BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.
"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.
His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.
"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.
BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"
"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."
"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"
Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."
Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.
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