Play theme music
"Blue Devil Jump" (written by Robert Johnson; performed by Eric Clapton).
Michael Moore voiceover
In 2001, President George W. Bush placed Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski and his basketball program squarely in the Axis of Goodness, saying, "[Duke] recruited for athletic talent, but they also recruited character, as well. ... Good people do finish first."
And that's when I became a Duke fan. I mean, who doesn't like good people?
Of course, Bush is the guy who said when he met Russian president and former KGB man Vladimir Putin, "I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. I was able to get a sense of his soul."
Bush, Coach K
Who knew how much Coach K and former KGB man Vladimir Putin had in common?
Bush isn't the only president who gushes over Coach K. Earlier this month, Duke University President Richard Brodhead said, "He's a person of high integrity who teaches character as much as he teaches basketball."
It makes me wonder, though -- what was Coach K teaching when he schooled the Lakers and his own university? As Jason Whitlock said on Page 2, "[A] little public flirting with the Lakers is the easiest way to modify your 'lifetime' contract, the one Krzyzewski signed in 2001." You mean that wasn't a sincere flirtation with the Lakers?
Whatever Krzyzewski was teaching at Duke, Carlos Boozer was taking notes. He just screwed the Cleveland Cavaliers into the ground so hard they'll need a bulldozer to dig out.
Or maybe Boozer learned from Jay Williams, former NCAA Player of the Year at Duke -- like Boozer and Krzyzewski, Williams was part of the 2001 team that visited the President at the White House, one of Bush's "good people."
Williams broke his Chicago Bulls contract when he bought a motorcycle and rode it on the street. Sad to say, he also crashed, broke his pelvis, tore up his legs and probably ended his career. In all, Williams deprived the Bulls and their fans of his services, the second pick in the 2002 draft, which they used to take him, and about $3 million in cash they used to buy out his contract.
It was awfully nice of Jay to settle for $3 million of the Bulls' money after doing that to the team. Maybe former Blue Devil Grant Hill should follow Williams' example. Hill is still collecting on the seven-year, $93 million contract he signed with the Orlando Magic in 2000. Four years later, how many games has he played in a Magic uniform? 47. The Magic have urged him to retire. He won't. They need to get his $13-plus million annual salary off their books. He'd rather keep the franchise crippled for years than give back a penny.
Maybe Hill learned from former teammate Christian Laettner, the Golden Boy of college basketball in the early '90s. He was named NCAA Player of the Year over Shaquille O'Neal, and was the only non-NBA player on the original Dream Team -- apparently, they needed a character guy. Never mind that he's been been considered a flop and a pain in the *** during his six-team NBA career. And maybe Laettner learned from his former teammate, Danny Ferry, another NCAA Player of the Year from Duke. Ferry decided he was bigger than the NBA, so he refused to play for the Clippers, forcing them to trade him to, yes, Cleveland -- where he bombed.
Duke, Coach K and his players are the White Knights of basketball. Goodness knows where we would be without their chivalry.
Cut to grainy video of Coach K in a tuxedo and singing at a podium
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