Perhaps the greatest man the earth has ever known has passed away.

I am speaking, of course, of the creator of some of the greatest television programming of all time- as well as the creator of Tori Spelling- who is something of a Paris Hilton that appears approachable.

Let us look at the wonderful women this man brought to us-

Shannen Doherty

Jacquline Smith

Kate Jackson

Cheryl Ladd

Farah Fawcett

Jennie Garth

Heather Locklear (remember on Battle of the Network stars when Howard Cosell would get all excited whenever Locklear did anything?)

Alyssa Milano

Holly Marie Combs

Rose McGowan

Linda Evans

Joan Collins

Stephanie Powers

AND SO MANY MORE

My God, Bond Girls have nothing- NOTHING on this group.

But in addition to these chicks, he gave us so much more-

Tattoo

Issac the Bartender

Gopher- and gave him a springboard for a political career!

He revived William Shatner's career! He gave Adrian Zmed life- and with that, BACHELOR PARTY LIFE!

And then we go directly to the Whitesnake videos!

We haven't even GOTTEN to Starsky and Hutch yet!

Do you realize the Ford Torino was a dying car brand until he came along and gave us Starsky and Hutch?

And Starsky and Hutch- in that sense. I mean, remember those episodes? Remember how he made us think that a 45-year-old guy with a gambling addiction who would steal 13-year-old cars owned by people in a nursing home with a bomb in the back COULD ACTUALLY DATE SUZANNE SOMERS????

There are so many wonderful places we could go here! Imagine Charmed on the Big Screen- only with an insestous lesbian theme!

I mean it's okay! They're witches- right?

I submit to you that we need ETSU to wear commemorative Aaron Spelling patches on their uniforms this year.

He had no tie to ETSU, of course.

But we are men.

And damn it, he made us complete!