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BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
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alcalde Offline
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Post: #1
BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.

"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.

His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.

"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.

BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"

"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."

"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"

Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."

Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.
09-09-2015 11:55 PM
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jason80 Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Well played. Perhaps the greatest post I have ever read lol.
09-10-2015 03:32 AM
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holyterror Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
I thought it looked more like boredom and insomnia.
09-10-2015 04:51 AM
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roundhouse74 Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Isn't there a "smack" forum or some place where this might be appropriate?
09-10-2015 07:22 AM
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Pastnerized Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Actually, the post sucks.
However, my hat is off to you for the work done to deliver it.
09-10-2015 08:08 AM
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bigbob Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-09-2015 11:55 PM)alcalde Wrote:  Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.

"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.

His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.

"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.

BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"

"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."

"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"

Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."

Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.

Well good morning Geoff Calkins.....posing as "arcade"......in a calvacade of pure country horse s&it

The points--made to those of little judgmental discernment--were that (1) Pastner was not "in on any Top 100s" (he most certainly IS), and (2) Pastner certainly wouldn't be getting any commitments (he HAS).

Now as to to "5 names identified", Geoff, the current date is September 10 2015 with some measurable time distance before signing dates.

Pastner is active with a range of recruits and--considering history of his recruiting rankings--you are more than embarrassing yourself, you are dispensing any notion of competent judgments.

A fool speaking in elegant and dismissive language is still and elegant and dismissive fool.
09-10-2015 08:48 AM
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tiger2000 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
I'm curious - Bob do you keep two browsers open or go to the trouble of completely logging out and logging back in? Or do you use 2 devices, like a phone or tablet and a laptop?
09-10-2015 08:55 AM
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holyterror Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
He keeps a second server in the bathroom?
09-10-2015 09:07 AM
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bigbob Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-10-2015 08:55 AM)tiger2000 Wrote:  I'm curious - Bob do you keep two browsers open or go to the trouble of completely logging out and logging back in? Or do you use 2 devices, like a phone or tablet and a laptop?

It is encouraging to note that you have curiosity.....however lacking in intellectual depth.

Why don't you use your time and effort for substantive contribution instead of this juvenile silliness?
09-10-2015 09:34 AM
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tiger2000 Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-10-2015 09:34 AM)bigbob Wrote:  
(09-10-2015 08:55 AM)tiger2000 Wrote:  I'm curious - Bob do you keep two browsers open or go to the trouble of completely logging out and logging back in? Or do you use 2 devices, like a phone or tablet and a laptop?

It is encouraging to note that you have curiosity.....however lacking in intellectual depth.

Why don't you use your time and effort for substantive contribution instead of this juvenile silliness?

Maybe if I get some time, I will write a quick bot that will graph your online time cross-referencing it with that of other users.

Should be pretty easy to do.
09-10-2015 10:53 AM
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idroot4russia Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
It was a good idea, but execution was lacking. I'll give you a C for the effort.
09-10-2015 11:15 AM
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Tigermaniac Offline
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Post: #12
RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-10-2015 08:48 AM)bigbob Wrote:  
(09-09-2015 11:55 PM)alcalde Wrote:  Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.

"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.

His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.

"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.

BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"

"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."

"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"

Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."

Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.

Well good morning Geoff Calkins.....posing as "arcade"......in a calvacade of pure country horse s&it

The points--made to those of little judgmental discernment--were that (1) Pastner was not "in on any Top 100s" (he most certainly IS), and (2) Pastner certainly wouldn't be getting any commitments (he HAS).

Now as to to "5 names identified", Geoff, the current date is September 10 2015 with some measurable time distance before signing dates.

Pastner is active with a range of recruits and--considering history of his recruiting rankings--you are more than embarrassing yourself, you are dispensing any notion of competent judgments.

A fool speaking in elegant and dismissive language is still and elegant and dismissive fool.

Do you even know what a basketball is?
09-10-2015 11:16 AM
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450bench Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Great thread! 04-cheers
09-10-2015 12:33 PM
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TigerBo Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-09-2015 11:55 PM)alcalde Wrote:  Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.

"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.

His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.

"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.

BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"

"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."

"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"

Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."

Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.
Epic Applause
09-11-2015 09:28 AM
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Tgrrfan Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
(09-09-2015 11:55 PM)alcalde Wrote:  Not to be swayed by the media's contention that the University of Memphis Tigers' basketball recruiting is on a downswing, MT.org poster/troll "BigBlob" scoured every corner of the online recruiting archives for mention of his beloved Tigers.

"I found 8 players ranked between 78th and 250th in the nation that mention us among schools such as Ole Miss, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State, and USC….. 18 if you could the list of top 100 JUCOS!!" BigBlob asserted.

His reward for his hard work and research? His findings may perhaps be the slap in the face the infamous Negative Nine of the MT.org message board need to shut up about Memphis not being mentioned by any good recruits.
According to Clark Francis at HoopScoopOnline, the one man not afraid to go out on a limb with astonishing predictions as he did when he ranked Ivan Renko as a top 20 recruit for former coach Bobby Knight, Memphis would have the #56 rated recruiting class if they were to land the top 5 names that have listed them as among schools they want to visit.

"There are 68 teams in the NCAA, so 56th would give us an NCAA tourney level class" according to Blob.

BigBlob, completely an unknown in the world of internet geek message board troll analysts before his recent findings, is perhaps the first board nerd to confidently predict a teams success based on a list of visitations alone. He has assured the basketball world, or at least fans that frequent MT.org, that after signing Davis of Southern Idaho CC, Memphis' recruiting class is going to be "really good!"

"Most of these guys on my message board don't even hear about these potential recruits unless the are ranked in the top 50, or until we make their top 5 list. However living in my mothers basement rent free, and having a fetish for stalking, awards me the time to gather more information about potential visiting recruits than perhaps anyone in history. I know, for instance, that the #164th rated player in Alabama has told his classmate that he wants to visit Memphis."

"Recruiting is hard" said Pastner, "Those schools we are mentioned with have Hall of Fame coaches. Look guys, Ive been in recruiting a long time. The gap is smaller and smaller between the 40th guy and the 250th guy. So thats like getting potentially 5 guys ranked #40 in their class. But Im a feel guy too, so Im going to go after guys that fit into what we are trying to do here. I go for guys from winning programs. We have one guy we are looking at that didn't play one minute last year, but he comes from great parents who instilled a winning attitude. He also plays for the #8 JUCO team in the nation, so having played in practice everyday, his schedule is filled with nothing but top 10 teams! Thats a brutal schedule that forges winners"

Pastner concluded, "Look, the law of averages is going to work out eventually. If we have 18 top 100 JUCOS listing us and 8 top 250 high school players, based on the law of averages alone we will land at least 3 JUCOs and 1 high school kid."

Meanwhile, a group of posters at MT.org continue to assert that Memphis' recruiting, and in fact the basketball program as a whole, is slipping into obscurity.

Just wondering, have you read the AUP?

6) Any personal attack on other posters, school administration, and/or student athletes is subject to immediate removal without notice.
09-11-2015 12:26 PM
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ncrdbl1 Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Somebody has waaaay too much time on their hands
09-12-2015 09:06 AM
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MemphisTigerPawr Offline
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RE: BREAKING NEWS from The Onion: Poster ranks prospective list of visitors
Slipping? Lou Brock is jealous of our slide.
09-12-2015 09:57 PM
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