Put all smack on this thread.

EDIT: This was originally posted on the Smack Board, The mods did not move it.

Your mother swims out to meet battleships.*










*Not really intended as a swipe at beagleagle's mother, who I'm sure is a lovely person, but rather to keep with the spirit of the thread.

What do you call a good looking woman on the UAB campus?


A visitor.

Come on we need some more people for the

Q. Why doesn't the Tulane Football Team have a web site?
A. They can't string three W's together.

(07-02-2011 04:29 PM)Beagleagle23 Wrote:  What do you call a good looking woman on the UAB campus?


A visitor.

What's the best thing to come out of Hattiesburg?


I59 to New Orleans.

(07-02-2011 04:35 PM)Smaug Wrote:  

(07-02-2011 04:29 PM)Beagleagle23 Wrote:  What do you call a good looking woman on the UAB campus?


A visitor.

What's the best thing to come out of Hattiesburg?


I59 to New Orleans.

After Sean "Snake" Anderson Namath Bear IV, 5-star recruit out of Mountain Brook, made a highly publicized announcement that he would be attending UAB instead of Alabama, the BOT quickly followed with a decision to drop UAB football.

UAB fans responded by signing a suicide pact. One fan would be chosen by casting lots. He would shoot all the others and then shoot himself.

On the day they followed through it made the front page of The Birmingham News as the city's first quadruple murder-suicide in at least 3 weeks.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, Wanna hear a good Memphis Tiger joke?

The guy next to him replies, Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6 feet tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Memphis grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, weighs 225, and he's a Memphis grad. And the fella next to him is 6-5, weighs 250, and he's a Memphis grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?

The first guy says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times.

(07-02-2011 04:52 PM)Beagleagle23 Wrote:  A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, Wanna hear a good Memphis Tiger joke?

The guy next to him replies, Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6 feet tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Memphis grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, weighs 225, and he's a Memphis grad. And the fella next to him is 6-5, weighs 250, and he's a Memphis grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?

The first guy says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times.

Now you've done it.

We need some Memphis and Tulane fans.

One day last week, a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up: fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father. He replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some math problems and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "he’s a football coach at Tulane, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

You want this to get lively, get some Rice fans going.

(07-02-2011 05:07 PM)Smaug Wrote:  You want this to get lively, get some Rice fans going.

Why Rice fans?

(07-02-2011 05:09 PM)Beagleagle23 Wrote:  

(07-02-2011 05:07 PM)Smaug Wrote:  You want this to get lively, get some Rice fans going.

Why Rice fans?

They can sling some pretty clever, high-brow smack.

(07-02-2011 05:15 PM)Smaug Wrote:  

(07-02-2011 05:09 PM)Beagleagle23 Wrote:  

(07-02-2011 05:07 PM)Smaug Wrote:  You want this to get lively, get some Rice fans going.

Why Rice fans?

They can sling some pretty clever, high-brow smack.

Yeah but their school has no room to talk.

What comes out of a chinaman's ass? RICE RICE RICE

Why do Marshall fans like smart women?

Opposites attract.

What does a pirate and a pimp have in common?
They both say YO HO!

LOOK ALIKES

LOOK ALIKES

Rice Baseball Coach Wayne Graham



Ebenezer Scrooge