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Florida man demands right to wed computer
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smn1256 Offline
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Post: #1
Florida man demands right to wed computer
Didn't we predict this? 03-lmfao03-lmfao


Chris Sevier, a man from Florida, believes he should be allowed to wed his Macbook.
Mr Sevier argues that if gays should be allowed to marry, then so should other sexual minorities.

Mr Sevier states he has fallen in love with a pornography laden computer.

“Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” he told a court in Florida.

This appears to be not a passing holiday romance, but a lifelong commitment.

If gays have the right to “marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object”, he said.

Mr Sevier, who describes himself as “a former judge advocate and combat veteran”, is persistent, filing claims not only in Florida but also Utah.

The Utah claim, which in reality is an attempt to throw a spanner in the works of a gay marriage case in the federal court, runs to 50 pages.

Mr Sevier argues that allowing gays to marry but denying him the same right amounts to discrimination.

“We are in different classes of sexual orientation,” he told the court in Utah.

If gays feel as is they are second class citizens, Mr Sevier argues then “those of us in the real minority, who want to marry machines and animals, certainly feel like third class citizens”.

Mr Sevier apparently sought a marriage licence for himself and his “machine spouse”, but for some reason was denied.

“The exclusion from marriage to a machine denies myself a dignity and status of immense import,” he argues in his motion.

Mr Sevier cites legal precedents around the world - including a case where a woman married a dolphin and a Chinese man wed a cardboard cutout of himself.

“Allowing my marriage to go forward will not adversely impact the fertility rate any more or less than a same sex couples.

“If there is a risk that is posed to traditional marriage and children, both man-man couples and man-machine couples pose it equally.

“In considering the equal protection clause, there are no fewer policy reasons for preventing man-machine couples from marrying than there are for same-sex couples.”

Unfortunately for Mr Sevier, the courts in Florida and Utah, found his legal arguments unpersuasive.

But with the gay marriage being tested in courts across the country, more motions are inevitable.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnew...-Utah.html
05-07-2014 09:31 PM
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Paul M Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
Less of a mockery than a man marrying a man.
05-07-2014 09:45 PM
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DaSaintFan Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
No worse than the lady who wanted to marry a tree... (yes, it was reported)
05-07-2014 10:22 PM
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HeartOfDixie Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
Why not?
05-07-2014 11:20 PM
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RUNVSFD MINER Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
I thought computers would no longer work with a 3.5 floppy.
05-07-2014 11:46 PM
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RUNVSFD MINER Offline
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RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
(05-07-2014 10:22 PM)DaSaintFan Wrote:  No worse than the lady who wanted to marry a tree... (yes, it was reported)

It was the wood she was after....
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2014 11:49 PM by RUNVSFD MINER.)
05-07-2014 11:48 PM
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JDTulane Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
(05-07-2014 09:45 PM)Paul M Wrote:  Less of a mockery than a man marrying a man.

01-wingedeagle01-wingedeagle
05-08-2014 12:35 AM
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VA49er Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
Freaking weirdo.
05-08-2014 04:51 AM
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EpicNiner Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
The guy isn't crazy, he knows exactly what he is doing and the article even mentions it. He is against gay marriage so he is bringing up an argument that many of you try to bring up on this board. He doesn't actually want to marry a machine, he just wants to make the point that he doesn't think gay people should be allowed to get married.
05-08-2014 07:37 AM
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supertiger Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
He's a disbarred attorney and model. He also sued Apple a few years ago for making him get addicted to porn.

This guy lived in Nashville for years and was arrested for stalking the county star, John Rich.

http://www.fox17.com/news/features/top-s...1235.shtml
05-08-2014 09:15 AM
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georgia_tech_swagger Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
This is where libertarians soar past Dems and a Conservatives who have to try to build a case from scratch over which arbitrary line makes sense.

Marriage is not a function of the state. Marriage is a function of individual people's religion/spirituality/feelings. The state should recognize for tax purposes whatever anybody wants to call marriage ... a marriage. Though when it comes to responsibility for minors, assets, etc ... that must fall upon a human 18 or older with sound mind. Beyond that marry whatever you damn well please. Yea, even animals. But you cannot fornicate with animals as they cannot give consent.
(This post was last modified: 05-08-2014 06:00 PM by georgia_tech_swagger.)
05-08-2014 09:20 AM
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Fo Shizzle Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
Well at least he won't have to beg for sex now. It is right at his fingertips 24/7
05-08-2014 09:55 AM
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Fitbud Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Florida man demands right to wed computer
(05-08-2014 07:37 AM)EpicNiner Wrote:  The guy isn't crazy, he knows exactly what he is doing and the article even mentions it. He is against gay marriage so he is bringing up an argument that many of you try to bring up on this board. He doesn't actually want to marry a machine, he just wants to make the point that he doesn't think gay people should be allowed to get married.

Bingo
05-08-2014 10:10 AM
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