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EverRespect · 09-04-2014 08:42 AM

Quote:

Ye olde Big Sexy pulled an okey-doke from work early a day or so ago to head back to the Casa de Amor and work on some creative loafing for the evening. I turned on Fox to see what RINO BS they were spewing and saw it was The Five (which sucks el grande uno!). That show just blows. I like Eric whats-his-name who never wears a tie. He’s OK. But I’d like to put that no-necked, fat bastid Bob Beckel in an inverted suplex followed by an unsanctioned piledriver on the concrete. Andrea TanTortoise or something is ok but yeah, right, shut up. Dana Perino, yawn.

But Greg Gutfield. Man, listening to him always reminds me of Pee Wee Herman, only gayer. He has the little lispy, sassy speech pattern like most hombres in Nueva Jork. I like his writing because I don’t have to listen or look at him. He’s conservative and witty and has great thoughts. But something tells me he’s bitten a pillow or two in his day. Just a guess.

But every time I’ve had the misfortune of seeing The Five (which chupars el grande uno!), Gutfield has some faggy looking glasses on. Glasses no man who has ever put a sparkle in a little filly’s eyes should wear.

Par ejemplum:

Son, that’s just pitiful. Pitiful. These spectacles that will repel fillies and guarantee you a lifetime of holding your own:

I’m so damn glad I’m not a Yankee. The only men who wear glasses that ridiculous are either Yankees or Californians accustomed to getting poked in the eye with angry, fleshy things.

Greg, like I said, from your writings you appear to be all right. You just need a shot of tos-test-o-rene. Come on down to Texas and we’ll hunt us up some hogs and teach you how to shoot, act and dress like a man. In the mean time, get yourself some contacts for God’s sake! Effeminate, lispy, and metrosexual is no way to go through life, son.

But even Texans can look like Yankee metrosexuals (homosexuals in a metro). Case in point, RINO Governor Rick Perry. Not the brightest bulb in Texas by any means. But whoever picked out his new glasses needs to be fed to the hogs!

Hmmmmm….seems like AWD has seen those glasses before.

Ahhhhhh! The ugliest man in television propaganda! Here’s the deal, Governor Rick. If your glasses resemble those of Rachel Maddow, you’re doing it all wrong, junior.

Gutfield and Perry aren’t along with these masculine faux pas (that means “f*** ups” in French, I think). Here’s Glenn Beck. Glenn has been in Texas for a couple years so he ought to know better by now than to wear glasses like this fagwear:

Glasses like that are guaranteed to give one what Big Fur Hat of I Own The World calls a “punchable face.” I concur. That means I agree, I think.

Beck has a drawer-full of glasses guaranteed to get his ass kicked at his local Southlake pool hall. Of course, where Beck lives, they have billiard parlors. Glasses like these nerdy disasters:

The only people who wear glasses like this are named Poindexter and go around reciting the Pythagorean Theorem. And getting cowboy boots to the head. Except these would make it the PyFagorean Theorem. And get your nerdy ass kicked so hard you’d be wearing it for a hat. Sharpen up, Glenn! You’re a Texan now!

One more to show you Glenn Beck needs AWD’s help in a big way.

Glenn, when our paths cross again, you’re getting a slap!

They say clothes make the man. Probably, if you’re sporting an AWD t shirt, Wranglers and cowboy boots. But glasses like those illustrated above make the man look like a woman no matter what you’re manly attire you’re wearing.

Take heed in the Big Sexy’s words. Don’t dress like a Yankee or Californian and you’ll do just fine with the fillies. Don’t wear glasses that give you a punchable face. And quit pissing off AWD every damn time I turn on the TV!