score an easy TD so the ODU offense can get the ball back faster. ODU's coaches believe that if they run this play enough, an App State player will eventually trip over his own untied shoe laces and fumble the ball. The new defense is called "Bobcat" App State 42 ODU 31
NC State at South Alabama: The game is pushed back several hours after the NC State team bus is late arriving to the stadium. You see, as they drove towards the stadium from the Airport, the NC State Bus driver saw the sign for Pensacola. Remembering his college Spring Break Days, he goes off on a lucid day dream about that bikini clad blonde he met back in 84. His memory is a little hazy after the event, because he's quite sure that beer he had wasn't just beer, but anyway, he remembers her very fondly and wants to rekindle his relationship after a messy divorce with his previous wife. Lost in thought, he drives the entire football team to Pensacola in search of his lost love. Once a replacement driver arrives and the Wolf Pack get to Mobile, they find most of the USA fans have left. NC State 31 USA 20
ULM at Alabama: In an attempt to gain an advantage on the opposing team, Todd Berry orders a bunch of Ole Miss jersey's off EBay, and uses that as the team uniform. Berry himself dresses up in a life like Hugh Freeze Costume to continue the ruse. Unfortunately Berry did not realize that Nick Saban has been having nightmares about this for weeks now, and under the advice of his therapist is advised to stab the eyes out of the Hugh freeze that appears in his dreams to taunt him, as a way to control his dream. Believing he is still dreaming, Saban grabs a butcher knife he keeps handy on the field and runs across the field after the Freeze look alike. Berry runs for his life away from what he saw as a deranged lunatic, and loses his mask in the process. Alabama realizes the trick and dominates. Bama 49 ULM 7. Meanwhile, Todd Berry resurfaces a few days later in Ozark, Al operating under the alias of Edgar, a diehard Auburn fan.
Akron at ULL Akron spends most of the week discussing ways to stop Elijah McGuire, who the Zips see as the key to the Cajuns attack. Using their organized crime connections the Zips administration pays a burly looking hit man to break McGuire's legs with a baseball bat. The hit man travels to Lafayette and walks into a Zydeco bar where McGuire is believed to be hanging out. Unfortunately the bar happens to be filled with 50 Cajuns. Next thing the Hit man knows, he wakes up tied to tree in a Louisiana swamp surrounded by hungry aligators, with only a pot of Jambalaya to protect him. [i]Cajuns 35 Akron 14[/i]
Texas State at Houston: Texas State's entire defensive team is ordered to walk to Houston after the disaster against Southern Miss. Unfortunately the team got lost in San Antonio and took a wrong turn and end up in the middle of nowhere trying to hitch hike. Texas State plays the entire game without it's defensive unit, and no one notices. Houston 45 Texas State 31
Arkansas State at Toledo: Before leaving Jonesboro, elements from an underground anarchist group approaches the football team about stealing the Rocket from the Toledo campus. The Organization, as they like to be called, wants to strap a nuke to the rocket and use it for their own purposes. Intrigued by the idea, Arkansas State steals the rocket, straps their own nuke on, and directs it towards Fayetteville, AR. Toledo 24 Arkansas State 21
Georgia Southern at Idaho. Per game day tradition, the Georgia Souterhn football team bottles water from beautiful eagle creek to take to the Kibbie Dome to sprinkle on the field before the game. Unbeknownst to the Eagles, a Gnat haad recently laid its eggs in a section of that water. Using the long plane flight to breed, the Gnats swarm the field in the hundreds once they are released, leading to mass confusion and panic from the Idaho fans in attendance. The Gnats attack the Potato fields that thrive in Idaho, killing off many of their crops. Thus, Georgia Southern becomes the sole cause of the great potato famine of 2016. Georgia Southern 49 Idaho 28
(This post was last modified: 09-21-2015 01:24 PM by chiefsfan.)
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